Day Five: Son’s Need Encouragement

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERATO MY SON

I look to you with hope and pride;
I see your future brightly.
Your deep concerns and aspirations
I will not take lightly.

The future is a mystery
That everyone explores.
I’ll share your possibilities,
Embrace your distant shores.

I’ll answer you when questions stir,
Encourage you, implore you.
But life’s a challenge shaped by dreams,
A gift I can’t live for you.

So live it well; respect it full;
Play your spirit out.
Seek and then discover
All the best that life’s about.

Remember that you’re not alone—
My love is always there.
The challenge that defines your life
My heart will gladly share.

You’re on a voyage into time,
A trip to somewhere new.
You may not always see me there,
But I’ll be there with you.

–Bruce B. Wilmer

Don’t Judge My Mom

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. — Paul The Apostle


 

My mom Gloria Mae - Photographer:  Unknown
My mom Gloria Mae – Photographer: Unknown

When I was a child between the ages of four and eleven I was very envious of my cousins.  To me they had the cookie cutter mom and the all American home life.

Their mom stayed home.  And since my aunt didn’t work she was able to shower her children with love and guidance.  On the other hand, my mom, her sister, was a working woman.  My mom worked two jobs and she had little to no time for her children.  Therefore, me and my siblings were forsaken the love, understanding, and guidance that came from healthy parenting.

My aunt was a woman that took her role as a mom seriously.  Each of her children had swimming lessons one day and was taken to the library the next day.  She was a mom that made sure dinner was cooked everyday.  She was a mom that afforded her children the luxury to explore the heights of their imaginations.  She was the kind of mom that all children wish they had but seldom got or get.  And even though she was my aunt and a supermom I being her niece was living in parental poverty.

Parental poverty is a doorway that starves the mind from reaching its full life’s potential.  Most times parental poverty emotionally starves children of healthy emotions, as it slowly sends the souls of children into hardship.   It cripples children from learning and hampers childhood dreams.  It cast shadows over the lives of children and makes them question their existence.

And, sadly, my poor mom never realized the full meaning of being a parent.  She never really understood her role as a mom or a single mother.  Therefore, she never figured out she was for a temporary moment the captain of her children’s lives.  In her efforts to provide for her young she failed to see her children were starving for character building nourishment only a parent could give.  And as I grew so did my expectations concerning how my mom should parent me.

I hated my mom for not parenting like her sister.  I so desperately wanted to learn how to swim.  But my mom’s obligation to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table kept her from fulfilling my wishes.  And each time one of my child desires went unmet I began to nurture the love hate emotions I cultivated towards my mom.

I was never easy to get along with.  I hated my parents and with the exception of my aunt Pearl and her children I hated the rest of my mom’s family.   And most of all I hated being black, therefore, I hated my life.  And because my mom lacked experience as a nurturer the demands to shelter and feed became a lethal combination.

My mom had no idea she was killing my spirit when she told others I was retarded.  And hearing her unkind words cut deeply.  But my will to survive was stronger than the words she expressed to others.  My will to succeed was predestined and I knew that!

So when I was a child I made clear to self I was going to be someone special.  I was going to give to myself what my mom never gave to me, and rebuild what her mean-spirited words had torn down.  I was going to show my mom who was retarded!

My mom and me
My mom and me

My long awaited day of exoneration never came the way I thought.  My mom has grown old and is now sickly.  I became a parent that also made mistakes.  And as my mom’s health continues to decline the thoughts of revenge are replaced with compassion.  I no longer seek vindication nor does the thought of it appease my wounded soul.  By realizing my mom did the best she could with the understanding she had my broken heart was healed.  And in acknowledging her deficiency as my mom her overdrawn parental account is paid in full.

 

A Beautiful Woman’s Advice on Loving Life

What! Who Doesn’t Want to Go to Disney World?

This video is priceless (totally not what I expected)!  Laughter!  What person doesn’t want to go to Disney World?!!!  They must be insane or something [laughing hysterically].  But after seeing this video your heart will break.  It will have total compassion for the little person that doesn’t feel the same as most of the world when it comes to visiting the most famous place of all.  Disney World!

 

Do Some Women Really Want Thug Love?

Man going to prisonI’ve been silent on Facebook for the past couple of days; but a friend posted this article of a fine young man I thought would make for interesting reading material.  Not sure of his race but he does have some black in him.  However, I guess someone has decided to do a fundraiser to pay this good-looking mans bail.  His bail is set for $900,000!  Wow!  I know!  Right!  He is truly a bad boy indeed . . .

