Saturday Funnies: Grandma Still Drives

Grandma Still Drives 

Angry Drivers

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She
writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from
a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer
meeting..

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that
the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t
honked, I’d never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of
God!’

‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all
those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach..

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to
leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

Saturday Funnies: Being Green

Photo taken from:  http://www.elephantjournal.com/
Photo taken from:  www.elephantjournal.com

Well, I found another email message I thought was cute enough to pass on.  This one is about a young person lecturing an older person on being considerate of the earth and all its inhabitants.

Being Green 

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today.  Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the ‘green thing’ in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store.
The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks.

This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building.
We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throwaway kind.
We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.

Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn.

We used a push mower that ran on human power.  We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the “green thing.”

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.  And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart … young person…

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off, especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smart ass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much.

Thank You !!!

Granny’s Wisdom: 100 Years Old And Still Best Friends

The video say’s it all!

Granny’s Wisdom: The Family Killed Their Cash-cow

Honour killing 01“I killed my daughter as she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent, and I have no regret over it.” –Farzana Parveen’s Father

Yesterday, I entered into a social hornets nest.  The group topic I chose to comment on was about a young 25-year-old Pakistani woman.  She was several months pregnant and married a man 20 years older with five motherless children.  The price she paid for not seeking family approval on the man she married was death.

What makes this crime worse than horrible is she was stoned to death by those that should have loved her most, her family.

And what socially puts this on the Richter scale as being the most horrible crime done in the name of God are the religious head-hunters.

But this crime had nothing to do with religion.  Her father clearly stated, ‘she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent.’  He said nothing about them persecuting her for religious reasons.  Yet, those that dislike any form of religion say’s differently; including one of the groups I belong to on Facebook.

Their viewpoints on the matter are why I’m writing this blog post.  Because according to the admin she first expresses the matter as “not directly religion based, but an honour killing.”  Then she turns around and writes, “However, religious laws which are rampant, which treat women as chattels and not as people, and which place their only value in marriage and breeding are responsible for the attitudes which make honour killiings so common.”  

It’s a sad state of affairs when a group of people have nothing better to do with their time outside of bashing religion and religious groups.  And it is even sadder when the group fail to accept reality that no one, no religious entity, or social group is perfect; not even theirs.

I feel the statements of the admin smacks of headhunting.  And after viewing the news clipping of an overseas television station that stated the crime was cultural and not linked to Islāmic faith practices my thoughts were confirmed that the group was out for religious blood.

Apart from pointing out the group’s efforts for blaming religion, I felt the administrator and those within the group straddle-the-fence when it came to addressing the real issues about what lead up to the untimely death of the young woman.  Blinded by religious prejudices each group member failed to see the true culprit(s).  Yet, they were hell-bent in their dogmatic practice in making sure I understood their cock-eyed viewpoints on the subject; which was by the way religious practice was behind the stoning.

As I saw things, their viewpoints held validity for those that hate religion and those that do not follow God.

One gentleman basically stated religious people were brainwashed.  And that those who choose to believed in God were delusional because they believed in “imaginary friends in the sky.”  Oh isn’t he cute!  Just a bit of sarcasm! He went on to tell me that he needed to teach me theology because I knew nothing of the word of God. I felt his tainted knowledge kept and keeps him prisoner of his self-absorb very flawed character.  I got his point!  But his arrogance stopped him from getting mine.  I knew he wanted me to understand that if I understood the word of God as he deduced it, I would not be so apt to follow Christ.  Hum . . . Whatever!

Honestly the real gem of his religious mockery was him babbling that I was trying to convert him!  Convert hell!  I was defending my faith and my rights as a follower of Christ to state what I felt was truth in this particular “honour killing.”

Then after Mr. I Have Courage Behind The Computer Screen tried to shame me for being a follower of Christ among his peers, his little goonies chimed in!  And the insult game was on!

Each person tried to tell me that I didn’t know what I was talking about.  They were spewing out their rehearsed anti-religion scrap quickly!  They wanted the key players to know they were on top of their positions as being group gophers.  And to make sure they got group acknowledgement for their efforts in setting this indoctrinated idiot straight, they would every so often ask for a pat on the head after their self-destructive comments.

I knew exactly what I was stating and why I made my comments.  I knew they were talking about honour killings.  I also knew they were straddling the fence by agreeing with ‘not directly religion based, but an honour killing’ misleading statement.

