Quote for Today: We raise girls to cater to the fragile egos of men

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Photo credit:  Rex
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Photo credit: Rex

We raise girls to cater to the fragile  egos of men. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We tell girls ‘you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man……

We teach girls shame – close your legs, cover yourself!! We make them feel as though by being born female they’re already guilty of something.  And so girls grow up to be a woman who cannot see they have desire.  They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up – and this is the worst thing we do to girls – they grow up to be women who turn pretense into an art form.  ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Taboo Tuesdays: There Are NO Perfect Parents

Photo taken by:  A. Harrison
Photo taken by: A. Harrison

For the past couple of months I have corresponded with a female family member.  She lives with a man, age 28, that has custodial issues with his child’s mother.

It seems he has problems keeping a job and a roof over his head.  And now that she lives with him, it seems he struggles with keeping a roof over her head.  Should he gain custody of his child, the hand-writing on the wall clearly shows he won’t be able to keep a roof over his child’s head either.  Yet, my young impetuous family member feels she and this guy are more suitable to raise the child than its mother!

Ooh!  I forgot to add, my young and gullible family member is only twenty-one years old.  She seems to believe living life as an adult is stupid.  Well at any rate with her childlike behavior she has been told by whoever, whomever, she is more suited to raise another woman’s child.  And with that noted I want to say the following:

It pisses me off to the highest of pisstivity when parents move on and find foolish people who believe they would make a better parent to children than the custodial or non-custodial parent.  And, trust me when I write, it really does rip my seat of toleration when these foolish people truly believe they are better than the parent in question.

Children don’t come with manuals.  And every parent (male or female) will make mistakes in parenting.  And I don’t give a hoot who spouts they are the better parent!  There are no perfect parents!  There are parents that do the best they can with what they have.  There are parents that are good parents because they do exceptional jobs at parenting!  But there are no perfect parents!  Like there are no perfect children.

 

Paying It Forwards: Gratefulness for Employement

The Dalai LamaThe video that I’m sharing today pricked my memory.  It brought to the forefront the importance of parents planning for their children’s future for in their untimely death.

I was angered at the sight of seeing children being abused.  Viewing the video made me feel helpless as a woman and certainly as a mom!   Without thought I wanted to find the man in the video and beat him with his stick!  It was clear to see the man was an ungrateful person.  The punishment he was handing out to parentless children for whatever reason was abuse.  And I wanted him to feel the sting of abuse he deserved.  I wanted him to feel a hard bald fist hit from an angry and very pissed off mother.  I wanted to be those kids protector.  I wanted to give them the loving shelter of a mother’s care.  I wanted to forget that I was a woman and whip his [implicative deleted]!  I’m still upset!  And like I said his actions pricked my memory.  Well any way . . .

When I was a young single mother I was sold a life insurance policy I could not afford.  What prompt me to buy life insurance was the untimely death of my younger, and only, brother.

Later people looking to profit and move up within a pyramid financial company tried to get me to stop the policy.  But I was bent on keeping it because I wanted to leave my son’s a little something should I die.  And I thank God for common sense!  Because, honestly, their sales-pitch came across as fishy as they tried to sell me a policy I did not need nor want.

They weren’t concern with what would happen to my children in the case of my death.  All they wanted was a sale like the first insurance salesperson.  And what I needed during this particular moment, as a single mom with three young children, was someone who knew the insurance business and knew about life.  Other words, I needed someone to help me make final financial arrangements for my young dependents.

I called my auto insurance agent and told her my dilemma.  She arranged a meeting with me to discuss affordable life insurance.

The meeting went well.  She sold me a policy that would fit my strained income.  But before she sold me the policy she asked me the below questions:

  1. How much is your mortgage?
  2. How many children do you have?
  3. How big is your house?
  4. How old are your children?

Then she went on to express the importance of having life insurance.  She could not guarantee that my children would not be mistreated.  But I clearly remember her saying that if they weren’t a financial burden to others they would probably be treated okay.  She included my mortgage in the policy in case the caretaker needed a place to stay.  She said the other half should be placed into a trust fund for the boys college expenses.  And she pointed out my Social Security could pay for their living expenses while they were under the age of 18.

Like I stated earlier, I found the video very disturbing.  It was clear to see the horrid man was not thankful for having employment.  His lack in kindness prevented him from being grateful; therefore, it was easy for him to cross the threshold of abuse.  Because had the man been grateful for employment he would have found a kinder and constructive way to punish the children.

http://youtu.be/pcX-WqFLKn4

A Dad’s Speech At His Daughter’s Wedding

Photographer:  Artis Harrison
Photographer: Artis Harrison

Today I found this very beautiful story from a dad to his daughter’s new family on Social Meems.  So I’m sharing it with you.  Happy reading!

I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!

I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy!

She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy!

If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her—please keep her happy!

I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy.

Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy”!

– Dedicated to all fathers

 

Inspirational Fridays: Liang Yaoyi and The Courage to Face Death

No Life Should be Lived in Vain

Liang YaoyiAs I ponder for meaning to the end of a young life I searched for meaning to my existence.  The world has lost a key-player.  His name is Liang Yaoyi.  He was only 11 years old when he died a heroic death of a man.  He lost his life fearlessly to brain cancer.  Which means he did not leave the earth as a beaten spectator.  He was in the game of life!  And he was indeed a key-player that world will miss because . . .