Well, I’m sharing the thoughts of another writer, that I agree with, about this young mans criminal rise to fame among the women because he is eye-candy:

You know there are some days where I’m embarrassed to be a woman. Today is one of those days. The mugshot of Jeremy Meeks has gone viral and the comments from WOMEN are vulgar and disgusting. On some sites his picture has gotten 45K likes and even up to over 200K likes.

His charges are as follows:

“The 30-year-old Stockton, CA convicted felon is being held on $900,000 bail for illegally possessing firearms and ammo, carrying a loaded firearm in public and criminal street gang activity. The specific charge is street terrorism.”

In addition to the comments on the picture, I’ve read comments of women stating the sexually explicit things they would do to him, how they love thugs and want to have his babies.

And we have the nerve to complain about the lack of good men! Apparently we aren’t looking for a good man. We want that thug love. That thug passion. The Bad Boy.

This is very telling of the state of mind that women have today. We are forward. We are thirsty. We are sexually aggressive. And of course this showcases another form of hypocrisy. We chatise Men for their reaction to women and their looks and here we are fawning over a criminal!

We’d be all over men if the roles were reversed. We’d call them dogs, berate them and of course remind them that this is why good women are being passed over but we are to busy passing ourselves to bad boys to notice the good men.

And if a criminal catches our eye and makes us lose control it’s very easy to see how we end up in dysfunctional relationships with multiple baby daddies. It doesn’t take much. Be attractive. Be a thug. Have no ambition but I’ll have your babies. ..then I’ll complain about the bum I laid down with knowing you were a bum when I met you.

Good men are an afterthought after we let the bad boys run through us. Give us children. Sit around our house while WE pay the bills. Get disrespected. Then after we have a high body mileage we want the good man. We want him to play Daddy to the children we had with the bad boy or bad boys. The same men we mocked we look for them to marry us.

So we look for the cream of the crop to wife up bottom feeders. And I say bottom feeders because we were fueled by our lower selves.

“One user has set up a Facebook fan page for Meeks, who is being held in the San Joaquin County Jail on $900,000 bail.”

This is what we’re willing to do for a CRIMINAL. ..but let our Baby Daddy be behind on his child support…we’d show him NO mercy.

 — with Renée Mills.

Throwback Thursdays: Barbara Billingsley on Jive Talking

Well I learned something new today!  

I learned that most black people speak Jive.  This coded language that has unified American black people for decades is now called slang.  So far Jive remains unrecognized by most as a survival language that is mostly spoken among blacks.  The funny thing is Jive is a language that has been passed down from generation to generation despite educational successes within the black community.  Yet, society continues to equate this language with ignorance.  When in fact Jive is probably the first unity language created in America.  

Thou I try to remove the jargon from my vocabulary I must admit it makes me feel whole when I am with other blacks.  Honestly, knowing slang/Jive helps me to contact to a group or race of people who are rejected by society.  And perhaps that’s why so many young men and women from other races try to learn it.  

Maybe the young got it!  Maybe they realize Jive is a unity language that connects dislocated people.  I’m just sayin’ . . . maybe all young people feel dislocated in some fashion.  So to connect they speak slang.  Hum . . .           

 

The Prayer’s of Black Women: The Rite of Passage

“He escorted his girls and changed their shoes from flats to heels. I think that is significant. That’s a huge step for daughters growing up and who better to head them into that stage of their life other than there dad.”  ~Sharon Leonard

Marvin and his daughter

The above photo is of my first cousin, Marvin Leonard and his daughter.  He is my hero!

When I look at this photo my mind quickly rushes back to happier times.  Times when family meant cousins were best friends.  Aunts and uncles were concerned with your welfare and grandparents loved you more than your parents.

When I look at this photo I just don’t see a season father, but I’m reminded of his giggles, and laughter and the responses of his tattling.  Also, as I looking upon this wonderful photo I’m reminded of the moment I felt family prided as he stood before me in his Army uniform.  I saw the boy and man roll into one.  It was wonderful to see his stature stating he was ready to defend America and the American people.  And, today, as his wife posted nothing but sentiments of love for the man she married, again I found myself filled with family prided.

It’s great to know my cousin got marriage and parenting responsibility right!  Love you, Pom!

