Day Eight: Some People Like Being Stuck on Stupid

Photo credit:  Unknown
Photo credit: Unknown

Today I did something foolish. I was driving down the HWY minding my business with a plastic cap on my head (the reason for the cap was I was deep conditioning my hair), and my son needed to be at class before the conditioning was finished.  However, like I was saying I was minding my business when I spotted a car full of Caucasian women riding with the gas-cap flapping in the wind.

So I tried to motion to the driver to look back and see the possible hazard.  Instead she and her passengers thought I was nuts.

So foolish me tried again to get each of their attention (not realizing they were thinking I was nuts).  Instead they began to laugh.  Sadly, since, I could see the potential hazard I didn’t find anything funny.

Then the driver pulls in front of me and slowed down.  So when the opportunity for me to get along side of their car again, I took the opportunity to try to warn them again!  As I was trying to tell these women about the hazard my husband was on the phone.  He finally had enough of me trying to warn the women and said, “Let them figure it out on their own.”

It was foolish of me to think a car full of white women with a Kansas license plate would listen to me, driving a car with a plastic bag over my head and motioning to the trunk of their car.

And though this was about me warning a driving about a potential hazard I find the attentions of all involved most like life.

Life is a HWY.  And sometimes when people can see a possible hazard and try to warn us we avoid all contact with them; because we think their thoughts, comments, and or racial differences are threatening.  When you meet such people you just gotta realize some people like being stuck on stupid!

Why Doesn’t Anyone Return the Kindness of A Smile?

Photographer:  Unknown
Photographer: Unknown

 

 

 

Respect every smile, you never know, it may have managed to make its way through a million tears.  ~Ritu Ghatourey

A couple of days ago I had to quickly run to the grocery store for some packing tape.  I didn’t look like a million dollars but I did have my million dollar smile with me.  It stood ready to present itself to whoever walked in my path.  Yet, once I stepped into the real world I was greeted with scowls and frowns and suddenly my smile quickly began to fade.

Inward chatter:  Jeez!  What’s wrong with the people today!  

A feeling of gloominess swept over me when I looked in their direction.  Sadly, they turned their focus to the floor or their stares went blank as if they had the ability to look through me.  It seems as if the people who had crossed my path the other day didn’t get up on the right-side of the bed.  And guess what?!!!  I refused to let any of them give me a bad day.  Instead, I gave myself positive self-talk and said, “Next!”  Meaning I’m ready for my next life experience.  

Looking back:  

When I was growing up the actions of others made me feel I was in charge of making sure everyone was happy.  If members of my family were having bad days I was the source of their unhappiness.  If friends were socially irritated it was my fault they were having a bad day.

Needless to say, I spent the better part of my youth being a people pleasure.  And sadly that nasty habit followed me into adulthood.

Ritu Ghatourey’s quote is so befitting for my life.  I have walked many days, sat many days, worked most days, arose out of bed every day, prayed every day, lamenting over my stolen life during childhood.

I wonder do people even know how to accept a kind gesture as a smile; because, if I compare what happened to me yesterday, I would be hard-pressed to write, “Yes.”

Down through the years I have learned, whether I act like I have acquired knowledge or not, people will give you bad days because it’s storming in their life.  To their misfortune, they haven’t learned, nor do they want to learn, the art of dancing in the rain.

My smile was free.  And it was a genuine greeting that symbolically gestured peace be with them.  It did not deserve, nor did I, the frowns and scowls in return for a random act of kindness.

So as I see things concerning why some people can’t return smiles is as follows:  A small pocket of people don’t want kindness.  Their little speck of life [stressing little] has become so consumed with bitterness that they don’t know how to project nor accept friendly gestures from others.  I feel those types of people are worse than toxic.  Too me they are laden with acid!  And it’s those types of people I try to keep at a distance because they eat at your soul until nothing is left.

Well, my hour for writing is up.  I must go and pull grass and weeds from my flower beds.  Peace be with you all!

The Prayers of Black Women: Prayer For Those That Talk Too Much

The Man With Leprosy
(Luke 5:12-14)

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

¹²While Jesus was in one of the town, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”  ¹³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.  “I am willing.” he said.  “Be Clean!”  And immediately the leprosy left him.  14Then Jesus ordered him, “Don’t tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.