Honestly, as a logical person, I want to know what does that statement really mean?!!!  And how is their key-board courage helping these defeated women?

Farzana Parveen is just one of many women that will be killed this year in Pakistan.  Many of their deaths will be administered by family members.  And thinking for themselves will be their crimes.  These types of killings, (no! wait!) any type of killing is wrong!  For any reason!

As an American, as a woman, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s niece, someone’s aunt, and someone’s mother, I feel the women in Pakistan should have the right to marry the man of their choice!  They should have the right to marry for love.  They should have the rights to decide if they want to continue cultural tradition in allowing their family to pick their husband.  But they should not be killed for any reason; and certainly not because they used their brain.

These women are not cash cows!  Yet, cultural practice deems them so!  And because Farzana Parveen used her brain to stand up for her dignity she was stoned to death.  The organ that made her Farzana Parveen was smashed out of her body.  And no one stepped up to the plate to help her.

The men in her family that brutally attacked her and the men on the streets of Pakistan that sat/stood by and watched this unthinkable crime publicly dishonored themselves.  There is no honor in a mob killing let alone killing a helpless pregnant woman!

And as for supporting my argument below:

“Call it what you may but this was not a religious honor killing. This senseless act was a killing of selfishness. It had nothing to do with religion but everything to do with monetary disappointments. And sadly religion of any kind, mainly Christians, are being blamed here for this horrific act. Only far left wing and far right wing groups would partake in an inhuman act; and, thus, called themselves justified. The ex-boy friend was upset because he had something to gain from the marriage of convenience and lost it when she married for love. The father was upset because the man she married didn’t have as much as the man he choose. So after she failed to leave the man she loved and professed her love in court the father was angered even more because of his monetary losses! Therefore, they killed her out of anger and the rest went along because they failed to use their small brains. So! No! This was not a religious act! This was a crime of economy! A crime that can be considered as a selfish monetarily motivated act and it didn’t happen in America! And all involved should be captured and tried for murder.” –Annette Harrison

Tune in next time!  But remember to prayer and or do something to help other’s.

The Prayer’s of Black Women Photos: Seven Days Without God

Seven Days Without God

The Prayer’s of Black Women Photos: What Does It Mean to Trust You Lord?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

The Prayer’s of Black Women: What Does It Mean to Trust You Lord?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  Proverbs 3:5

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

Dear Lord:

Your word says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  My prayer today is about what does it mean to trust in you?  Or should I pray for answers to the following questions:  How does a person trust in you Lord?  Does this passage support our free will ?  And how does it support common sense?

Lord my questions are not original (although I wish they were).  But  many before me have asked the same during moments of spiritual isolation.  And, sadly, so many after me will pose the same question(s) during moments of uncertainty.  So, Lord, again, I ask what does it mean to trust in you?  Because sometimes Lord I’m afraid those that believe in you fail to know what it means to truly trust in you.

And for that reason Lord, I am asking that you help us to know what you mean in this passage.   Help us to merge the wisdom of God with our instinct to spiritually and physically survive.  Help us to refrain from blaming you when things don’t go as planned and according to our interpretation of your words.  Help us to accept defeat as well as our victories during moments of spiritual growth.  So, Lord, I ask again, help us to truly know what it means to trust in you.  Amen.

Your Loving Daughter
Annette

Granny’s Wisdom: Do Not Wear Out Your Welcome

This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.
This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.

I wonder how many people have heard the phrase “do not wear out your welcome.”  Hum . . . I first heard the expression from my grandmother when I was young.

Back when I was once a kid, and a know-it-all, it seemed my late maternal grandmother would always say those words to my cousins, my siblings and me.  I’m not sure how my family members took her wisdom; but back when I was a child I thought my grandmother was old, uncaring, uneducated, mean-spirited, and truly out of touch with the mental and emotional needs of the young.  [chuckle]

I can remember as if it was yesterday sassing her for this or that.  But nothing stands out more than the time she would not let me go over to my cousin’s house as often as I wanted.   And, sadly, it was late into my adult years before I understood the meaning ‘do not wear out your welcome.’

As I’m looking back on things and reflecting upon how I dismissed her words of caution, I now understand why my life was filled with heartaches.

