Tag: Life

Protecting Your Home: An HOA Survival Guide for Black Residents

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— Psalm 103:2 NIV

Good day. I want to assert that I am an American. Society recognizes me as an older woman of color, and I proudly embrace this identity. The words of God affirm that I am His child. As my spiritual connection to Him keeps me steadfast in my growth and evolution on my spiritual journey. However, my husband reminds me daily that my personality is classified as type “A.” Until today, I had never researched the characteristics associated with this type. I must admit, I am pretty impressed—WOW!

Well, let us commence. I am committed to this series, as it addresses a vital issue affecting Black homeowners living in Homeowner Association (HOA) communities.

Firstly, I would like to inform you that HOAs are a means of land grabbing. And Black people aren’t getting it! We move into these communities with high hope that we are no longer “separate but equal. ” We soon realize our homes are constantly under scrutiny, as the figurative glass ceiling limiting home-ownership shatters around us.

NEW FLASH! Black Americans will never see a day when we are equal to anyone, anybody. Period! Now! Let’s discuss how to protect ourselves, our family, and our properties when living in HOAs.

You must understand these principles clearly if you live in an HOA. This is also important if you are planning to buy a home in an HOA.

If you struggle with discipline when it comes to yard work, an HOA property is not ideal. However, there are pros and cons of living in an HOA. And if you can help your children respect community spaces, they are less likely to be targeted. Maintaining personal boundaries is essential for parents and children residing in HOA communities. Now! Here’s the key to thriving in HOAs: ‘pride of ownership.” If you don’t have it, be prepared for ongoing fines and fees. And! Yes! And HOA can sell your home even if you are current on your mortgage payments! Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, we fervently ask for the mental and spiritual strength to live in HOAs. Ignite in us the wisdom to understand the rules before we dare to challenge them. Unleash a flood of opportunities for living within an HOA as others seek to destroy us. Amen

Finding Joy in Every New Day: A Personal Journey

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

It’s almost two in the morning, and I realize I must have fallen asleep early again. The house is peacefully quiet, and I want to do everything I can to not wake my family. So, I’ll settle at my desktop and write a little about why each new day fills me with joy.

When I was in my twenties, my mom essentially sent me into exile. She had no idea how her reckless decision, based on a lie, would impact me and my kids. My mom was aware that the world was a harsh and unforgiving place to navigate with a family. And she knew it’s even tougher without a support system. Yet, she still sent her child and grandchildren into it unprepared and unprotected. I remember crying a lot during this time.

Money was tight, and I had no clear career path, feeling like hope was out of reach. Without family support to guide me, I struggled to find my purpose. I was going through a string of relationships, searching for love, but often felt taken advantage of. That’s when God’s hand moved, and I was led into therapy.

Throughout my journey, I saw multiple therapists. One therapist stands out for telling me, “I don’t get why you’re so comfortable staying stuck.” In hindsight, it was heartbreaking—he didn’t realize that being mentally stuck felt like my sanctuary. It wasn’t until a decade later that his comment sunk in. And it was then that I began to make strides in changing how I moved throughout my life and the lives of others.

I made plenty of mistakes, but God’s grace was always there for me, each and every day. From the challenging life I struggled through, I learned about grace. I started sharing this lesson with my children. Grace became the reason why my children and I understood what family truly means. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

God, thank you for every day to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. Amen

Day Six – You’re Not Alone

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Good day! I hope to convey the essence of this blog in just two to three brief paragraphs, focusing on God’s omnipresence. He exists in the past, present, and future.

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with a dear friend who means so much to me. Even though she looked a bit pale, I initially thought she had a tough week. Imagine my surprise when she revealed that her week was actually fantastic! I couldn’t help but feel concerned about what might be stressing this gentle soul.

As I shared stories about my oldest and his children, she listened intently. Then, when I touched on an issue I hadn’t realized she was dealing with, her tears unexpectedly flowed. At that moment, I quietly shifted my focus, understanding it was her turn to open up and share her troubles.

She quickly shared her “shameful” feelings regarding something she’d done. I listened, stunned, thinking, “Oh wow!” Given her character, it was hard to believe what I was hearing. My mind immediately drifted to my blog post about “Bad Advice.” I certainly didn’t want to give my friend poor counsel, nor did I wish to hear all the messy details. Yet, she revealed them through her tears and her seeking relief from pain. As her friend, I suggested we find a solution together. We talked about what led to her current situation and began plotting a plan of action despite the heavy atmosphere of her stress!

To lighten the mood, I shared one of my most embarrassing moments. Her expression turned goofy as she was surprised I could be so silly! I believe we both began laughing at once. Then she exhaled! Following that, it was clear to see her emotions of hopelessness making way to let God assist her in overcoming her feelings of shame as she and He work to address and fix the issues that imprisoned her. Over time, her shame will fade away, becoming less and less of a burden each day. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, you are not the source of confusion but the great deliverer. Please spiritually liberate those who are trapped in emotional prisons due to shameful moments. Grant them the capacity to forgive themselves. Help them fix the problem and learn from these experiences to enhance their lives and become better individuals. Amen

Luke 12:48 – Abundance of Knowledge

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48

Sometimes, you have to embody the words you preach! 

