Seeing his number on caller ID made my day. As I viewed who was calling I deliberated should I tell him about my painful decision.
He lives hundreds of miles away. He’s happy with his relationship choice. He enjoys his job. He views life as it should be lived. One day at a time. He dislikes drama and avoid making comments when I’m in-raged about his older brother. So I wanted to stay clear of upsetting him.
He could tell something was wrong. I told him what happened. He was disappointed it came to the decision I made. He said something like this: “Well, mom, my brother must live his life. The loaning of this money is a lesson to everyone. If my brother doesn’t get the lesson, the lesson will continue to visit him until he gets it.”
Nugget from God:
It’s a good thing to help others that are in need. If they abuse the resources God sends or sent their way then life lessons will continue until they learn whatever they need to learn.
Lord each time I write or speak of the money that my son’s girlfriend refuses to repay I become upset. Today, Lord, I’m asking for God’s peace on a good deed that went bad. I want to move on. Help me find ways to replace what the locust have eaten. Amen
A man was exploring caves by the Seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn’t look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.
He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock . Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!
Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.
Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
It’s like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. It isn’t always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it.
We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.
I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.
Point to ponder: Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends. Life is too short and friends are too few!
‘Do not ask the Lord to Guide your Footsteps if you are not willing to MOVE your Feet’
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. — Paul The Apostle
When I was a child between the ages of four and eleven I was very envious of my cousins. To me they had the cookie cutter mom and the all American home life.
Their mom stayed home. And since my aunt didn’t work she was able to shower her children with love and guidance. On the other hand, my mom, her sister, was a working woman. My mom worked two jobs and she had little to no time for her children. Therefore, me and my siblings were forsaken the love, understanding, and guidance that came from healthy parenting.
My aunt was a woman that took her role as a mom seriously. Each of her children had swimming lessons one day and was taken to the library the next day. She was a mom that made sure dinner was cooked everyday. She was a mom that afforded her children the luxury to explore the heights of their imaginations. She was the kind of mom that all children wish they had but seldom got or get. And even though she was my aunt and a supermom I being her niece was living in parental poverty.
Parental poverty is a doorway that starves the mind from reaching its full life’s potential. Most times parental poverty emotionally starves children of healthy emotions, as it slowly sends the souls of children into hardship. It cripples children from learning and hampers childhood dreams. It cast shadows over the lives of children and makes them question their existence.
And, sadly, my poor mom never realized the full meaning of being a parent. She never really understood her role as a mom or a single mother. Therefore, she never figured out she was for a temporary moment the captain of her children’s lives. In her efforts to provide for her young she failed to see her children were starving for character building nourishment only a parent could give. And as I grew so did my expectations concerning how my mom should parent me.
I hated my mom for not parenting like her sister. I so desperately wanted to learn how to swim. But my mom’s obligation to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table kept her from fulfilling my wishes. And each time one of my child desires went unmet I began to nurture the love hate emotions I cultivated towards my mom.
I was never easy to get along with. I hated my parents and with the exception of my aunt Pearl and her children I hated the rest of my mom’s family. And most of all I hated being black, therefore, I hated my life. And because my mom lacked experience as a nurturer the demands to shelter and feed became a lethal combination.
My mom had no idea she was killing my spirit when she told others I was retarded. And hearing her unkind words cut deeply. But my will to survive was stronger than the words she expressed to others. My will to succeed was predestined and I knew that!
So when I was a child I made clear to self I was going to be someone special. I was going to give to myself what my mom never gave to me, and rebuild what her mean-spirited words had torn down. I was going to show my mom who was retarded!
My long awaited day of exoneration never came the way I thought. My mom has grown old and is now sickly. I became a parent that also made mistakes. And as my mom’s health continues to decline the thoughts of revenge are replaced with compassion. I no longer seek vindication nor does the thought of it appease my wounded soul. By realizing my mom did the best she could with the understanding she had my broken heart was healed. And in acknowledging her deficiency as my mom her overdrawn parental account is paid in full.
“He escorted his girls and changed their shoes from flats to heels. I think that is significant. That’s a huge step for daughters growing up and who better to head them into that stage of their life other than there dad.” ~Sharon Leonard
The above photo is of my first cousin, Marvin Leonard and his daughter. He is my hero!
When I look at this photo my mind quickly rushes back to happier times. Times when family meant cousins were best friends. Aunts and uncles were concerned with your welfare and grandparents loved you more than your parents.
When I look at this photo I just don’t see a season father, but I’m reminded of his giggles, and laughter and the responses of his tattling. Also, as I looking upon this wonderful photo I’m reminded of the moment I felt family prided as he stood before me in his Army uniform. I saw the boy and man roll into one. It was wonderful to see his stature stating he was ready to defend America and the American people. And, today, as his wife posted nothing but sentiments of love for the man she married, again I found myself filled with family prided.
It’s great to know my cousin got marriage and parenting responsibility right! Love you, Pom!
A couple of days ago someone new visited my blog. Therefore, I thought it would be nice to stop by their blog.
As I slowly scrolled down their posts feed I noticed a video that intrigued me. I, being me watched it! Afterwards, I thought it was one of the most powerful music videos I have seen in a long, very long, time. Therefore, I am sharing it with each of you. I hope you find it inspirational.
I dedicate this post to my dear friend Diana Woolfolk Wright McKnight. My heart and prayers are with you doing this difficult time of your life.
A young woman told her mother about her life and how things were so hard. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?”
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, Mother?”
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity — boiling water — but each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them?
I wonder how many people have heard the phrase “do not wear out your welcome.” Hum . . . I first heard the expression from my grandmother when I was young.
Back when I was once a kid, and a know-it-all, it seemed my late maternal grandmother would always say those words to my cousins, my siblings and me. I’m not sure how my family members took her wisdom; but back when I was a child I thought my grandmother was old, uncaring, uneducated, mean-spirited, and truly out of touch with the mental and emotional needs of the young. [chuckle]
I can remember as if it was yesterday sassing her for this or that. But nothing stands out more than the time she would not let me go over to my cousin’s house as often as I wanted. And, sadly, it was late into my adult years before I understood the meaning ‘do not wear out your welcome.’
As I’m looking back on things and reflecting upon how I dismissed her words of caution, I now understand why my life was filled with heartaches.
I hate to admit to myself but I deserved all the bumps I got from being hardheaded; and my self enlightenment really makes me feel foolish about things I had blame on others.
Well, any-who-how . . . It was by divine revelation I found the phrase in the Bible one day. I was shocked! It was amazing to read that God gives his children the same warning!
Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you. Proverbs 25:17
The message I get from this passage is: don’t be so darn clingy! Get a life! Explore parts of your life without others. Enjoy family when can. And remember a bit of you goes a long ways.
I’m coming to terms with my granny’s wisdom. My grandmother has passed but her words live on. And each day that I live I think about her abrasive and unharness wisdom. I’m learning she was indeed the smartest woman I will ever know and most of all she loved me.
Recently, I purchased a new Amish love story by Kelly Long. She’s a new author for me. But I needed something to read and enjoy during moments of downtime. And the title Lilly’s Wedding Quilt intrigued me. So it was plucked off the shelf and placed into my basket with great anticipation for a romantic adventure. But my limited vocabulary has made it hard for me to enjoy the book. As I reflect upon my frustrations in having to stop reading to look for the meanings of words I probably will never use I find my behavior childish. Honesty, I feel my juvenile outlook during reading this book keeps me stagnant in building my vocabulary. So to keep me interested in reading what seems to be a great novel I have decided to use the words I do not know on Vocabulary Mondays.