Always Seek Knowledge and Truth

warm coffee drink
Photo by Daria Obymaha on Pexels.com

Good morning!  On April 17, 2013 @ 2:16 pm, I wrote this blog post.  Again, seven years later I’m posting another thought because I’ve learned I’m enough.  Good writer or bad writer, I’m enough and I matter.  

I want to share with you something I heard and learned sitting among Black men in “The Black Man’s Country Club.”

I had taken my son’s in for their haircuts.  I was the only woman in the barbershop.

The men were in a heated discussion.  Then this man spouted the following words:  “If you don’t want Black people to know then put it in a book.”  His words fell on my attentive ears like a star falling from the sky and hitting Earth with a full explosive impact!

My inward response was “What!”

So without showing I was offended I asked the gentleman to expound on his statement.  His response clearly showed he was an educated man.  He had no problems unpacking his statement.

He told me when he was young his dad told him that statement.  He went on to say that Black people fail to read on average.  He felt we fail to teach give our children the gift of reading.

Based upon my experience as a substitute teacher I knew he was correct without facts.  And more so, I was dumbfounded by his statement and response because he openly discussed the issue of illiteracy among Blacks in a public setting.

And!  Get this!  The Black brothers that were able to join in the conversation was added to his statement!  It was then I realized I had lived a sheltered life.

Let’s just say his willingness to discuss a problem that has kept Blacks from advancing was stimulating.  I love good conversation   I don’t mind discussing any subject including politics, race, religion and etc.  I have learned and continue to learn if you don’t know how to have healthy discussions on subjects pertaining to the advancement of humanity then you can’t be an effective mover or shaker; and if you’re not an effective mover or shaker then you really can’t make a difference, and if you can’t make a difference then you are wasting the life God purposely gave you!  Therefore, my sisters I challenge you to take yourselves and a loved one or a kid that has latched onto you to your local library.  Expand your knowledge on many subjects.

I have found most times when people get loud during conversations it is because they feel they are loosing their argument or the ability to sway a person to feel about a subject they are passionate concerning.  And most of all, because Black women have not been taught to defend their arguments; therefore, they are afraid to engage in a heated debates especially when it concerns them.

So in conclusion, women of color let us get the party started for our gender group to advance and show the world “Black Women Have It Going On” by learning new subjects, increasing our vocabulary, learning how to pronounce words correctly, learning how to effectively write,  learning how to argue our points of interest and overcoming fears on what other’s think or say about us as people, a gender group, and part of a race!

Just a Personal Note to Black Women

Photo credit:  Artis Photography
Photo credit: Artis Photography

Have you ever searched Google for quotes on entrepreneurship?  I do.  And afterwards I select images looking for photos with quotes to share.  However, sadly, I think I’ve only seen one quote by a black female.  One!  Oh!  My!  Just one!  Successful black women noted for her words of inspiration and business achievements!  Come on!  I know there’s more black women that own businesses.  So this is a year I’m going to search and find black female business owners and ask them about their source of motivation and inspiration.  Wish me luck!  And if you know of a black female business owner please share.   –Annette

Throwback Thursdays: Barbara Billingsley on Jive Talking

Well I learned something new today!  

I learned that most black people speak Jive.  This coded language that has unified American black people for decades is now called slang.  So far Jive remains unrecognized by most as a survival language that is mostly spoken among blacks.  The funny thing is Jive is a language that has been passed down from generation to generation despite educational successes within the black community.  Yet, society continues to equate this language with ignorance.  When in fact Jive is probably the first unity language created in America.  

Thou I try to remove the jargon from my vocabulary I must admit it makes me feel whole when I am with other blacks.  Honestly, knowing slang/Jive helps me to contact to a group or race of people who are rejected by society.  And perhaps that’s why so many young men and women from other races try to learn it.  

Maybe the young got it!  Maybe they realize Jive is a unity language that connects dislocated people.  I’m just sayin’ . . . maybe all young people feel dislocated in some fashion.  So to connect they speak slang.  Hum . . .           

 

Vocabulary Mondays – trust

cybersexNow . . . I realize everyone online is not searching for cyber sex; but the dialog between the two cartoon characters renders the actions of a percentage of lonely people, a percentage of people who are predators, and a percentage of people who enjoy tormenting others to feel better about their life failures.  And out of the three those that are lonely will push aside everything instinctively that keeps a person safe for the sake of having companionship.  Thus ignoring the red flags, as they give unearned trust to people who could do harm to them and those they love.