Yesterday, I contacted a business regarding an issue with one of their products. In my first call, I spoke with a young Black woman. While she was managing my account, I shared my thoughts concerning the current situation in the U.S. Unfortunately, the call dropped, and I had to contact the company again to resolve the issue. Interestingly,  the second representative I spoke to was a White woman. She started the conversation off on a sour note! Frustrated with her attitude, I requested a transfer, but she told me I had no choice but to continue speaking with her. In response, I said I would hang up and call back. I did just that! On my third call, I talked to another Black woman. I got straight to the point because I didn’t want the call to drop, and while she was assisting me, we discussed something that prompted her to say, “I live in a poor state.” The way she expressed it made me feel she felt trapped.   We managed to resolve the issue, and the call ended with pleasantries and her feeling unheard regarding a personal disappointment.

To my surprise, she called me on her cell phone! I answered. I usually don’t answer calls unless I recognize the number or anticipate a business inquiry. Our conversation was brief, but nothing I said seemed to alleviate the pain she was expressing. Her responses made it evident that she felt isolated in her struggles as if she were the only one experiencing what she was going through.

This morning, I received a message that my Facebook page was scheduled for permanent removal due to trademark violations. A Meta’s customer service representative offered me the option to file a complaint, but I have none—it’s their business and their rules. I chose to move forward calmly. Although I was surprised that the email didn’t specify the content that was being violated, I responded that I respect others’ rights and understand Facebook/Meta must act in their interests. With that said, “Black Women Have It Going On” remains true regardless of the status of a Facebook page. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, I express my gratitude for the ability to read, understand, and the freedom to articulate my thoughts. I ask that I never intentionally use my blessings to harm others, regardless of whether they deserve such a response. I urge you to visit every workplace and bring forth the spirit of peace, freeing individuals who feel trapped, believing their current position is the ultimate goal. Show them the many opportunities that await. Amen

Reset on Decluttering – Day One

When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready . . . The teacher will Disappear. Tao Te Ching

Greetings from the Midwest! For the past few years, I’ve felt like I was on a struggle bus. But today, I’m in a much better place—mentally and emotionally, spiritually I’m riding in an Uber! It’s clear to see the true and living God is showing His presence in my life.

I’m now moving forward with intention. I’ve started decluttering my space and surrounding myself with people who uplift me. Some are here by invitation, others have come into my life naturally through shared interests, and a few have intruded! Can you guess which ones I’ve firmly nudged towards the exit? While it’s not always easy to remove people from our lives, preparing ourselves mentally and emotionally for their absence is crucial. Now, let’s discuss my ongoing mission to help us eliminate clutter and embrace a more positive lifestyle.

Today, I’m tackling my book collection! I hadn’t realized just how many books I owned until I ran out of space on my shelf. I kept voicing my dilemma about parting with the ones I love. Surely, I can’t love every book on my shelves! In reality, I often fell in love with the titles without even knowing the content. My approach to selecting books mirrors how I used to choose boyfriends: I’d pick someone based on looks, only to discover later that he was a bad read—truly rotten to the core!

Now, I consider many qualities that make a good person great for me. Not that I’m looking for a partner, but just saying! And if my husband were to pass away, I won’t be replacing him with a human. Instead, I’m planning to get a dog and the best quilting machine available!  Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, thank you for your grace and mercies. Please give us clarity on how to declutter our homes and our lives. Amen

The Prayers of Black Women: Lord Help Me Make It Safely to Shore

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.  –Corrie Ten Boom

Artist: Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

Lord, I am worried.  And I am [sigh] not alone.  I need for you to minister to my lowly spirit and those that feel the same as I do.  Lord, we need to hear from you.  Make your Holy presence known in giving us signs that everything is going to be alright.  Lord, I’m not sure of the challenges my brothers and sisters in Christ are facing this morning but my challenges for today are:  I have no money to meet the demands of my responsibilities and financial obligations.  And adding to my list of worries last night the stove decided to join the refrigerator and go on the blink.  And my efforts to secure financial stability and generational legacy seem fruitless.  The feeling of defeat is hovering over my head as a continual reminder I am failing as a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and entrepreneur.

Please, Lord, keep the defeatist attitude away.  Please help me and those that feel like me stay positive in the midst of life’s storms.   Become our lighthouse and guide us safely to harbor oh Lord.  Amen

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

The Prayers of Black Women: Prayer For Those That Talk Too Much

The Man With Leprosy
(Luke 5:12-14)

Artist: Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

¹²While Jesus was in one of the town, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”  ¹³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.  “I am willing.” he said.  “Be Clean!”  And immediately the leprosy left him.  14Then Jesus ordered him, “Don’t tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.“

Lord, some people talk too much because they want other’s to hear their “know it all” speeches;  then again some people talk too much because of nerves chatter; and, then, Lord, some people talk too much because of self-absorption.  But this prayer is for those that talk to much because of emotional and mental pain that overflows into their daily conversations.

Lord, help the person that is in emotional or mental pain to see that you enter into their lives everyday.  Lord help them to understand you know their spirits are filled with worries.  Let them know Lord they are no different from the man with leprosy when it comes to your unyielding love for your creation.  Lord, allow them to feel your presence; and gently convey to their spirits that you stand waiting to heal their brokenness.  Lord, give them the words to ask in prayer for guidance and healing as they create a dialogue between you and them.

I am asking for you to do these things Lord because:  I have found those that unwittingly share life experiences have been greatly wounded.  And because of their sorrows I come humbly before your Throne of Grace.  So, once again, Lord, I am asking for divine healing for those that talk too much as they try to ease their emotional and mental pains.  Lord, I ask that they find a true friend in you.  Lord, I pray that you begin to peel the layers of untold anguish from their unconscious minds.  Exposing their raw emotions for what they are as you help them to deal with each heartache privately.  For in lessening their spiritual suffering they can find hope.  And in finding hope they will find wisdom in who to share your blessings among and their tribulations with.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette