Day 2: No Social Media

Yesterday the struggle was real!  OMG!  I can not believe I was having withdrawals from being on Facebook.  Today is a little better but I still have urges to log into my social media account to see what is currently happening in my friends, family, loved ones and the world.  But!  I’m not going to give into my desire.  Instead, I’m committing to cleaning my kitchen and eradicating my emotions from the baggage of others.

How You Made Them FeelAs God would have it I was faced with choices concerning my torn relationship with my grand daughter.  She sees me as a negative in her life and never a friend or a person that cares deeply for her and her outcome.  My truth telling has hurt her beyond her ability to see logic.  As a result, she tell private things about me in order to gain some type of satisfaction in shaming me before others.  As if shaming me will fix what really ills her soul.  Well any who how . . . . She has drawn her line in the sand and set her boundaries.  They are loud and clear.  I must and will respect them.  With that stated, I don’t think she realize once she made her choices her decisions created choices for me.

I wish her well.  At the moment their can never be a point return.  Sometimes you must cut the cancer out in order for the body to survive.

The Prayer’s of Black Women: Sad and Lonely

Artist: Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.  Matthew 6:9 – 13

Heavenly Father thank you for this day we have never seen before.  Father God it’s Sunday!  Someone will wake up sad because they are lonely.  Can you please give them your joy by filling their hearts and minds with your perfect love and perfect peace.  Amen

Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self: Destiny’s Darlings

Photo Taken From:  www.usatoday.com
Photo Taken From: http://www.usatoday.com

Sometimes it seems there are just two types of women.  There are destiny’s darlings, those lucky ones sent into the world prepared and primed for this lifetime — born knowing their destiny.  you hear about such women; they always knew they were meant to create, to lead, to mend broken lives or broken bones; to perform, to teach, to guide a thoroughbred to a first-place finish.

Sometimes I wonder if I was born to be a “destiny’s darlings” and life events redirected my choices and I became one of those women Sarah described as “doomed from our kindergarten report cards to go stumbling toward our destiny.  Often unfocused and fidgety.  Tendency to stare dreamily into space.  Side-tracked and scattered.  Stubborn!  Too sensitive for her own good; feelings easily hurt.  However, plays nicely with others.”

As I reflect on a conversation with a young woman I’m in agreeance with Sarah “We’d love to think that our life’s journey is linear, but we stumble in fits and starts on our way to authenticity.”

I’m afraid too many people, including myself, look to others for success proof answers to living a life that only we can design.

Day Fifteen: My Hubby Says I’m An A Type Personality

This is Jeff. He loves to laugh. He thought me being afraid of going across the Royal Gorge Bridge was too funny.

He thought he was being cute!  But!  Whatever!  Jeff!  What the hell ever!  LOL’s!

Jeff and I got on the topic of my personality, last Sunday, as I was clipping coupons and organizing my coupon binders.  His description of me helped me understand why I never got along with a lot of my family members.

But!  Yes!  You read correctly.  I have coupon binders.  That means I have more than one binder.  As a matter of fact I have three binders.  And, honestly, I need a fourth binder.  But I’m trying to keep my coupons in three binders for now.

However, learning about my personality was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.  I was glad to hear someone describe my personality, because for years I thought there was something wrong with me.  For years I tried to fit in molds others had created for me.  And for years as I tried to live as others would have me I was so very unhappy.

I’m happy to be an A type personality.  And if others don’t like me because of my personality then they can take a long walk off a short pier.

Day Thirteen: A Den of Snakes

Photo Taken From:  Winnipeg Free Press
Photo Taken From: Winnipeg Free Press

This morning I woke to a spiritual headache.  I was so angry with a loved one.  They had asked for my help and did not take my advice.  Thus, causing them to suffer even more at the hands of those I deemed as snakes.

In my frustration I called a friend.  Before she could tell me anything I was complaining about the situation.

I wanted to cry.  I thought I needed to cry.  But I could not cry.  I told my friend “When you are in a den of snakes you walk carefully.  You don’t want to step on a snake because they can bite you.”

My friend listened.  She was patient despite her hunger.  She had just gotten out of bed and was just starting her day.

My friend is one of those people who makes her bed before she leaves her room.  She’s a person that takes her shower in the morning as soon as her feet hit the floor.  And!  Yes!  She’s one of those people who gets dress for the day.  Afterwards, she makes herself a cup of coffee, a small breakfast and begins cooking dinner.  By noon day she has finished all her chores and dinner is ready long before evening mealtime.  So my early morning call truly interrupted her schedule; and for that I’m sorry I allowed my emotions to get away from me.

As I vented I realized my intense mood.  Then my friend said, “We’re not going to think like that.  Don’t think like that.”  And the next thing I knew my mood changed for the better.  I was calm.  My negative thoughts were veering towards positive thoughts.  I was happy again.  And, as a result, I was open to God and the Universe.  My openness brought forth the below fruit of wisdom:

Snakes are sometimes perceived as evil, but they are also perceived as medicine.  If you look at an ambulance, there’s the two snakes on the side of the ambulance.  The caduceus, or the staff of Hermes, there’s the two snakes going up it, which means that the venom can also be healing.  —Nicolas Cage

 

Day Twelve: Some People Should Kick Rocks

KIck RocksI first heard the saying “kick rocks” from my husband.  He had gotten upset on several occasions with one of his family members.  Later he would say, “They can go and kick rocks.”  Not wanting to appear ignorant I never asked what the expression meant.  Yet from time to time I would use the saying in similar situations.

