I am not going to be licked by tragedy, as life is a challenge, and we must carry on and work for the living as well as mourn for the dead.
Death couldn’t get any closer. The number of days were tallied for my beloved mom. She was 85 years old. I don’t know if my wish was selfish or not but, I her daughter wanted her to live beyond that number. If the Universe could have only given me one more year with her. But! Then I would want her to have another year after that. So, there was no winning with me for the Universe when it came to my mom dying. Because! I didn’t want her to die!
Love is a wonderful thing. And being my mom’s chosen and now court appointed personal representative robbed me of the rights to grieve her loss. Her death entered me into a battle when my thoughts were cloudy with grief.
People, oh the many of them, had planned my demise long before the “ole’ girl died.” And! After she died . . . They were hitting me from every imaginable and unimaginable angle! And should you become a personal representative the same could be awaiting for you! Especially if heirs are delusional to what they feel entitled. Therefore, don’t do crazy today. Do you!
Take a deep awaited sigh. Not a breath but a sigh. Put a photo of your loved one on your working station. Remember you were chosen because the deceased knew you could and would represent them well. Stand tall! And plant your thoughts in knowing everything you need is within you. And should you find yourself coming up short give the issues to your attorney.
Yesterday the struggle was real! OMG! I can not believe I was having withdrawals from being on Facebook. Today is a little better but I still have urges to log into my social media account to see what is currently happening in my friends, family, loved ones and the world. But! I’m not going to give into my desire. Instead, I’m committing to cleaning my kitchen and eradicating my emotions from the baggage of others.
As God would have it I was faced with choices concerning my torn relationship with my grand daughter. She sees me as a negative in her life and never a friend or a person that cares deeply for her and her outcome. My truth telling has hurt her beyond her ability to see logic. As a result, she tell private things about me in order to gain some type of satisfaction in shaming me before others. As if shaming me will fix what really ills her soul. Well any who how . . . . She has drawn her line in the sand and set her boundaries. They are loud and clear. I must and will respect them. With that stated, I don’t think she realize once she made her choices her decisions created choices for me.
I wish her well. At the moment their can never be a point return. Sometimes you must cut the cancer out in order for the body to survive.
Most of you know that I enjoy couponing. I really enjoy giving to others. But for the past year what I have learned about me is that I HATE hypocrites!
I get all kinds of thoughts coming across my Facebook feed. Most of it is well wishing something personal, some of it deals with cruelty to animals, but the bulk of it deals with racism in America. Let me return to the subject of me couponing.
When I started my money-saving journey I never knew the doors of understanding that would open because of a paradigm change. In the last year I’ve lost friends for various reasons and most of those friends claim to be extremely religious or extremely knowledgeable about sex, race, religion, politics, and all other things that goes along with living life. And as I began to coupon I found myself in a spiritual place I didn’t even know exist and was able to read the hearts of those that claimed to love me.
I found myself caring less of what the world thinks of me as a black person. I found myself caring less of how people viewed my beloved car that is missing a quarter of its front bumper, a broken pulled down latched that was done by a Walmart worker. I found that my opinion mattered despite the rejections of others. I found I could validate another person’s opinion even though I didn’t agree with their belief. I found myself feeling more put off by folks forcing themselves in my life in one form or another. I found myself being inspired by the single good-looking younger than me caring about morals successful business owner man down the street. I found myself reflecting upon my marital vows and how I treat the guy that goes to work everyday and misses sleep because he must get his load to the buyer on time. I began to really put thought to how he gives me his paycheck each week (should he make a check) and questioned if I could do the same. I found myself wondering how I was going to pay back all the student loans my youngest took out in his name to attend college. And for you folks that feel my youngest should pay his student loans, close your pie holes! Please!
As my son’s parent it’s my job to see that he gets the best start in life. And! Since I made such a mess of my life by making poor decisions when I was young and netted nothing financially to aid my children when it came to helping them enter into the world as successful adults, then my son’s student loan repayments became mines because his entry into adulthood debt free is my job as his parent.
But the thing I’ve learned from couponing is that it takes all kinds of people to make this a beautiful world.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one. Matthew 6:9 – 13
Heavenly Father thank you for this day we have never seen before. Father God it’s Sunday! Someone will wake up sad because they are lonely. Can you please give them your joy by filling their hearts and minds with your perfect love and perfect peace. Amen
Sometimes it seems there are just two types of women. There are destiny’s darlings, those lucky ones sent into the world prepared and primed for this lifetime — born knowing their destiny. you hear about such women; they always knew they were meant to create, to lead, to mend broken lives or broken bones; to perform, to teach, to guide a thoroughbred to a first-place finish.
Sometimes I wonder if I was born to be a “destiny’s darlings” and life events redirected my choices and I became one of those women Sarah described as “doomed from our kindergarten report cards to go stumbling toward our destiny. Often unfocused and fidgety. Tendency to stare dreamily into space. Side-tracked and scattered. Stubborn! Too sensitive for her own good; feelings easily hurt. However, plays nicely with others.”