I hate to admit to myself but I deserved all the bumps I got from being hardheaded; and my self enlightenment really makes me feel foolish about things I had blame on others.

Well, any-who-how . . . It was by divine revelation I found the phrase in the Bible one day.  I was shocked!  It was amazing to read that God gives his children the same warning!

Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you. Proverbs 25:17

The message I get from this passage is:  don’t be so darn clingy!  Get a life!  Explore parts of your life without others.  Enjoy family when can.  And remember a bit of you goes a long ways.

I’m coming to terms with my granny’s wisdom.  My grandmother has passed but her words live on.  And each day that I live I think about her abrasive and unharness wisdom.  I’m learning she was indeed the smartest woman I will ever know and most of all she loved me.

The Prayer’s of Black Women: Overcoming Infidelity

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. ~Matthew 19:6

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

Whisper your heavenly love to the wounded soul oh Lord.  Heal broken hearts with your divine touch.

For again someone feels they have fallen short of your glory by not guarding their heart.  Lord replace their sorrow with joy.  Because in all sincerity they thought they were doing what you expected of them as spouses; and as a result of truly trusting their loved ones their hearts were broken by infidelity.

Their spouses silence, without complaint, lead them to believe all was well with the their lives as a couple and as a family.  But as infidelity deeds are and were being uncovered the illusion of perfect relationships and family units are being destroyed.

Lord, please help the victims of infidelity in this delicate moment; as you spiritually work on their companions moral values by cutting away relationship deceptions and replacing spiritual corruption with Fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Strengthen these victims Lord with your words, presence and unconditional love.  Give them the ability to forgive quickly.  As you sustain their marriage with the bonds of holy commitment.  So that both will continue nurturing a lasting matrimony.  Lord quiet inner turmoil of shame, anger, deception, hopelessness, selfishness, disappointment, lack of trust, and the feelings of loss by replacing each emotion with love and understanding.  Amen

Your Loving Daughter ~Annette

Old School Wisdom: A Lady Never Kisses and Tells

Photo taken from:  The Queen Bee of Bees
Photo taken from: The Queen Bee of Bees

Please do not ask me why but I belong to a group where white men and black women search for interracial love.  And, yes, I am married, so please don’t add more to my belonging to this group other than:  I joined for nostalgic reasons.  My husband knows I am associated with the group and he is okay with me being a member.  But my blog post today is not about why I joined such a group.  Actually the subject is more in line with  “A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.”

A couple of weeks ago I noticed the group heating up with activity.  So one day I zipped cyberly into the room where I quietly watched the dialogues between the sexes.

After a young woman had blown the cover of a married man he started calling all the women in the group “hoes.”  And the unconventional responses from the young women failed to put the disrespectful young man in his proper place; therefore, he became more abusive because he knew he was saying things that upset the women.  Sadly the administrator(s) of the group supported this young man’s abrasive behavior.  Especially since he/she/they did not temporarily or permanently remove him from the community.  So, me, as an old schooler sitting and watching the conversation unfold witness rejection at its worse and low self-esteem at its peak.  But what bugged me most was the following question asked by another man within the group:

Lets talk about blowjobs. What are your thoughts, feelings, opinions and knowledge on the subject?

When I told my husband I had a problem with the question my husband said, “You got a problem with that question?  With all the other [implicated deleted] going on and you got a problem with that question?”  Regrettably, I must confess my husband in private spoke like a true man!  Ugh!

Oh!  But my hubby didn’t stop with the above [not so funny] statements he then continued his humor by saying, “He was running a primary election trying to find the right candidate.  He was being Democratic.”

It’s obvious my husband finds the question humorous while I’m totally offended by it.  For the record, I am not a prude but, I am a person that believes ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.’  And I felt any woman who responded to the question would be foolish!  Because the question was posed to scout-out desperate naïve women that would be willing to do anything of a sexual nature for a chance at love.

However, there is one thing my husband and I both agree on, and that is “the guy was trying to fill a job position.”  And every women that answered his question was possibly considered for the job.

Word to the young:

If an acquaintance is willing to discuss sexual preference before they cultivate a meaningful and lasting relationship with you, then they are looking to satisfy their sexual appetite and any person will do!  Don’t you be that any person unless you are looking to be a one-night stand! And even when a woman has a one night-stand she holds true to ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells’!