Therefore, since a few people have forgotten the meaning for “trust” I have selected it for today’s Vocabulary Mondays word.  In hope this blog post find its way to those that need reminders to stay safe when playing online with others.  Because in all honesty no one knows who or what they are truly conversing with on the internet .  And sadly so many people are forgetting the internet is the number one tool for predators to find their victims.  Remember:

“Trust is earned not given”

Word:  trust

Part of Speech:  noun belief in something as true, trustworthynoun responsibility, custodynoun large company, verb believe, place confidence in,  verb give to for safekeeping

Meaning(s):

noun

  1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

 

Vocabulary Mondays – thug

Photo taken from:  http://www.columbia.edu
Photo taken from: http://www.columbia.edu

It seems the negative word thug is always used to misrepresent the entire African American, Negro, or black communities. Honestly, people who distort racial integrity by misguiding readers, viewers, and listeners are worse than those they are writing or talking about.  Such viewpoints are transparent as they are criminal acts of spreading hate.

As a humanitarian I find hate served on any platform detestable and a waste of time.  So, therefore, today my vocabulary word is “thug” because I object to the ignorance of those that use it improperly.  And it is such ignorance that keeps hate alive.  And in keeping hate alive it becomes an avenue for exploitation by discriminatory acts when negative words are used to describe others by race, age, disability, ethnic, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and etc. Despite the worlds gratifying social exposure of discovering people are people, a pocket of people continue hate cycles for the sake of personal gain.

Word:  thug

Part of Speech:  noun

Meaning(s):

  1. a cruel or vicious ruffian, robber, or murderer.
  2. (sometimes initial capital letter) one of a former group of professional robbers and murderers in India who strangled their victims.

Origin and History:

Last night I watched a History Channel special on the movie series Indiana Jones. The purpose of the show was to separate fact from fiction as it relates to the movie. While watching the show I was introduced to origin of the word “Thug”. When you think of a thug what image comes to mind? Is it a Black or Brown man? Is he iced out with diamonds and wearing baggy pants? Most people think of a thug as living in a poverty stricken urban area ( Ghetto) in the United states. The origin of the word “Thug” couldn’t be farther from its present meaning. The word Thug originates from an 800 year old cult called Thuggee in India. Thuggee were known for befriending travelers and killing them with the ultimate intention of robbing them. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, this cult is responsible for the death of 2 million unsuspecting travelers.

So the question arises, ” How did we get from Thuggee to thug?” The Indian Cult and its practices were popularized and introduced to main stream Western Culture through books such as Confessions of a Thug by Philip Meadows Taylor (1839). Thuggee was also popularized by British Culture as Great Britain Ruled India from 1858 to 1947. In a way it bothers me that such a negative word like thug is largely associated with Blacks when it should be associated with Indians. How is it that we get the bad rap when they’ve been “thuggin” for 800 years! If we’re going to play the name game then we need to call prostitutes Geisha Girls! If there are any words that you can think of that are unfairly associated with your or someone else’s culture, please feel free to comment.
Ya Basta,
Malcolm

The Prayers of Black Women: Prayer For Those That Talk Too Much

The Man With Leprosy
(Luke 5:12-14)

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

¹²While Jesus was in one of the town, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.  When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”  ¹³Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man.  “I am willing.” he said.  “Be Clean!”  And immediately the leprosy left him.  14Then Jesus ordered him, “Don’t tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.

Lord, some people talk too much because they want other’s to hear their “know it all” speeches;  then again some people talk too much because of nerves chatter; and, then, Lord, some people talk too much because of self-absorption.  But this prayer is for those that talk to much because of emotional and mental pain that overflows into their daily conversations.

Lord, help the person that is in emotional or mental pain to see that you enter into their lives everyday.  Lord help them to understand you know their spirits are filled with worries.  Let them know Lord they are no different from the man with leprosy when it comes to your unyielding love for your creation.  Lord, allow them to feel your presence; and gently convey to their spirits that you stand waiting to heal their brokenness.  Lord, give them the words to ask in prayer for guidance and healing as they create a dialogue between you and them.

I am asking for you to do these things Lord because:  I have found those that unwittingly share life experiences have been greatly wounded.  And because of their sorrows I come humbly before your Throne of Grace.  So, once again, Lord, I am asking for divine healing for those that talk too much as they try to ease their emotional and mental pains.  Lord, I ask that they find a true friend in you.  Lord, I pray that you begin to peel the layers of untold anguish from their unconscious minds.  Exposing their raw emotions for what they are as you help them to deal with each heartache privately.  For in lessening their spiritual suffering they can find hope.  And in finding hope they will find wisdom in who to share your blessings among and their tribulations with.