Granny’s Wisdom: The Family Killed Their Cash-cow

Honour killing 01“I killed my daughter as she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent, and I have no regret over it.” –Farzana Parveen’s Father

Yesterday, I entered into a social hornets nest.  The group topic I chose to comment on was about a young 25-year-old Pakistani woman.  She was several months pregnant and married a man 20 years older with five motherless children.  The price she paid for not seeking family approval on the man she married was death.

What makes this crime worse than horrible is she was stoned to death by those that should have loved her most, her family.

And what socially puts this on the Richter scale as being the most horrible crime done in the name of God are the religious head-hunters.

But this crime had nothing to do with religion.  Her father clearly stated, ‘she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent.’  He said nothing about them persecuting her for religious reasons.  Yet, those that dislike any form of religion say’s differently; including one of the groups I belong to on Facebook.

Their viewpoints on the matter are why I’m writing this blog post.  Because according to the admin she first expresses the matter as “not directly religion based, but an honour killing.”  Then she turns around and writes, “However, religious laws which are rampant, which treat women as chattels and not as people, and which place their only value in marriage and breeding are responsible for the attitudes which make honour killiings so common.”  

It’s a sad state of affairs when a group of people have nothing better to do with their time outside of bashing religion and religious groups.  And it is even sadder when the group fail to accept reality that no one, no religious entity, or social group is perfect; not even theirs.

I feel the statements of the admin smacks of headhunting.  And after viewing the news clipping of an overseas television station that stated the crime was cultural and not linked to Islāmic faith practices my thoughts were confirmed that the group was out for religious blood.

Apart from pointing out the group’s efforts for blaming religion, I felt the administrator and those within the group straddle-the-fence when it came to addressing the real issues about what lead up to the untimely death of the young woman.  Blinded by religious prejudices each group member failed to see the true culprit(s).  Yet, they were hell-bent in their dogmatic practice in making sure I understood their cock-eyed viewpoints on the subject; which was by the way religious practice was behind the stoning.

As I saw things, their viewpoints held validity for those that hate religion and those that do not follow God.

One gentleman basically stated religious people were brainwashed.  And that those who choose to believed in God were delusional because they believed in “imaginary friends in the sky.”  Oh isn’t he cute!  Just a bit of sarcasm! He went on to tell me that he needed to teach me theology because I knew nothing of the word of God. I felt his tainted knowledge kept and keeps him prisoner of his self-absorb very flawed character.  I got his point!  But his arrogance stopped him from getting mine.  I knew he wanted me to understand that if I understood the word of God as he deduced it, I would not be so apt to follow Christ.  Hum . . . Whatever!

Honestly the real gem of his religious mockery was him babbling that I was trying to convert him!  Convert hell!  I was defending my faith and my rights as a follower of Christ to state what I felt was truth in this particular “honour killing.”

Then after Mr. I Have Courage Behind The Computer Screen tried to shame me for being a follower of Christ among his peers, his little goonies chimed in!  And the insult game was on!

Each person tried to tell me that I didn’t know what I was talking about.  They were spewing out their rehearsed anti-religion scrap quickly!  They wanted the key players to know they were on top of their positions as being group gophers.  And to make sure they got group acknowledgement for their efforts in setting this indoctrinated idiot straight, they would every so often ask for a pat on the head after their self-destructive comments.

I knew exactly what I was stating and why I made my comments.  I knew they were talking about honour killings.  I also knew they were straddling the fence by agreeing with ‘not directly religion based, but an honour killing’ misleading statement.

Honestly, as a logical person, I want to know what does that statement really mean?!!!  And how is their key-board courage helping these defeated women?

Farzana Parveen is just one of many women that will be killed this year in Pakistan.  Many of their deaths will be administered by family members.  And thinking for themselves will be their crimes.  These types of killings, (no! wait!) any type of killing is wrong!  For any reason!

As an American, as a woman, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s niece, someone’s aunt, and someone’s mother, I feel the women in Pakistan should have the right to marry the man of their choice!  They should have the right to marry for love.  They should have the rights to decide if they want to continue cultural tradition in allowing their family to pick their husband.  But they should not be killed for any reason; and certainly not because they used their brain.

These women are not cash cows!  Yet, cultural practice deems them so!  And because Farzana Parveen used her brain to stand up for her dignity she was stoned to death.  The organ that made her Farzana Parveen was smashed out of her body.  And no one stepped up to the plate to help her.

The men in her family that brutally attacked her and the men on the streets of Pakistan that sat/stood by and watched this unthinkable crime publicly dishonored themselves.  There is no honor in a mob killing let alone killing a helpless pregnant woman!