Lord, some people talk too much because they want other’s to hear their “know it all” speeches;  then again some people talk too much because of nerves chatter; and, then, Lord, some people talk too much because of self-absorption.  But this prayer is for those that talk to much because of emotional and mental pain that overflows into their daily conversations.

Lord, help the person that is in emotional or mental pain to see that you enter into their lives everyday.  Lord help them to understand you know their spirits are filled with worries.  Let them know Lord they are no different from the man with leprosy when it comes to your unyielding love for your creation.  Lord, allow them to feel your presence; and gently convey to their spirits that you stand waiting to heal their brokenness.  Lord, give them the words to ask in prayer for guidance and healing as they create a dialogue between you and them.

I am asking for you to do these things Lord because:  I have found those that unwittingly share life experiences have been greatly wounded.  And because of their sorrows I come humbly before your Throne of Grace.  So, once again, Lord, I am asking for divine healing for those that talk too much as they try to ease their emotional and mental pains.  Lord, I ask that they find a true friend in you.  Lord, I pray that you begin to peel the layers of untold anguish from their unconscious minds.  Exposing their raw emotions for what they are as you help them to deal with each heartache privately.  For in lessening their spiritual suffering they can find hope.  And in finding hope they will find wisdom in who to share your blessings among and their tribulations with.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

The Prayers of Black Women: Become My Friend God

Photo by:  A. A. Harrison
Photo by: A. A. Harrison

Become My Friend God

Become my friend God that I will hope for today and have a promise for tomorrow.
Become my friend God that I will have a shoulder to lean on in my times of sorrow.
Become my friend God that I will have a life supply of happiness to always borrow.

Become my friend God so my days and nights are never lonely.
Become my friend God so I will learn to serve you only.
Become my friend God so I will never be a Christian phony.

Become my friend God so in my daily walk with you I can see life as you do.
Become my friend God so I can learn how to make a healthy pot of spiritual stew.
Become my friend God so I will learn to feed your people like you too!

Become my friend God is all I am asking of you.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

Inspirational Fridays: Listen up! Trent Has Something Wonderful to Say!

Yesterday, for the second time, my friend told me that her ex-husband expressed to her that she could never date and or marry a rich man.  He told her rich men only date and marry women that look like Barbie.  Hum . . . Really!  Whatever!

I told her most rich men are no different from men that are not rich when looking for love.  I assured her only shallow men (rich or otherwise) look at the outer parts of women instead of the beauty they have within.

I gave her words of encouragement as a friend and as a woman.

Any-who-how, after hearing this young man speak about self-love, it occurred to me that my friend is not alone.  Therefore, I’m sharing this video with my readers because I find it so inspirational; and very befitting for “Inspirational Friday’s.”  Enjoy!

Black Women Do Contribute to The Rainbow of Love

Photo Taken From:  www.tumblr.com
Photo Taken From: http://www.tumblr.com

About a week ago on a Facebook page I follow titled “White Men Who Love Their Black Women” the administrator posted the following:

I over heard a conversation among several White women today and they were talking about a couple of girls that didn’t seem threatening to them when it came to getting men or their boyfriends. Within the conversation they mentioned some things that they knew these girls possessed that made them seemingly, “less attractive”. The 1st notable remark that was made was the fact that one of the girls was heavy set—that almost automatically took her out of the game (according to these women). The 2nd comment was that another one of the girls was “universally unattractive” (according to them NO ONE would ever deem her pretty under anyone’s microscope). But the grand finale of a statement that was made that the last girl was Black—yes BLACK—that was why she didn’t pose a threat . These White women seemed to think that their White skin ordained them to be a peck above Black women getting White men just because they were White. My thing is this: I’m good as any girl of any color and I’ll be damned to think that a girl just being White and me being Black would take me away from even being considered an option of a White guy or for that, White men! Questions? Comments?

Due to time restraints I could not make a comment.  So today I sit and write my feelings about the brutal honesty of those that publicly spoke on less threatening women when it comes to them dating and them maintaining marital security.

