I’m a person that do not like to ask people for favors. And I really become leery when others offer to help me. My feelings aren’t because I’m too proud or I have problem with accepting help. It’s just down through the years other’s expected more of me than they gave and request more of me than I was usually willing to give. So, now, if I can’t get a task done then it goes pretty much undone. At least until I figure out how to do it myself since I want to avoid the depressing feelings of being used.
Yesterday, I worked without stopping. As a matter of fact, I didn’t take my normal breaks that come with my usual lame excuses. I was truly on fire! Yeah! [Chuckle] I know! I just thought about Alicia Keys’ song “This Girl is On Fire” also.
Gosh, I hope I don’t have that song playing in my head all day. Not that I don’t like it . . . But I just don’t want it playing in my head all day! You know what I mean! I hope I didn’t cause you to start singing ‘This Girl is On Fire’ in your mind either. Laughter! Well back to the subject at hand.
I woke up early this morning but I didn’t rise early but I stayed in bed. I watched a movie I would have never watched had I not had the blues. Truth is I didn’t know I had the blues. It’s been with me for so long that I feel my temporary sad state on Monday mornings is the norm.
Honestly, I just thought I was struggling with a mild case of depression. But what is truly happening is my soul is lamenting over a loss or in my case losses. And when I lost whatever meant so much to me I didn’t mentally and emotionally process the situation(s) to satisfy my soul’s thirst to be spiritually feed. I didn’t supplement things needed for my hungry soul to feel feed in wholeness.
So this morning as I waited for the feelings of sadness to leave I laid in bed and watched a movie that added to my sadness. I wonder how many other people lay in bed on Monday morning. I wonder how many people are faced with sadness of yesterday. I wonder do they realize they have the power to change things for the better despite missed opportunities. I wonder do they ever try to go within their wounded souls and hug the person that loves them.
Until today I never realized why I am sad on Monday mornings. I was once told by a dear and old friend, “Once you know something it gives you power to make changes.” Therefore, the change I am making now is my attitude. I am going to search for reasons within me, all day, about why I should be happy oppose to why I should allow my soul to continue to lament over missed opportunities.
For after all I am blessed and there is no one in my life that I would want to change places with.
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. –Corrie Ten Boom
Lord, I am worried. And I am [sigh] not alone. I need for you to minister to my lowly spirit and those that feel the same as I do. Lord, we need to hear from you. Make your Holy presence known in giving us signs that everything is going to be alright. Lord, I’m not sure of the challenges my brothers and sisters in Christ are facing this morning but my challenges for today are: I have no money to meet the demands of my responsibilities and financial obligations. And adding to my list of worries last night the stove decided to join the refrigerator and go on the blink. And my efforts to secure financial stability and generational legacy seem fruitless. The feeling of defeat is hovering over my head as a continual reminder I am failing as a daughter, sister, mother, wife, and entrepreneur.
Please, Lord, keep the defeatist attitude away. Please help me and those that feel like me stay positive in the midst of life’s storms. Become our lighthouse and guide us safely to harbor oh Lord. Amen
Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~HARLAN MILLER
I am not in a happy mood when it comes to my marriage, therefore, I would be a Praying Mantis! Why would I want to be a Praying Mantis? Well for starters they are very beneficial to the planet; and another reason is 15% of the time they eat their mates. Now mind you I’m not into cannibalism but this is a morning when I’m asking myself why am I married.
With that written, I would like to ask you what insect would best describe your mood today?