Day 1: No Facebook

Social media has not only taken the world by storm but it is creating storms in everyday life.  From where I sit as a Facebook junkie, social media has moved from a tool to connect people to a place where people alternate between the roles of being pimps and whores seeking praise from the majority of readers.  As a result, the effort to being popular is producing negative affects that quietly impacts towns, cities, states, countries and sometimes the world.

Not until recently did I learn that Facebook track where their users go and how often they visit those sites.  The news was an eyebrow raising moment and was followed by an “hum.”

That’s when I realize social media’s presence is far more destructive than a category 5 hurricane or a F-5 tornado all because someone wants the metaphorically reach the moon first, and I was playing my part in them getting there.

Like everyone else I enjoyed having platforms to share knowledge and or thoughts.  So, as a result, being heard has become a seductive aspect of social media and a tool for the creators to land on the moon with no regards to the people they exploit.

Loving Yourself QuotesThis is truly day one of no Facebook.  The struggle with dealing with the withdraws is real but I love myself enough to overcome the challenge.  God’s speed to all!

Just a Personal Note to Black Women

Photo credit:  Artis Photography
Photo credit: Artis Photography

Have you ever searched Google for quotes on entrepreneurship?  I do.  And afterwards I select images looking for photos with quotes to share.  However, sadly, I think I’ve only seen one quote by a black female.  One!  Oh!  My!  Just one!  Successful black women noted for her words of inspiration and business achievements!  Come on!  I know there’s more black women that own businesses.  So this is a year I’m going to search and find black female business owners and ask them about their source of motivation and inspiration.  Wish me luck!  And if you know of a black female business owner please share.   –Annette

Quote for Today: Embracing Change

Photo credit:  www.akieleinc.com
Photo credit: http://www.akieleinc.com

 

 

In every crisis there is a message.  Crises are nature’s way of forcing change — breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place.— Susan L. Taylor

Prayers of Black Women: Lord Teach Me How to Write

The Little Red Writing BookAll week-long I have asked God to teach me how to write.  Writing well is such an essential part of communicating effectively.  And I wish to communicate without feeling less than.

Well-any-who-how, a couple of days ago I felt guilty, again, for spending too much time on Facebook.  So, today I prayed for the Lord to help me make better use of my time.  He quickly answered my prayer!  But what I didn’t know is that He was going to make this a treasure trove day full of blessings.

What seemed as meaningless chores became nothing but inspirational moments.

As I pulled weeds and grass from flowerbeds God was spiritually blessing me.  He was giving me answers to questions I had long forgotten.  I wanted to stop my gardening chores and run in the house to grab pen and paper to write what I had learned.  But something within said, “Don’t stop!  Keep going!  Because if you stop you will not return.  Set a goal and complete that goal.”

I did everything that was shouting from within and found my hour of gardening more refreshing for my soul than the long days I have worked in my yard.

But the motivational and inspirational blessings kept coming as I entered my home and proceeded to do housework.  I would venture to write the greatest blessing for today was finding a little red book.  I would have never found it had I not been rearranging books on the bookshelves.  It was tucked underneath books I have meant to read for a year now.  The titled “The Little Red Writing Book.”

I can only assume it was a college text for one of my sons.  They seem to throw their books here and there once they’ve passed whatever class.  I, however, seem to cherish books.  So, I walk behind them picking up their discarded books and place them on my bookshelves.

I was happy to discover such a fine.  I feel like the book was indeed sent to me by God.  And He used one of my son’s to deliver it to me.  His actions answered a prayer that lay deep within my subconscious for decades; as my wish was finally whispered a few days ago.

— Prayer —

Lord, thank you for my little red book.  Please help me to understand its content.  I will cherish it always.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

Old School Wisdom: A Lady Never Kisses and Tells

Photo taken from:  The Queen Bee of Bees
Photo taken from: The Queen Bee of Bees

Please do not ask me why but I belong to a group where white men and black women search for interracial love.  And, yes, I am married, so please don’t add more to my belonging to this group other than:  I joined for nostalgic reasons.  My husband knows I am associated with the group and he is okay with me being a member.  But my blog post today is not about why I joined such a group.  Actually the subject is more in line with  “A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.”

A couple of weeks ago I noticed the group heating up with activity.  So one day I zipped cyberly into the room where I quietly watched the dialogues between the sexes.

