Day Five: Son’s Need Encouragement

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERATO MY SON

I look to you with hope and pride;
I see your future brightly.
Your deep concerns and aspirations
I will not take lightly.

The future is a mystery
That everyone explores.
I’ll share your possibilities,
Embrace your distant shores.

I’ll answer you when questions stir,
Encourage you, implore you.
But life’s a challenge shaped by dreams,
A gift I can’t live for you.

So live it well; respect it full;
Play your spirit out.
Seek and then discover
All the best that life’s about.

Remember that you’re not alone—
My love is always there.
The challenge that defines your life
My heart will gladly share.

You’re on a voyage into time,
A trip to somewhere new.
You may not always see me there,
But I’ll be there with you.

–Bruce B. Wilmer

Don’t Judge My Mom

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. — Paul The Apostle


 

My mom Gloria Mae - Photographer:  Unknown
My mom Gloria Mae – Photographer: Unknown

When I was a child between the ages of four and eleven I was very envious of my cousins.  To me they had the cookie cutter mom and the all American home life.

Their mom stayed home.  And since my aunt didn’t work she was able to shower her children with love and guidance.  On the other hand, my mom, her sister, was a working woman.  My mom worked two jobs and she had little to no time for her children.  Therefore, me and my siblings were forsaken the love, understanding, and guidance that came from healthy parenting.

My aunt was a woman that took her role as a mom seriously.  Each of her children had swimming lessons one day and was taken to the library the next day.  She was a mom that made sure dinner was cooked everyday.  She was a mom that afforded her children the luxury to explore the heights of their imaginations.  She was the kind of mom that all children wish they had but seldom got or get.  And even though she was my aunt and a supermom I being her niece was living in parental poverty.

Parental poverty is a doorway that starves the mind from reaching its full life’s potential.  Most times parental poverty emotionally starves children of healthy emotions, as it slowly sends the souls of children into hardship.   It cripples children from learning and hampers childhood dreams.  It cast shadows over the lives of children and makes them question their existence.

And, sadly, my poor mom never realized the full meaning of being a parent.  She never really understood her role as a mom or a single mother.  Therefore, she never figured out she was for a temporary moment the captain of her children’s lives.  In her efforts to provide for her young she failed to see her children were starving for character building nourishment only a parent could give.  And as I grew so did my expectations concerning how my mom should parent me.

I hated my mom for not parenting like her sister.  I so desperately wanted to learn how to swim.  But my mom’s obligation to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table kept her from fulfilling my wishes.  And each time one of my child desires went unmet I began to nurture the love hate emotions I cultivated towards my mom.

I was never easy to get along with.  I hated my parents and with the exception of my aunt Pearl and her children I hated the rest of my mom’s family.   And most of all I hated being black, therefore, I hated my life.  And because my mom lacked experience as a nurturer the demands to shelter and feed became a lethal combination.

My mom had no idea she was killing my spirit when she told others I was retarded.  And hearing her unkind words cut deeply.  But my will to survive was stronger than the words she expressed to others.  My will to succeed was predestined and I knew that!

So when I was a child I made clear to self I was going to be someone special.  I was going to give to myself what my mom never gave to me, and rebuild what her mean-spirited words had torn down.  I was going to show my mom who was retarded!

My mom and me
My mom and me

My long awaited day of exoneration never came the way I thought.  My mom has grown old and is now sickly.  I became a parent that also made mistakes.  And as my mom’s health continues to decline the thoughts of revenge are replaced with compassion.  I no longer seek vindication nor does the thought of it appease my wounded soul.  By realizing my mom did the best she could with the understanding she had my broken heart was healed.  And in acknowledging her deficiency as my mom her overdrawn parental account is paid in full.

 

A Beautiful Woman’s Advice on Loving Life

What! Who Doesn’t Want to Go to Disney World?

This video is priceless (totally not what I expected)!  Laughter!  What person doesn’t want to go to Disney World?!!!  They must be insane or something [laughing hysterically].  But after seeing this video your heart will break.  It will have total compassion for the little person that doesn’t feel the same as most of the world when it comes to visiting the most famous place of all.  Disney World!

 

Do Some Women Really Want Thug Love?

Man going to prisonI’ve been silent on Facebook for the past couple of days; but a friend posted this article of a fine young man I thought would make for interesting reading material.  Not sure of his race but he does have some black in him.  However, I guess someone has decided to do a fundraiser to pay this good-looking mans bail.  His bail is set for $900,000!  Wow!  I know!  Right!  He is truly a bad boy indeed . . .