As I reflect on a conversation with a young woman I’m in agreeance with Sarah “We’d love to think that our life’s journey is linear, but we stumble in fits and starts on our way to authenticity.”
I’m afraid too many people, including myself, look to others for success proof answers to living a life that only we can design.
This drug seems to appeal to incredibly smart, talented, and particularly sensitive people. To me one of the most important battlefronts for today’s parents is the prevalence of prescription narcotics and the role they play in the social lives of young people. They’re regarded by young people as “harmless” because it’s just something your mom was prescribed for her back. It’s no big deal. But it’s essentially heroin. And once the prescription drugs are difficult to obtain, heroin is the next best solution. And it seems it’s almost impossible to kick…for many. Thanks everyone, for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. —Rachel McIntyre
Today, I had barely gotten the sleep nuggets out of my eyes when I stumbled to my computer. I needed to check my Facebook message center. I had made a promise to a young woman with a small family that I would teach her the art of couponing. Yes, I will teach others how to coupon. I think all people should coupon [chuckling to myself].
Well any-who-how, as I sat at the computer the first post that stared me in my face was from this guy I feel hates blacks. Honestly his posts usually scream I hate everything and especially blacks. And when he spreads his hate among his 2,000 friends, I try not to make comments on them. And when I make comments I’m usually involved in delusional conversations that sickens me to my stomach. Because from where I’m perched in life, I feel and have seen everyone with the ability to mess up their lives, to want something for free, to think they’ve been discriminated against for various reasons and such.
Why am I friends with him? I don’t know! I have mix emotions about him being on my feed but there are days when I learn from his disdain. There are days when I enjoy his wittiness on some subject matters he and I do agree on. But this post isn’t about him nor me.
This blog post is about the awareness of drugs, drug abuse, and realizing the misuse of drugs can affected anyone. Those who do drugs I keep close to my heart and in my prayers. Drugs are the things in life that do not and will never discriminate.
Drugs are given life when a person takes advantage of another human-being. Drugs are given life when those that feel they won’t become dependent on them take or use them for whatever reason. Drugs are given life when its value is worth more than the lives they destroy. So please take a moment to watch this video of a family tragedy that has turned into a forever heartache.
He thought he was being cute! But! Whatever! Jeff! What the hell ever! LOL’s!
Jeff and I got on the topic of my personality, last Sunday, as I was clipping coupons and organizing my coupon binders. His description of me helped me understand why I never got along with a lot of my family members.
But! Yes! You read correctly. I have coupon binders. That means I have more than one binder. As a matter of fact I have three binders. And, honestly, I need a fourth binder. But I’m trying to keep my coupons in three binders for now.
However, learning about my personality was a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I was glad to hear someone describe my personality, because for years I thought there was something wrong with me. For years I tried to fit in molds others had created for me. And for years as I tried to live as others would have me I was so very unhappy.
I’m happy to be an A type personality. And if others don’t like me because of my personality then they can take a long walk off a short pier.
This morning I woke to a spiritual headache. I was so angry with a loved one. They had asked for my help and did not take my advice. Thus, causing them to suffer even more at the hands of those I deemed as snakes.
In my frustration I called a friend. Before she could tell me anything I was complaining about the situation.
I wanted to cry. I thought I needed to cry. But I could not cry. I told my friend “When you are in a den of snakes you walk carefully. You don’t want to step on a snake because they can bite you.”
My friend listened. She was patient despite her hunger. She had just gotten out of bed and was just starting her day.
My friend is one of those people who makes her bed before she leaves her room. She’s a person that takes her shower in the morning as soon as her feet hit the floor. And! Yes! She’s one of those people who gets dress for the day. Afterwards, she makes herself a cup of coffee, a small breakfast and begins cooking dinner. By noon day she has finished all her chores and dinner is ready long before evening mealtime. So my early morning call truly interrupted her schedule; and for that I’m sorry I allowed my emotions to get away from me.
As I vented I realized my intense mood. Then my friend said, “We’re not going to think like that. Don’t think like that.” And the next thing I knew my mood changed for the better. I was calm. My negative thoughts were veering towards positive thoughts. I was happy again. And, as a result, I was open to God and the Universe. My openness brought forth the below fruit of wisdom:
Snakes are sometimes perceived as evil, but they are also perceived as medicine. If you look at an ambulance, there’s the two snakes on the side of the ambulance. The caduceus, or the staff of Hermes, there’s the two snakes going up it, which means that the venom can also be healing. —Nicolas Cage
Nearly 35 years ago I made a choice that would change my life forever. As an inexperience teenager I made an adult decision to become a parent. And without realizing I had cultivated a strong discontent for my youthful choice I never forgive the girl within for making such a decision.