After a young woman had blown the cover of a married man he started calling all the women in the group “hoes.”  And the unconventional responses from the young women failed to put the disrespectful young man in his proper place; therefore, he became more abusive because he knew he was saying things that upset the women.  Sadly the administrator(s) of the group supported this young man’s abrasive behavior.  Especially since he/she/they did not temporarily or permanently remove him from the community.  So, me, as an old schooler sitting and watching the conversation unfold witness rejection at its worse and low self-esteem at its peak.  But what bugged me most was the following question asked by another man within the group:

Lets talk about blowjobs. What are your thoughts, feelings, opinions and knowledge on the subject?

When I told my husband I had a problem with the question my husband said, “You got a problem with that question?  With all the other [implicated deleted] going on and you got a problem with that question?”  Regrettably, I must confess my husband in private spoke like a true man!  Ugh!

Oh!  But my hubby didn’t stop with the above [not so funny] statements he then continued his humor by saying, “He was running a primary election trying to find the right candidate.  He was being Democratic.”

It’s obvious my husband finds the question humorous while I’m totally offended by it.  For the record, I am not a prude but, I am a person that believes ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.’  And I felt any woman who responded to the question would be foolish!  Because the question was posed to scout-out desperate naïve women that would be willing to do anything of a sexual nature for a chance at love.

However, there is one thing my husband and I both agree on, and that is “the guy was trying to fill a job position.”  And every women that answered his question was possibly considered for the job.

Word to the young:

If an acquaintance is willing to discuss sexual preference before they cultivate a meaningful and lasting relationship with you, then they are looking to satisfy their sexual appetite and any person will do!  Don’t you be that any person unless you are looking to be a one-night stand! And even when a woman has a one night-stand she holds true to ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells’!

     

The Prayers of Black Women: Prayer For Those That Talk Too Much

The Man With Leprosy
(Luke 5:12-14)

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

¹²While Jesus was in one of the town, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”  ¹³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.  “I am willing.” he said.  “Be Clean!”  And immediately the leprosy left him.  14Then Jesus ordered him, “Don’t tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.

Lord, some people talk too much because they want other’s to hear their “know it all” speeches;  then again some people talk too much because of nerves chatter; and, then, Lord, some people talk too much because of self-absorption.  But this prayer is for those that talk to much because of emotional and mental pain that overflows into their daily conversations.

Lord, help the person that is in emotional or mental pain to see that you enter into their lives everyday.  Lord help them to understand you know their spirits are filled with worries.  Let them know Lord they are no different from the man with leprosy when it comes to your unyielding love for your creation.  Lord, allow them to feel your presence; and gently convey to their spirits that you stand waiting to heal their brokenness.  Lord, give them the words to ask in prayer for guidance and healing as they create a dialogue between you and them.

I am asking for you to do these things Lord because:  I have found those that unwittingly share life experiences have been greatly wounded.  And because of their sorrows I come humbly before your Throne of Grace.  So, once again, Lord, I am asking for divine healing for those that talk too much as they try to ease their emotional and mental pains.  Lord, I ask that they find a true friend in you.  Lord, I pray that you begin to peel the layers of untold anguish from their unconscious minds.  Exposing their raw emotions for what they are as you help them to deal with each heartache privately.  For in lessening their spiritual suffering they can find hope.  And in finding hope they will find wisdom in who to share your blessings among and their tribulations with.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

Congrats to the De Blasio Family

Photo taken from:  The Washington Post
Photo taken from: The Washington Post

It is wonderful to see another woman of color maintaining marital status as her hubby becomes a “mover and a shaker.”

As I looked upon the picture showing NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his family, I became instantly proud.  Their family photo of political triumph says a thousand words.

I believe most can find a reason why this family collectively, and as individuals, will make great ambassadors for New York City.  And adding icing to the cake, for me, is the fact that Mr. De Blasio is taking two lovely black women with him on his political journey.

Hip hip hooray!

Furthermore, it’s wonderful to see his wife Chirlane McCray is also a successful woman in her own craft.  And if I was still young “I would love to be like her when I grow up.”

In her interview with Huffington Post, Chirlane McCray is grateful, graceful and strong in convictions about her life experiences.  I guess, many people feel she will be a great advocate for the black community as well as the gay and lesbian communities.  But, be that as it may, I did find it funny neither woman mentioned within the interview how Chirlane McCray’s life successes will impact the world’s view about black woman.

Though I thought the interview went well, again, I did noticed black women as a group being left out among those that are considered less fortunate.  And, once again, black women were thrown into groups that have struggled for centuries for equality on many levels.