Had he lived he would have became a doctor with purpose.  He would have been a trail blazer to the world of medical science.  He would have set the world on fire with new medical ideas.  His ideas would have taken medicine to greater heights as his love for life became contagious.

His unselfish dying decree surrender him as a leader that understood he had came to the end of his journey.  And what is so amazing about his death is:  Liang Yaoyi passed the torch of life by donating his liver and kidneys as he bravely recognized he own life was ending.

And I do hope you realize I am writing about the bravery of an 11 year old boy.  Fate gave him choices that have spiritually flatten adults; but, he fought to the end of his life with a gallant spirit of a victorious man.  RIP Liang Yaoyi for your young life was not lived in vain.  [tears]

Inspirational Fridays: Sisters Episode 1: Strawberries

If you are having a bum of a day you gotta watch this video!  It will keep you in laughing for hours!  My question is “Does anyone really converse like this?”  Laughter!

What! Who Doesn’t Want to Go to Disney World?

This video is priceless (totally not what I expected)!  Laughter!  What person doesn’t want to go to Disney World?!!!  They must be insane or something [laughing hysterically].  But after seeing this video your heart will break.  It will have total compassion for the little person that doesn’t feel the same as most of the world when it comes to visiting the most famous place of all.  Disney World!

 

Inspirational Fridays: Trouble Getting Going?

Family Travel TrailerI just got back from a five-day camping trip.  My family and I decided to join a friend and her family at a local state park.  I knew preparing for the mini-vacation would be a chore; since, I have been emotionally and physically tired for years.  But a vacation of some sort was a high priority.  So, when my friend told me that she and her family was going camping at Boyd Lake State Park, I reserved a camping spot for my family and me to join her and her family.

My friend was too excited to have us come with.  She had made plans for us as a group to do this and that.  She had made her trailer as the command central.  She had even planned several of our meals (without consulting me).  Her efforts were those of a true friend but her services were not totally needed.  As you can see, my dearest and sweetest friend took it upon herself to make plans for everyone without consulting with anybody.  And had the women of both families checked with each other about the trip perhaps hurt feelings could have been avoided.

My friend had failed to see I wanted some me time.  I wanted to escape the demands of my demanding life.  I wanted to sit and or lay in the comforts of cleanliness.  I wanted to enjoy my trailer that has been for years a BIG source of disappointment in some mental capacity.  But, nevertheless [sigh], the trailer belongs to me and mine and we love it despite of all the headaches it has given us.  And we are always overjoyed to use it when it is not in the shop for months at a time because it was poorly made.

However, with all that was going on mentally, I had very little time to freely think about the direction of my life until now.

I got the below YouTube video from a fellow blogger and I thought I would share the powerful message with you:

Saturday Funnies: Being Green

Photo taken from:  http://www.elephantjournal.com/
Photo taken from:  www.elephantjournal.com

Well, I found another email message I thought was cute enough to pass on.  This one is about a young person lecturing an older person on being considerate of the earth and all its inhabitants.

Being Green 

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this ‘green thing’ back in my earlier days.”

The young clerk responded, “That’s our problem today.  Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the ‘green thing’ in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store.
The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks.

This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But too bad we didn’t do the “green thing” back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building.
We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn’t have the “green thing” in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throwaway kind.
We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.

Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn.

We used a push mower that ran on human power.  We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right; we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn’t have the “green thing” back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family’s $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the “green thing.”

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.  And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad that the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the “green thing” back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart … young person…

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off, especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smart ass who can’t make change without the cash register telling them how much.

Thank You !!!

The Prayer’s of Black Women: The Story of Jonah by Mary Margaret

November 11, 2021

3 But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD.

Jonah 1:3

This is Throwback Thursday! So! I’m reposting one of my favorite posts. I first shared this video on June 15, 2014, at 6:45 am. It appears 7 years later I will be reposting this wonderful video around the same time.

So much has happened within those seven years of living life. I’ve lost my mom. I’ve become a great grandmother! I’m told my oldest grandson’s girlfriend is having twins. My children are doing great, making wonderful lives for themselves. Two wonderful women have been added to my family, along with a host of new friends and family members. And all of that good stuff can’t compare to my spiritual growth. I’m over the moon concerning my spiritual journey. It has been tough and often I’ve felt like throwing in the towel but . . . OMG! My life is on fire because of my spiritual awakening! And this repost can’t be more appropriate when it comes to sharing what I learned from my latest lesson.

LESSON LEARNED: God loves everyone, including our enemies and people that come across as unlovable. He expects us to show those that are lost or have lost their way compassion. Our actions will light the path for His love and mercy to become healing ointments. Bottom line! God wants all of us to be saved despite our differences. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Lord, my recent private prayer request was that you cover my enemies with your blood. I wanted the blood of Jesus to open their understanding. Allowing them to see they were their greatest obstacle when it came to not getting money bequeath to them. But how can they see when everyone spiritually in their life is superficial. Show me how to pray for them. There is nothing worse than being lost in the maze of life. Amen   

PARAGRAPH FROM 2014

I have been in church for nearly 53 years.   And I have never heard the story of Jonah with so much feeling.  Mary Margaret is full of passion for telling this great story.  Her passion causes her to be very (and I do mean very) animated.  Enjoy this cute little girl telling the story of Jonah.