Your Loving Daughter,
Annette

Saturday Funnies: Key & Peele “Black Republicans”

It’s not a secret among my family and friends that I am a black Republican.  Most black people who are Democrats ask me, “What the hell are you thinking?”  And as usual I respond with laughter as they stand there ready to aggressively argue politically.  Sadly they forget I have the same freedoms as they to choose whatever.   However, this morning a friend sent me this video via email.  I thought it was priceless and filled with humor.  And I enjoyed the video for so many reasons.  My only hope in sharing this video is that others will see the humor in political nitpicking.  Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!  –Annette

 

Just a Personal Note to ‘Sleepless In Austin’ From A Black Woman

Photo taken from:  www.iluvblackpeople.com
Photo taken from: http://www.iluvblackpeople.com

WE ALL HAVE GLITCHES AND FLAWS IN OUR CHARACTER… Not one of us is perfect.  — RICK RENNER

Larry, I don’t even know where to start this personal message to you about your negative comments towards black people, overweight women, people who have tattoos, and sexual preferences.

Therefore, I guess I will begin with your blog comments about black women and black people.  (As a personal side note, actually as a black woman I thought your race specific comments were hysterically funny!  I don’t agree with them but I do think they were funny.  And I do mean they were entertaining).

I hate to bust your bubble but your words were not shocking.  I have heard some black people privately state the same about white people, and so forth and so on.  So when you openly expressed your thoughts on why you don’t date black women, or white women that have dated black men, I was not in shock.  Mainly, because, as quite as it has been kept there are people from every race, class, and creed that feel the same as you.  And sad to write, I was once among those people who felt races should not mix.

Therefore, I’m writing, “You go boy!”  You took courage by the tail of ignorance and put your person in the line of social-fire!  Gosh!  Dude!  What the heck were you thinking when you created your website looking for love!

I’m sure your lack of intimacy with a woman that loves being with you speared you on to create a blog that makes you looks like a total jerk-face to a lot of people.  Surprisingly, as a woman of color, I see you totally different.  I see you as a man that wrote what he felt to find conditional love.  And it didn’t matter to you the feelings you publicly and socially hurt in the process, as long as you got the woman of your dreams.  Right.

Larry,

  • It’s okay that you don’t find black women physically attractive.
  • It’s okay to say you think black people are disgusting to look upon.
  • It’s okay to say black people look like animals.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has slept with black men.
  • It’s okay to say races should not mix.
  • It’s okay to say you like everything pink on your mate.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want an overweight woman.
  • It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has tattoos.
  • It’s okay to call certain types of white people trash.
  • It is even okay to express you don’t want a woman who has engaged in group sex.
  • And it’s okay to date women without children.

Personally, I don’t agree with your views.  I believe every person should live and let live (as why I didn’t and don’t take your comments about black women and black people to heart).

But the problem came once you publicly stated those things in search of conditional love.  Most people, especially a successful business person, with an ounce of social decorum would have posted the positive attributes of what they’re looking for in a mate.  Later within a private setting they would discard names, emails, and phone numbers of those that didn’t fit their criteria.  Do you get the picture!

Instead, you wrote racial propaganda about why you do not date black women; and supported your views by stating non-blacks should not mix the races if it involves black people.   Larry, your shallow statement “I think that all races were created equal” was an afterthought to soften the blow of your inhumane statements on people of color.

Don’t back down now man . . . tell the world how you truly feel about black folks!

Larry!  Hello!  What planet are you from!  What planet are you living on!  And how can you look at yourself in the mirror every day with your extreme racial views and say you are not a racist.  Shakespeare once wrote, “This above all:  to thine own self be true.”  Larry, I hate to break the news to you buddy but your statements are racial; thus, painting you as a racist.  And anyone telling you otherwise is blowing smoke up your heinie.  Laughter!

Larry, as a woman of color, I truly wish you all the best in finding the woman you feel you deserve.  And remember . . .

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ~Mark Twain

Taboo Tuesdays: Learning to be Happy in Your Skin – Part II

Last week I shared the following story:

MA Concerned Mom asked:

I have asked my friends and family a million times but nothing works maybe someone can give me something else to try? I have a daughter who is 5 she is half african american half white. She is a beautiful girl but she HATES her color (carmel). Ive tried explaining to her that she is beautiful and no matter what color she is she is beautiful. Ive tried explaining everything to her it dont work! My son is very pale color and she seems to be so jealous of him I even have a hard time getting her to go to her.dads house or family’s cause she dont want to be around “colored” people. Its like she resents them for her color! She often ask who God punished her and made her brown or if she can paint herself white. Please someone have tips? Im out of ideads..