Yet, society fails to realize black men and black women have been methodically segregated due to social acceptance.  Thus, forcing black women to become a group outside of an oppressed race; and giving birth to black women searching for social acceptance without ties to black men.

For me, Chirlane’s successes are and will be pivotal moments for her and those she represent; because after all, black women are considered the lowest on the social totem pole for dating and marrying.  And in the year 2013 an interracial couple seems to be slaying the put-down comments of black women yesteryear relationship taboos.

Oh, I’m sure the interviewer and Chirlane McCray did not intend to leave black women out as a struggling group for social acceptance; but it is such a natural response to look over black women in an acceptable way.  After all black women have been pushed underneath the social carpet as unlovable and uneducated.

Sometimes society makes me personally feel most are saying, “if we ignore them they will go away.”  Therefore, as black women we must make considerable efforts to remember black women along our successful journeys; as we gently say in our personal and professional achievements that black women are here to stay.  However, it is moments like Mr. and Mrs. De Blasio’s public triumphs that clearly say black women truly do have it going on.

So, once more, congrats to NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his lovely family for their political win.

Just a Personal Note to ‘Sleepless In Austin’ From A Black Woman

Photo taken from:  www.iluvblackpeople.com
Photo taken from: http://www.iluvblackpeople.com

WE ALL HAVE GLITCHES AND FLAWS IN OUR CHARACTER… Not one of us is perfect.  — RICK RENNER

Larry, I don’t even know where to start this personal message to you about your negative comments towards black people, overweight women, people who have tattoos, and sexual preferences.

Therefore, I guess I will begin with your blog comments about black women and black people.  (As a personal side note, actually as a black woman I thought your race specific comments were hysterically funny!  I don’t agree with them but I do think they were funny.  And I do mean they were entertaining).

I hate to bust your bubble but your words were not shocking.  I have heard some black people privately state the same about white people, and so forth and so on.  So when you openly expressed your thoughts on why you don’t date black women, or white women that have dated black men, I was not in shock.  Mainly, because, as quite as it has been kept there are people from every race, class, and creed that feel the same as you.  And sad to write, I was once among those people who felt races should not mix.

Therefore, I’m writing, “You go boy!”  You took courage by the tail of ignorance and put your person in the line of social-fire!  Gosh!  Dude!  What the heck were you thinking when you created your website looking for love!

I’m sure your lack of intimacy with a woman that loves being with you speared you on to create a blog that makes you looks like a total jerk-face to a lot of people.  Surprisingly, as a woman of color, I see you totally different.  I see you as a man that wrote what he felt to find conditional love.  And it didn’t matter to you the feelings you publicly and socially hurt in the process, as long as you got the woman of your dreams.  Right.

Larry,

  • It’s okay that you don’t find black women physically attractive.
  • It’s okay to say you think black people are disgusting to look upon.
  • It’s okay to say black people look like animals.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has slept with black men.
  • It’s okay to say races should not mix.
  • It’s okay to say you like everything pink on your mate.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want an overweight woman.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has tattoos.
  • It’s okay to call certain types of white people trash.
  • It is even okay to express you don’t want a woman who has engaged in group sex.
  • And it’s okay to date women without children.

Personally, I don’t agree with your views.  I believe every person should live and let live (as why I didn’t and don’t take your comments about black women and black people to heart).

But the problem came once you publicly stated those things in search of conditional love.  Most people, especially a successful business person, with an ounce of social decorum would have posted the positive attributes of what they’re looking for in a mate.  Later within a private setting they would discard names, emails, and phone numbers of those that didn’t fit their criteria.  Do you get the picture!

Instead, you wrote racial propaganda about why you do not date black women; and supported your views by stating non-blacks should not mix the races if it involves black people.   Larry, your shallow statement “I think that all races were created equal” was an afterthought to soften the blow of your inhumane statements on people of color.

Don’t back down now man . . . tell the world how you truly feel about black folks!

Larry!  Hello!  What planet are you from!  What planet are you living on!  And how can you look at yourself in the mirror every day with your extreme racial views and say you are not a racist.  Shakespeare once wrote, “This above all:  to thine own self be true.”  Larry, I hate to break the news to you buddy but your statements are racial; thus, painting you as a racist.  And anyone telling you otherwise is blowing smoke up your heinie.  Laughter!

Larry, as a woman of color, I truly wish you all the best in finding the woman you feel you deserve.  And remember . . .

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ~Mark Twain