Well, I’m sharing the thoughts of another writer, that I agree with, about this young mans criminal rise to fame among the women because he is eye-candy:

You know there are some days where I’m embarrassed to be a woman. Today is one of those days. The mugshot of Jeremy Meeks has gone viral and the comments from WOMEN are vulgar and disgusting. On some sites his picture has gotten 45K likes and even up to over 200K likes.

His charges are as follows:

“The 30-year-old Stockton, CA convicted felon is being held on $900,000 bail for illegally possessing firearms and ammo, carrying a loaded firearm in public and criminal street gang activity. The specific charge is street terrorism.”

In addition to the comments on the picture, I’ve read comments of women stating the sexually explicit things they would do to him, how they love thugs and want to have his babies.

And we have the nerve to complain about the lack of good men! Apparently we aren’t looking for a good man. We want that thug love. That thug passion. The Bad Boy.

This is very telling of the state of mind that women have today. We are forward. We are thirsty. We are sexually aggressive. And of course this showcases another form of hypocrisy. We chatise Men for their reaction to women and their looks and here we are fawning over a criminal!

We’d be all over men if the roles were reversed. We’d call them dogs, berate them and of course remind them that this is why good women are being passed over but we are to busy passing ourselves to bad boys to notice the good men.

And if a criminal catches our eye and makes us lose control it’s very easy to see how we end up in dysfunctional relationships with multiple baby daddies. It doesn’t take much. Be attractive. Be a thug. Have no ambition but I’ll have your babies. ..then I’ll complain about the bum I laid down with knowing you were a bum when I met you.

Good men are an afterthought after we let the bad boys run through us. Give us children. Sit around our house while WE pay the bills. Get disrespected. Then after we have a high body mileage we want the good man. We want him to play Daddy to the children we had with the bad boy or bad boys. The same men we mocked we look for them to marry us.

So we look for the cream of the crop to wife up bottom feeders. And I say bottom feeders because we were fueled by our lower selves.

“One user has set up a Facebook fan page for Meeks, who is being held in the San Joaquin County Jail on $900,000 bail.”

This is what we’re willing to do for a CRIMINAL. ..but let our Baby Daddy be behind on his child support…we’d show him NO mercy.

 — with Renée Mills.

Throwback Thursdays: Barbara Billingsley on Jive Talking

Well I learned something new today!  

I learned that most black people speak Jive.  This coded language that has unified American black people for decades is now called slang.  So far Jive remains unrecognized by most as a survival language that is mostly spoken among blacks.  The funny thing is Jive is a language that has been passed down from generation to generation despite educational successes within the black community.  Yet, society continues to equate this language with ignorance.  When in fact Jive is probably the first unity language created in America.  

Thou I try to remove the jargon from my vocabulary I must admit it makes me feel whole when I am with other blacks.  Honestly, knowing slang/Jive helps me to contact to a group or race of people who are rejected by society.  And perhaps that’s why so many young men and women from other races try to learn it.  

Maybe the young got it!  Maybe they realize Jive is a unity language that connects dislocated people.  I’m just sayin’ . . . maybe all young people feel dislocated in some fashion.  So to connect they speak slang.  Hum . . .           

 

The Prayer’s of Black Women: The Rite of Passage

“He escorted his girls and changed their shoes from flats to heels. I think that is significant. That’s a huge step for daughters growing up and who better to head them into that stage of their life other than there dad.”  ~Sharon Leonard

Marvin and his daughter

The above photo is of my first cousin, Marvin Leonard and his daughter.  He is my hero!

When I look at this photo my mind quickly rushes back to happier times.  Times when family meant cousins were best friends.  Aunts and uncles were concerned with your welfare and grandparents loved you more than your parents.

When I look at this photo I just don’t see a season father, but I’m reminded of his giggles, and laughter and the responses of his tattling.  Also, as I looking upon this wonderful photo I’m reminded of the moment I felt family prided as he stood before me in his Army uniform.  I saw the boy and man roll into one.  It was wonderful to see his stature stating he was ready to defend America and the American people.  And, today, as his wife posted nothing but sentiments of love for the man she married, again I found myself filled with family prided.

It’s great to know my cousin got marriage and parenting responsibility right!  Love you, Pom!