I am not going to be licked by tragedy, as life is a challenge, and we must carry on and work for the living as well as mourn for the dead.
Death couldn’t get any closer. The number of days were tallied for my beloved mom. She was 85 years old. I don’t know if my wish was selfish or not but, I her daughter wanted her to live beyond that number. If the Universe could have only given me one more year with her. But! Then I would want her to have another year after that. So, there was no winning with me for the Universe when it came to my mom dying. Because! I didn’t want her to die!
Love is a wonderful thing. And being my mom’s chosen and now court appointed personal representative robbed me of the rights to grieve her loss. Her death entered me into a battle when my thoughts were cloudy with grief.
People, oh the many of them, had planned my demise long before the “ole’ girl died.” And! After she died . . . They were hitting me from every imaginable and unimaginable angle! And should you become a personal representative the same could be awaiting for you! Especially if heirs are delusional to what they feel entitled. Therefore, don’t do crazy today. Do you!
Take a deep awaited sigh. Not a breath but a sigh. Put a photo of your loved one on your working station. Remember you were chosen because the deceased knew you could and would represent them well. Stand tall! And plant your thoughts in knowing everything you need is within you. And should you find yourself coming up short give the issues to your attorney.
1st Corinthians 15:13 states: Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Your word says “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.” Please help those that continue hanging out with people that aren’t good for them. Put your loving arms around them. Whisper in their ears that you love them and you want better for them. Open their eyes so they can see the true character of their so called friend(s). Give them your courage to leave and never look back. Amen
Yesterday I was in a part of Denver I rarely pass through but my cousin wanted me to go with her to Downing Supermarket [that nasty place].
I’m not sure why my cousin won’t go to a meat market in our area and order smoke neck bones and frozen greens but she doesn’t. I think she likes hanging out from time to time with the roughnecks of the world. Not me.
Well, anywhohow, I was waiting at the meat counter with my cousin for her turn to be helped. As I was standing there my nose was wrinkled at the unappealing meat in the display case. It looked nothing like the meat I purchase at the local supermarkets nor at meat markets. So, yes, inwardly I question it and its origin.
Thinking to self I said “I wouldn’t purchase this meat.” Well my thoughts weren’t savory. Knowing me, I had a few cuss words somewhere in my mental thoughts. But, don’t worry, I’m asking God to help me with my cussing.
Anywho, a pre-teen was bouncing around the customers. Her parents said nothing to her about her early adolescence behavior. So she moved from here to there and then she bounced herself face to face with me and we locked eyes. Our encounter was brief but the eye to eye contact made her uneasy. Unbeknown to me, she conveyed her feelings to her parents.
So minutes later I walked back from an area closest to the meat counter and saw a sign about fresh eggs. I stood reading it.
When I turned back towards the meat counter the little girls dad said, “Hello.” I exchanged what I thought was pleasantries. Not! The next thing I knew the man says, “Why are you looking at my daughter.”
I was truly caught off guard. So I said, I wasn’t looking at your daughter, I was reading that sign but I can look at her if you want me too!”
I guess my response caught the young man off guard as his insulting question initially caught me off mine.
You could tell he wasn’t easy about me being around his daughter but his feeling were fuel by paranoia that is feed by the community within they live. It was clear to see from my behavior his world wasn’t my world.
Until now, I was oblivious to his world. I was passing through and had no plans of returning. So the people within it really never mattered. I thought! But! God works in mysterious ways.
I praise God for keeping me safe because that young hotheaded gang member could have killed me. I praise Him for allowing me to see the need He has prepared me to assist Him in fulfilling. I praise Him for the avenues He’s going to open for me to help His people. I praise Him for just being God! My Heavenly father and redeemer! Amen!
Yesterday, I was very upset. It seems the lies my family have shared with those that would listen were believed. And what came to mind during this brief moment was something I was once told. “Everyone deserves their good name.” That statement holds true for the person that ruined yours. Yet, the part of you that protects and loves you wants to seek revenge despite the truth.
In Humility Matters the author writes:
“An angry reaction is to use words that harm another. Calumny is to speak about another and harm his or her good name. It might be a truthful fact but not necessary for me to promulgate. Slander is to actually speak and promote lies about another and testify false things about another as if they were true. Everyone deserves a good name, and for us to devalue another has an irrevocable and damaging effect on that person’s social well-being. Calumny and slander, however, most harm me because I falsely put myself above the other either in judgment or in vanity. My own being is tarnished. If I do this, I am not to be trusted. If I am not trustworthy, I forfeit the honor of bearing witness.”
And tho my name has been ruined I must find ways to bury old feelings. I must figure out another way to detach from those that ruined my name in the first place. I must finish the task that opened this door of reality of the affects of people ruining my good name; so, I can continue of the path of living a joy filled life.
Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you…yet, someone survived…You can do anything you choose to do. – Maya Angelou
In every crisis there is a message. Crises are nature’s way of forcing change — breaking down old structures, shaking loose negative habits so that something new and better can take their place.— Susan L. Taylor
“I smelled the stink that only a street whore has after a long, busy night.” ~Iceberg Slim, Pimp: The Story of My Life
This morning as I searched for a positive quote for today I stumbled across a man called “Iceberg Slim.” His birth name was Robert Beck. Apparently he took the easy road to securing his financial future by honing the craft of manipulating others and becoming a pimp at the age of 18. From the sounds of things he truly capitalized on using the sexual gifts God gave to women to please their husbands for his selfish purpose.
After being released from a short stint in jail Robert Beck ended his pimping career at the age of 42. One would say, “Good ridden to bad rubbish.” But! No! He didn’t crawl into a hole underneath a rock and disappear from all good society! Instead he became an author and wrote about his exploitation experiences as a pimp.
What makes his career choices gut wrenching for me, as a woman and mother, is how the literary community sought to tell and sell his story. I just gotta ask why publishers and movie makers, especially black movie makers, sought to make money from a story that exploited women? And even though I know the answer, I still find the need to ask such a naïve question in a cynical way.
My heart goes out to the women he exploited. And my prayers are for the family members that lost loved ones that didn’t make it to tell their stories. And my soul cries for the women that were and are affected by his tell all book of “man’s inhumanity to man.”
If you can control a man’s thinking you do not have to worry about his action. When you determine what a man shall think you do not have to concern yourself about what he will do. If you make a man feel that he is inferior, you do not have to compel him to accept an inferior status, for he will seek it himself. If you make a man think that he is justly an outcast, you do not have to order him to the back door. He will go without being told; and if there is no back door, his very nature will demand one. ~Carter G. Woodson