The other day I posted something on Facebook about me learning of Jodi Arias and a friend commented “Thanks for keeping us updated! Would not wanna b out the loop on this, lol.”  I tried to play the comment off as a jokingly jester but truthfully I wanted to tell him to go “F” himself.  And had I known the truest meaning for ‘kick rocks’ I would have put the saying as my response.

According to the Urban Dictionary telling someone to go and “kick rocks” has several meanings.  And even though there were three meanings each contained basically the same connotations.  Apparently telling someone to go and kick rocks mean “fuck off.”

 

Day Eleven: Learning to Forgive Yourself

Self Worth Nearly 35 years ago I made a choice that would change my life forever.  As an inexperience teenager I made an adult decision to become a parent.  And without realizing I had cultivated a strong discontent for my youthful choice I never forgive the girl within for making such a decision.

Day Ten: She Was Not A Good Looking Woman

Loving Yourself QuotesA couple of days ago I was in the grocery store.  And!  Yes!  I was couponing BIG FASHION!  When I saw this guy from when I was young.  I first met him through my step-brother.  During that time they belonged to a local dance group.  Well anywhohow, the man looked at me as if he was trying to place my face as his wife caught my mutual gaze.  Rudely, I kept staring with amazement!

I know I should have cared and turned my focus elsewhere.  But the ugliness of his wife would not let me stop gawking!  I truly could not help myself!  Thoughts of days gone by were flooding my mind as my eyes thought someone was playing a trick on me.

I was in shock!  Absolute shock!  And then my mind finally settled and whispered, “He ended up with that!”

Moral of this story:

I had such a crush on that guy but he didn’t like me [sad face]!  And as a young woman back then rejection made me feel extremely ugly.  So, to my dismay, I took the rejections of young men to heart.  Sadly and eventually, I told myself I was ugly and my wounded spirit believed me.  Regrettably, as a young woman I lived a life of not expecting good things; because, again, I thought I was ugly and unworthy of love.

When I saw the now older guy’s wife, and once the shock of what he married quickly wore off, I was reminded of an old cliché “beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder!”

Therefore, my message to young men and women is this :  Never take to heart another person’s rejection when seeking romance, love, friendship and lasting relationships.  There is someone for everyone.  There are friends to be made and friendships to end.  There is love and forever loved.  Be patient!  Live your life!  Enjoy your life!  You only come this way once!  It would be a waste of your life to walk with your spiritual head flopping all over the place because someone rejected you.  Rejection is a part of life and it is a very healthy part of growing.

Day Nine: Who Doesn’t Like Free Money?

I got these product for FREE!

Silly people don’t like free money!

Recently, I’ve been using coupons to buy items.  And since my money-saving announcement, I’ve gotten all kinds of flack from folks.  I’ve heard such things as “why would you do that” or “you’re wasting your time” and “I can’t stand people who use coupons.”

At first the unsupportive statements made me feel shameful and gave me a spirit to quit.  Then one day I went shopping in an all white community.  And as I was looking at a product trying to figure out if it would be worth purchasing then a man stopped in front of me.  He said, “Wow!  Look at your book!  I bet you are going to save a ton of money!  You are so organized!  I’m not even that organized!” [I wasn’t sure what to think about his last comment.  lol.]  But it was clear to see the white man approved of my strategy to save money by using the money hundreds of companies give to couponers.  Honestly, it was his comments and a few more comments from white people who made me realize coupons are FREE money.

Anywhohow, because I was willing to give L’Oreal products a try I got their shampoo and conditioner for free!  And it normally sells for 5 dollars and some change.

This is my friend Robin.  Her hair is so healthy!
This is my friend Robin. Her hair is so healthy!  And for a couple of months she washed and conditioned my damage hair.  She stopped the breakage and now my hair is filling in with healthier hair.  I’m glad she took the time to help me learn about hair, and especially about my hair.

Now mind you some black people might think only black hair care products are good for their hair; thus, making them loyal to products that state it’s for black hair only.  But it was a good friend that enlighten me to try hair-care products for non-black folks.  Her hair is her testimony!  It’s long!  It’s healthy!  And it looks really good!  And with the exception of hair relaxers for black folks she doesn’t use just black hair care products to keep her hair healthy.  And with her in mind I carefully selected products she states black hair need for continual growth.

So the shampoos and conditioners I selected are in the first photo of my post.  As you can see L’Oreal claims their product reinforces hair strands and nourishes the hair.

I’m excited to see how my new shampoos and conditioners work on my hair and look forwards to sharing the results with you.

Ooh!  And the money I saved can go towards paying an overdue bill.