And as for supporting my argument below:

“Call it what you may but this was not a religious honor killing. This senseless act was a killing of selfishness. It had nothing to do with religion but everything to do with monetary disappointments. And sadly religion of any kind, mainly Christians, are being blamed here for this horrific act. Only far left wing and far right wing groups would partake in an inhuman act; and, thus, called themselves justified. The ex-boy friend was upset because he had something to gain from the marriage of convenience and lost it when she married for love. The father was upset because the man she married didn’t have as much as the man he choose. So after she failed to leave the man she loved and professed her love in court the father was angered even more because of his monetary losses! Therefore, they killed her out of anger and the rest went along because they failed to use their small brains. So! No! This was not a religious act! This was a crime of economy! A crime that can be considered as a selfish monetarily motivated act and it didn’t happen in America! And all involved should be captured and tried for murder.” –Annette Harrison

Tune in next time!  But remember to prayer and or do something to help other’s.

Granny’s Wisdom: Children are Precious Gifts

Natisha Hillard

Yesterday an article about a child molestation case came across my Facebook feed.  I would like to write that the case is and was an isolated situation, but I cannot write such because sexual crimes against children are on the rise.  And sadly the victim in this particular case was 4 months old when she became sexually exploited. Sickening!  Right!

What logical adult would have sex with an infant?  What rational human-being would want to have sex with children?  And the most important question:  What type of mother would give her permission for her child or children to be sexually used?

Anyone that would consider having sex and have had sex with a child has fallen away from the moral blueprints of humanity.  Because crimes against defenseless people are horrible!  But crimes against children are shamefully horrific!

And when a mother is negligent in protecting her young it goes against the laws of nature.  Maternal instincts should always trump foolish thoughts!  Maternal instincts should be so strong that women act like civilized “mama bears” when they feel their young being threaten.

And this ‘mama bear’ finds the story of Natisha Hillard‘s inconceivable actions as a woman and mother baffling!

Who is Natisha Hillard?  Too me, she’s a beautiful young black female with a pretty name that has made one of the worst mistakes any woman and or mother can make (outside of killing her young).  Her story is disturbing and very bone chilling.  She sold her infant daughter to a man who has a nefarious appetite for infants and child pornography.

She met the creep online!  And from the sounds of things she didn’t hesitate in selling him her infant for five hundred dollars.  And worse yet, she stood by and watch the crime take place!  To me her actions states, “She was also sexually stimulated by watching a child, her child, being molested!”

It’s a sad day for humanity each time people such as Natisha loses touch with what it means to be human.

Sexual crimes against infants should be punishable by death.  I do believe in the state of Louisiana sexual exploitation of a minor 12 years old and younger carries a mandatory death penalty.  And for sex offenders that do not live in Louisiana to ask the courts for leniency is asinine!  Especially since they are not facing death!

Words of wisdom from an older woman to younger women:

Children are irreplaceable!  The quality of life is priceless!  And to take either or both for granted is wrong.

Vocabulary Mondays: Commonsensical

Photo Taken From:  http://thegrio.com/2014/05/02/second-grader-handcuffedWord:  Commonsensical

Part of Speech:  noun

Meaning:

Sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.

Word Usage:

The other day as I was reading headlines on Facebook I stumbled across a very sad story.  The story was about a seven-year old boy named Kalyb Primm Wiley.  He had been placed in handcuffs by his schools security.  Apparently the little boy had been picked on by his peers.  Feed up with the ill-treatment and feeling helpless the little seven-year old boy began to scream.  After he began to scream the unskilled teacher called for help to restrain the yelling child.  From the sounds of things the adults in charged didn’t try or was unable to rationally communicate with the child during his meltdown; therefore, he was placed in handcuffs until his father arrived.

When his father got to the school and saw his son in handcuffs he could not believe his eyes.  Now . . . I’m not saying white students are not mistreated . . . but a large percentage of white parents would have taken pictures of their child’s inhumane condition.  Most white parents whether they like their kid or not would have begun building social coffins for social antics they consider inhumane.  The photos taken would have been sent to an attorney, the school district superintendent, their state’s governor, their state’s senator, their city/town mayor, every newspaper in this country and all powers that be.  And in the end their child would receive a large monetary settlement from the school district for being publicly humiliated.  But so often when black students suffer at the hands of those that are in position of trust nothing is ever done.

I’m following this particular story.  I want to see how long it takes the school district in Kansas City, MO to change their policy on children and handcuffs.  Especially since those that enforce the rules are not commonsensical in character.