Love comes in multiple colors with surmountable reasons for loving.  Only shallow people with low self-esteem will build outwardly with bitter words for mortar a false wall of security.  The women gathered at this loathing banquet walked away more empty before they sat to fellowship.  It is clear to see these women are not busy living productive lives.  Surely what they say or think about women they consider less than is irrelevant to the cause of women of color progressing in life, personally and professionally.

Let’s speak truth:  It is not women of color that seek tanning salons to darken their skin.  Our skin tone is a birthright given to all colored women by God genetically.   Subjectively, if I had problems with people of African descent I would never tan.  The process of tanning would be in such a situation as hypocritical.  Because to me non-colored people who have problems with Black people due to darker skin pigmentation are jealous, simple-minded, human beings that should have their mouths tape shut.  I am only speaking about non-colored people who dislike for the sake of disliking and using color as a scapegoat.  IT IS NOT LOGICAL TO TAN WHEN YOU DESPISE OTHER PEOPLE FOR NATURALLY HAVING WHAT YOU PAY TO ACQUIRE!  Such actions provoke the question why are you making your skin the color of those you hate for having it!  

As far as I am concern, I feel all people are beautiful . . .

And Black women do give to the rainbow of love.  The only difference between Blacks and non-colored people are skin pigmentation’s.  Outside of that!  Nothing else is different when it comes to being human.

Sad to write, but unfortunately the White woman who made the harsh comment about Black women was correct based upon social stereotype.  Therefore, at this point what is relevant and not irrelevant is how long it will take Black women to realize we must shift the way people think of us.  We must show others as single people and as a group that we are worth dating and marrying (outside of our brown skin tones).

Women of color we need to change the dating and marring game to our home courts!  We need to learn positive ways to effectively market us as people and a gender race group.  We need to help other Black women that slipped through the cracks of life.  We need to create dating and marring game plans that potential mates can understand; and in doing so we will inspire all men from all walks of life to crossover and play on our team as boyfriends and husbands.  In addition, we need to first seek to understand so we will be understood.

I can only end that dating and marrying should be a personal choice.  How a person arrives to dating this person or that person, and, or, marrying this person or that person again is a personal choice.

In my journey I have learned to cross over and date men from other races.  To me the equipment all works the same despite hearsay!  Laughter!

Have a great day!  And remember Black women really do have it going on!

 

The Black Man’s Country Club

Michael getting ready for his senior photo's.
My son Michael getting a haircut for his senior photo’s.

Initially I was not sure how to speak on The Black Man’s Country Club.  But you can find them in every city, every town, and every state on any corner and probably every country, I’m sure.  For those of you that did not know your local Black barber shop is considered “The Black Man’s Country Club” well . . .  now you know.

It is a place where Black men gather to receive professional haircuts and discuss current and past events.  I tell ya!  I love being among these Black men and talking stuff from a Black woman’s point of view [chuckle].  However, you must earn the right to speak among your captive audience.   So enter if you dare to venture women of color in “The Black Man’s Country Club” but do not look for a date.  Your presence in the establishment should be a desire to fellowship with men you have something in common.  Being Black in America!  And I can guarantee you; you will have the time of your life.

I’m being honest and real when I write, “do not look for a date.”  Again, these men are there to get haircuts and discuss sports, local, national and global issue from a Black man’s point of view.  Every now and then, if they have cultivated a friend relationship with a woman or women, they will discuss man/woman interactions; but they really do stick to discussing current and past events. Remember, they are not looking to be pick-up, hit-on and carried out like a sack of potatoes by desperate women.

And if you are going to stop by “The Black Man’s Country Club” take a young Black male with you.  There is always a little boy in need of a haircut, perhaps it is your son, your nephew, your cousin, an extended family member, a church member or a neighborhood kid.  It doesn’t matter who the kid is.  It doesn’t matter if his parents are misusing monies they should spend on him getting a haircut.  The importance is you making a difference in this young Black life.

It is nice when you watch the camaraderie among Black positive men; it is even nicer when they extend the right hand of fellowship to young Black men; so taking a young Black boy to a place where there are influential men of color is a good thing.  And the deed done could be the act that changes a child’s life for the rest of his life because after all we were created to make a difference.

Remember:  Black women have it going on!