Taboo Tues Blog PhotoWhen I read the story something about the content tapped into my hidden issues of self-hatred.  I immediately recognized the unhealthy emotions as painful childhood memories.  Honestly, I wanted them to remain buried.  Mainly because they are suppressed memories from my childhood.   I didn’t know how to deal with them.  Yet something bigger, something greater, did not want my feelings of hopelessness to stay buried.  Apparently it is time I visited the giants that seemed so much bigger to the little girl in the photo.

Coming across the plea from a hopeless mother has changed my life.  The story casts light on my life learned lessons about self-hatred.

Now that I am an adult I am wiser than the little girl within that continues to feel helpless, unloved, and ugly.  Unknown to her I can go to the giants of rejection, abuse, and self mutilation.   I can knock on their door without fear.  I can barge my way into restraint places as a protector of hers and my mental well being.  And most of all I give my spirit the authority to emotionally rescue the little girl in the photo and join her with the woman I have become.

Love yourself, for if you don’t how can you expect anybody else to love you? ~Author Unknown

Taboo Tuesdays: Learning to be Happy in Your Skin – Part I

MA Concerned Mom asked:

I have asked my friends and family a million times but nothing works maybe someone can give me something else to try? I have a daughter who is 5 she is half african american half white. She is a beautiful girl but she HATES her color (carmel). Ive tried explaining to her that she is beautiful and no matter what color she is she is beautiful. Ive tried explaining everything to her it dont work! My son is very pale color and she seems to be so jealous of him I even have a hard time getting her to go to her.dads house or family’s cause she dont want to be around “colored” people. Its like she resents them for her color! She often ask who God punished her and made her brown or if she can paint herself white. Please someone have tips? Im out of ideads..

Time to reflect:

“He wished he could be anywhere else and anyone else but Here and Him.”
― James R. SilvestriHawthorn Road

Years have passed.  Memories of being unhappy in my skin are never remembered.  Well almost never remembered, that’s until something provokes old thoughts of self-hate or someone expresses personal dislike about themselves.  Any-who-how . . .

When I was younger I remember vividly how I hated being black.  During this time one thing was for sure, I wanted my dad to be black and my mother to be white, but I didn’t want to be a whole of one certain race.  It was clear in my minds-eye that I wanted to be mulatto.  I didn’t want to change the color of my skin.  I was happy being brown.  But as I continue to return to my past memories I’m reminded it was my short nappy hair!

Taboo Tues Blog Photo
I’m 5 years old in this photo.

I hated my hair!  It was nappy!  It was short!  And it was scanty around my hairline!

People made fun of my hair and that included family members.

I was sad all the time.  I cried all the time.  People thought I was mentally unstable.  Unbeknown to them, I tried to be happy.  I wanted to be happy.  But there was no happiness for me because I was born with a social imperfection.  And despite my age, the people in the world and unkind family members continually let me know I was not perfect!

Painfully I hate to admit, my hair became the doorway for people to taunt me.  My hair became the doorway for me to cultivate and nurture the spirit of self-hate.

I was heckled at school and harassed at home!  I had nowhere to run nor to hide.  With much sorrow my hair or lack thereof was a constant reminder that people thought I was ugly.  Oh!  No one said it!  But their rude remarks about my temporary birth defect implied it!

As I reflect, I am now beginning to understand why I quickly [stressing quickly] remove people from my life that inflect pain upon me.  My defensive actions were a mystery to me and something I didn’t understand before now.  I’m amazed at my discovery about my unyielding spirit when it comes to keeping people at a distance once they hurt me.  Because most times I forgive people who hurt me immediately; but rarely do I allow them back in my life to cause me more grief.

Had I not stumbled upon the above petition from a mother that wanted to help her five-year old daughter I would not be dealing with past hurts. Dang!  I hate moments like this!  I . . . just wish the hurtful memories would return to the section of my mind I have made for them and stay put!

I’m coming to a close but I would like to ask a question, or two or maybe three.

If discussing birth-defects or genetic imperfections is taboo, then why the heck do people cruelly make fun of people who have them?  Is it because they also feel less accepted, therefore, they must pick on a person that is socially deemed imperfect to feel better?  Or are such people, just, downright mean-spirited?