Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
OMG! It’s time to countdown! We’re close to completing renovating my mom’s house. I’m finding myself feeling some type of way about the coming end of this adventure. I’m not sad my mom’s home is going to market. But the end of the reno has awaken sadness time will never heal. The loss of innocence. The loss of my brother. And, now, the loss of my mom.
When everything around me became chaotic the empty house became warm and inviting. It became my refuge. It was there my troubles began at the tender age of eleven. And it was there my soul found peace at the ripe old age of 59 and three quarters.
Each day I spend in my mom’s home assurance washes over my soul. The ghosts of growth, love and understanding comforts me.
My brother loved me. And, I him. I feel his presence from time to time. My mother loved me. And, I loved her more than I thought she would ever know. And her presence is strong. It comforts me in so many ways. Warm feelings come over me as I paint a closet or a song will play on Pandora she’d listen to for hours. Without a doubt the sin of my uncle-in-law became her and my redeemer at the end.
The strength I forged to live through the shame and blaming of being sexually violated has become the solidarity between my deceased mom and me. I’m glad she came to terms with the part she’d played in the ongoing ostracizing of me among family members. Because in the end her acts of kindness did their best to seek forgiveness. But unbeknown to her, I had forgiven her decades ago. As why she could marvel and take refuge in my strength to live an abundant life. She will forever be missed. Her character was larger than the life she lived.
23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord forever.[g]
Let us begin this Wednesday morning in prayer! Father You have brought us to the beginning of a new day. As the world is renewed fresh and clean, so we ask You to renew our heart with Your strength and purpose. Forgive us of the sins of yesterday and bless us to walk closer in Your way today. This is the day we begin our new life; shine through us s o that every person we meet may feel Your presence in us. Take our hand today Lord for We cannot make it by ourselves. In Jesus Name Amen.
Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5
Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. Let me and all that that live praise you for your wonderful works. Let us shout thanksgiving to declare your deeds of love. Amen
For years I’ve known how to build a privacy fence. And, sadly, I was so enmeshed in my own life I never thought to build one for my mom. She would hire this person or that person to do odd jobs because it was what she wanted. Their work was poor quality. It was her house and her money. So I allowed her to live with the shoddy work. She was very happy with it! Now! She’s dead! And I’m having to clean up the mess! A month or so ago, I built this side fence.
Just look at that Ma and Pa Kettle fence! And! It has been like that for years! I even think someone tried to repair the thing! I would have never felt safe in that house. Not saying a fence is 100% crime deterrent but fences do make good neighbors.
As I worked on the side fence people would drive by or even walk by and act like they have never seen a black woman do renovation. One guy at Lowe’s was impressed with my skill level.
Back when I was way younger. I’d purchased a fixer upper.
My neighbor and I moved into our homes about the same time. He had a partner. They were always working on their house. I sat in my house crying to God about what I couldn’t do. Instead of asking God to show me how to do construction projects.
Finally my neighbor got tired of hearing my cries come through the window and he came over with a used ceiling fan and a drill. He gave me both with a lecture. That particular day my neighbor showed me how to change out light fixtures.
He said, “If you can’t afford to hire someone to do repairs or you don’t know how to do home repairs, you should not own a home.” His words were harsh and truth. From that day to this I have been doing most of my home repairs. And, I’m doing DIY projects just like the pros! Hell! I am a pro! lol
A couple of days ago I stopped at Arby’s for dinner. My sandwich was missing the important ingredient, cranberries. Adding insult to injury the guy was very rude when taking my order and the sandwich was dry. So I went to bed upset about wasting money, as I was very disappointed and still hungry.
The next night, I got home around 6 in the evening, again! I’d left my house around 8 that morning. I was tired from running errands. But! I got a ton of stuff done and product purchased for my mom’s house renovation. Well, any-who-how, I had nothing thawed for dinner. So! On the fly I made up this delicious and quick recipe.
This recipe is so easy that a kid can make it.
1 – 24 oz Traditional Barilla sauce
1 – 1lb chub/roll Jimmy Dean’s Hot Sausage
1/4 cup of diced yellow onion
1/2 teaspoon Lawry’s season salt
1/2 cup frozen collard greens
1 table spoon or less Bertolli light taste olive oil
Pasta – your choice, I used Barilla’s angel hair pasta.
Sauté sausage and onions in Bertolli’s light taste olive oil. My sausage was frozen. I thawed it in the microwave once for a minute. I didn’t want to cook my meat. After the meat and onions were almost done I added frozen greens. Let greens sauté with onions and sausage for about 5 minutes. Then add Barilla’s Traditional sauce and salt to taste. Allow mixture to simmer for about 30 minutes to allow greens to cook. Cook your favorite pasta and top it with this delicious sauce. Then yell dinner for those that can’t smell! Enjoy!
Good morning or good day! I got out of bed late today. I needed to write an online prayer but I couldn’t find the words. I pray every day all day, yet, when it comes to writing public prayers I struggle for words. So! As my soul scrambled to find words to write I scrolled upon Consuello’s prayer for today. BINGO! He always have the right words to offer up to God; therefore, I copied, pasted and shared his prayer, again. Let me thank my Heavenly Father for putting Consuello in my life, once again! Have a wonderful day!
Let us begin this Thursday morning in prayer! FATHER, let us not forget we walk by FAITH, and not sight nor our circumstances! Help us today stand on your word and your promises. You said seek first the Kingdom of God and all your righteousness and all things shall be added unto us. Let your Kingdom and word be the first thing we seek today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
I’ve suffered cruelly from the hands of those that claimed they loved me. I wanted to believe the lies. Better yet I needed to believe they loved me. And, so, I did! And time after time when I found my loving and lovely heart broken I blamed God. God, believe it or not, is an easy target for our misguided anger over life’s disappointments.
Proverbs 4:23-27, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”
God gives us a mental health care map to living peaceful lives. In His instructions He tells us how to deal with and avoid hurting people in Proverbs 4:23-27. We must understand staying busy doing good things help us live our best life.
PRAYER: Father God, this is a new day with your new mercy given to us because of your grace. Help us, help me, to live this day and everyday that’s productive in giving our lives value affirming we’re loved. Amen
When I was too hurt to pray prayers without complaining or feeling negative, God sent a prayer warrior my way. I’m not sure how Consuello Hodges ended up on my Facebook feed; however, his positive posts caught my attention and captivated my wounded soul. Today, may it be always, I’m grateful God saw my need and supplied a solution.
“Let us begin this week in prayer! Father, We’re listening for Your voice even in the midst of immense distractions. The world is spinning in hurt & uncertainty groaning for relief. We’re supposed to be the ones shining a light of hope not joining in the chaos. Help us be who you have called us to be this week. Please strengthen us! In Jesus Name. Amen.”