I am not going to be licked by tragedy, as life is a challenge, and we must carry on and work for the living as well as mourn for the dead.
Death couldn’t get any closer. The number of days were tallied for my beloved mom. She was 85 years old. I don’t know if my wish was selfish or not but, I her daughter wanted her to live beyond that number. If the Universe could have only given me one more year with her. But! Then I would want her to have another year after that. So, there was no winning with me for the Universe when it came to my mom dying. Because! I didn’t want her to die!
Love is a wonderful thing. And being my mom’s chosen and now court appointed personal representative robbed me of the rights to grieve her loss. Her death entered me into a battle when my thoughts were cloudy with grief.
People, oh the many of them, had planned my demise long before the “ole’ girl died.” And! After she died . . . They were hitting me from every imaginable and unimaginable angle! And should you become a personal representative the same could be awaiting for you! Especially if heirs are delusional to what they feel entitled. Therefore, don’t do crazy today. Do you!
Take a deep awaited sigh. Not a breath but a sigh. Put a photo of your loved one on your working station. Remember you were chosen because the deceased knew you could and would represent them well. Stand tall! And plant your thoughts in knowing everything you need is within you. And should you find yourself coming up short give the issues to your attorney.
Wow! April 14, 2013 @ 9:13 a.m., I wrote this 750 word blog post. Today, May 8, 2020, seven years later, it is finally being published without concerns of being judged for grammar. I’ve come full circle when believing I’m enough and I matter.
Laughter! The other day before I published America New Frontier for African American Slave Descendants I called a White girl friend to get her opinion on what I wrote. At first I could hear her looking through papers. But desperate for input I continued to read her my post. She became silent and the background noise stopped. She was so quite I thought her cell phone had dropped the call. So I asked, “Joyce are you still here?” She responded with “Yes.” I said, “Okay” and I continued reading. After I finished reading the post I informed her I was done and awaited for her input.
This is what she had to say, “Hell girl Black women are not the only ones that need to hear this. White women need encouragement too! I think your post is great but you need to write to women in general.” Inwardly, I thought “Okay!” Did my friend miss the point! Or did I miss the boat! Laughter!
This is not a blog of segregation. It’s a way for me to discuss and share my feelings as a Black women living in America. I once wrote why I started blogging in my own name. I never went into detail what I was researching when I discovered how people, groups, race and men felt about Black women being the lowest in lifeforms. Each internet article, blog, YouTube video, and other social media kept hammering away at Black women and their characters; as if we have no feelings at all! Yet, everyday somewhere in the world a Black woman is giving birth to another female that will be picked apart until Black women stand together and fight back by refuting ignorance concerning our gender group.
I personally feel these malicious rumors are spreed to keep women of color from advancing personally and professionally. What am I saying? I’m saying the world as a whole do not want Black women to raise up and be account for and keep their heads up in the process. Why? Because spiritual, emotionally, and mentally we are strong, and where there is strength there is power, and where there is power there is the possibility of becoming number one! Think on it! Black women haven’t done anything to the world to hate us, yet, we are the most picked upon and picked apart group of women. As a matter of fact, I find the world has done its’ fair share in trying to diminish our gender group; its efforts hints extermination for Black women; and, again, we refuse with the aid of God to become extinct. Hello!
I love being a Black woman. To say I hate being a Black woman would be an insult to God. What I hate is ignorance concerning women of color. I hate we are by forced to coward down. I hate that sometimes by choice we allow others to dictate our future as people, a gender group, motherhood, marital status, and part of a race. Therefore, I will say it again. I will keep saying it. Black women have the rights to dream and dream big! And they have the rights to pursue those dreams. What bothers me is not the ignorant smudges on our character placed by uneducated people, but the fact Black women won’t come together on one accord for the good of our gender group. I have experienced first hand being sold to the highest bidder by a sister of color. Nothing hurt worse than knowing she sold me for a meager employment position. As I stood realizing I had became the “Judas goat” I gave her a glare only a woman of color understood. From that day to this she can never speak to me in public or private settings.
So to all my non-Black friends and non-Black people this is not a blog to segregate. It is a blog to encourage a group of women that is, and have been for a long time, under attack; so, please don’t take my words personal. I am always there to encourage everyone! But for the moment I am here to encourage Black women. We need encouragement. We need to know we matter. We need to know that those we say horrible things about us are fools and foolish. As a gender group we need to come together for the good of Black women and etc.
Yesterday I was in a part of Denver I rarely pass through but my cousin wanted me to go with her to Downing Supermarket [that nasty place].
I’m not sure why my cousin won’t go to a meat market in our area and order smoke neck bones and frozen greens but she doesn’t. I think she likes hanging out from time to time with the roughnecks of the world. Not me.
Well, anywhohow, I was waiting at the meat counter with my cousin for her turn to be helped. As I was standing there my nose was wrinkled at the unappealing meat in the display case. It looked nothing like the meat I purchase at the local supermarkets nor at meat markets. So, yes, inwardly I question it and its origin.
Thinking to self I said “I wouldn’t purchase this meat.” Well my thoughts weren’t savory. Knowing me, I had a few cuss words somewhere in my mental thoughts. But, don’t worry, I’m asking God to help me with my cussing.
Anywho, a pre-teen was bouncing around the customers. Her parents said nothing to her about her early adolescence behavior. So she moved from here to there and then she bounced herself face to face with me and we locked eyes. Our encounter was brief but the eye to eye contact made her uneasy. Unbeknown to me, she conveyed her feelings to her parents.
So minutes later I walked back from an area closest to the meat counter and saw a sign about fresh eggs. I stood reading it.
When I turned back towards the meat counter the little girls dad said, “Hello.” I exchanged what I thought was pleasantries. Not! The next thing I knew the man says, “Why are you looking at my daughter.”
I was truly caught off guard. So I said, I wasn’t looking at your daughter, I was reading that sign but I can look at her if you want me too!”
I guess my response caught the young man off guard as his insulting question initially caught me off mine.
You could tell he wasn’t easy about me being around his daughter but his feeling were fuel by paranoia that is feed by the community within they live. It was clear to see from my behavior his world wasn’t my world.
Until now, I was oblivious to his world. I was passing through and had no plans of returning. So the people within it really never mattered. I thought! But! God works in mysterious ways.
I praise God for keeping me safe because that young hotheaded gang member could have killed me. I praise Him for allowing me to see the need He has prepared me to assist Him in fulfilling. I praise Him for the avenues He’s going to open for me to help His people. I praise Him for just being God! My Heavenly father and redeemer! Amen!
Most of you know that I enjoy couponing. I really enjoy giving to others. But for the past year what I have learned about me is that I HATE hypocrites!
I get all kinds of thoughts coming across my Facebook feed. Most of it is well wishing something personal, some of it deals with cruelty to animals, but the bulk of it deals with racism in America. Let me return to the subject of me couponing.
When I started my money-saving journey I never knew the doors of understanding that would open because of a paradigm change. In the last year I’ve lost friends for various reasons and most of those friends claim to be extremely religious or extremely knowledgeable about sex, race, religion, politics, and all other things that goes along with living life. And as I began to coupon I found myself in a spiritual place I didn’t even know exist and was able to read the hearts of those that claimed to love me.
I found myself caring less of what the world thinks of me as a black person. I found myself caring less of how people viewed my beloved car that is missing a quarter of its front bumper, a broken pulled down latched that was done by a Walmart worker. I found that my opinion mattered despite the rejections of others. I found I could validate another person’s opinion even though I didn’t agree with their belief. I found myself feeling more put off by folks forcing themselves in my life in one form or another. I found myself being inspired by the single good-looking younger than me caring about morals successful business owner man down the street. I found myself reflecting upon my marital vows and how I treat the guy that goes to work everyday and misses sleep because he must get his load to the buyer on time. I began to really put thought to how he gives me his paycheck each week (should he make a check) and questioned if I could do the same. I found myself wondering how I was going to pay back all the student loans my youngest took out in his name to attend college. And for you folks that feel my youngest should pay his student loans, close your pie holes! Please!
As my son’s parent it’s my job to see that he gets the best start in life. And! Since I made such a mess of my life by making poor decisions when I was young and netted nothing financially to aid my children when it came to helping them enter into the world as successful adults, then my son’s student loan repayments became mines because his entry into adulthood debt free is my job as his parent.
But the thing I’ve learned from couponing is that it takes all kinds of people to make this a beautiful world.
Recently, I’ve been using coupons to buy items. And since my money-saving announcement, I’ve gotten all kinds of flack from folks. I’ve heard such things as “why would you do that” or “you’re wasting your time” and “I can’t stand people who use coupons.”
At first the unsupportive statements made me feel shameful and gave me a spirit to quit. Then one day I went shopping in an all white community. And as I was looking at a product trying to figure out if it would be worth purchasing then a man stopped in front of me. He said, “Wow! Look at your book! I bet you are going to save a ton of money! You are so organized! I’m not even that organized!” [I wasn’t sure what to think about his last comment. lol.] But it was clear to see the white man approved of my strategy to save money by using the money hundreds of companies give to couponers. Honestly, it was his comments and a few more comments from white people who made me realize coupons are FREE money.
Anywhohow, because I was willing to give L’Oreal products a try I got their shampoo and conditioner for free! And it normally sells for 5 dollars and some change.
Now mind you some black people might think only black hair care products are good for their hair; thus, making them loyal to products that state it’s for black hair only. But it was a good friend that enlighten me to try hair-care products for non-black folks. Her hair is her testimony! It’s long! It’s healthy! And it looks really good! And with the exception of hair relaxers for black folks she doesn’t use just black hair care products to keep her hair healthy. And with her in mind I carefully selected products she states black hair need for continual growth.
So the shampoos and conditioners I selected are in the first photo of my post. As you can see L’Oreal claims their product reinforces hair strands and nourishes the hair.
I’m excited to see how my new shampoos and conditioners work on my hair and look forwards to sharing the results with you.
Ooh! And the money I saved can go towards paying an overdue bill.
“If it had not been for storytelling, the black family would not have survived. It was the responsibility of the Uncle Remus types to transfer philosophies, attitudes, values, and advice, by way of storytelling using creatures in the woods as symbols.”
We the people of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.