Quote for Today: We raise girls to cater to the fragile egos of men

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Photo credit:  Rex
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Photo credit: Rex

We raise girls to cater to the fragile  egos of men. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We tell girls ‘you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man……

We teach girls shame – close your legs, cover yourself!! We make them feel as though by being born female they’re already guilty of something.  And so girls grow up to be a woman who cannot see they have desire.  They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up – and this is the worst thing we do to girls – they grow up to be women who turn pretense into an art form.  ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

A Dad’s Speech At His Daughter’s Wedding

Photographer:  Artis Harrison
Photographer: Artis Harrison

Today I found this very beautiful story from a dad to his daughter’s new family on Social Meems.  So I’m sharing it with you.  Happy reading!

I thought I would start my speech by addressing you as the “new” family of my daughter. But I think it would be inappropriate because now that she is married, you are “the family” for her. Believe me; I don’t have a problem with that. I, in fact, want my daughter to have “you” as her priority now. Its time for us to take a backseat in her life. We would happily accept it but would surely request one thing- please keep her happy!

I am more than sure that you will keep her very happy. She will perhaps be happier than what she used to be here. But like all fathers, I obsess over my daughter’s happiness which is making me say this over and over again- please keep her happy!

She never was and will never be a burden for me. She is in fact the reason why I breathe and smile. I am getting her married because this is what the law of nature demands. I am helpless in the face of our culture and therefore sending her to your home. She was the happiness of my home and will now light up your home. I am giving my world to you. Please make sure it remains beautiful. I am giving away my princess to you. Please make sure she stays as a queen. I have raised her with my sweat and blood and now she is wonderfully perfect. For all the care, love, beauty and warmth my daughter will bring into your lives, I just want her happiness in return—please keep her happy!

If at times you think that my daughter has said or done something wrong, feel free to scold her. But handle her with love. She is very fragile. If at times she feels low, be with her. She just needs a little bit of your attention. If at times she feels sick, show her some care. It’s the medicine that works best for her. If at times she fails to fulfill a responsibility, feel free to chastise her. But empathize with her. She is still learning. Do understand her—please keep her happy!

I don’t mind if I don’t get to see her for months. I don’t mind if I am not able to talk to her on a daily basis. I would be more than happy if she doesn’t remember me much. But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy.

Dear son-in-law, these words may not mean much to you now but if you are lucky enough to father a daughter someday, you will appreciate them better when you will find every beat of your heart shouting – “please keep her happy”!

– Dedicated to all fathers

 

What! Who Doesn’t Want to Go to Disney World?

This video is priceless (totally not what I expected)!  Laughter!  What person doesn’t want to go to Disney World?!!!  They must be insane or something [laughing hysterically].  But after seeing this video your heart will break.  It will have total compassion for the little person that doesn’t feel the same as most of the world when it comes to visiting the most famous place of all.  Disney World!

 

The Prayer’s of Black Women: The Story of Jonah by Mary Margaret

I have been in church for nearly 53 years.   And I have never heard the story of Jonah with so much feeling.  Mary Margaret is full of passion for telling this great story.  Her passion causes her to be very (and I do mean very) animated.  Enjoy this cute little girl telling the story of Jonah.

Saturday Funnies: Steve Harvey’s Dad Monster Makeover Gone Wrong

This is the saddest but cutest video of a dad trying to fit in with family fun!  It really does make you say, “Awh.  Poor kids.  Poor dad.”

 

Granny’s Wisdom: The Family Killed Their Cash-cow

Honour killing 01“I killed my daughter as she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent, and I have no regret over it.” –Farzana Parveen’s Father

Yesterday, I entered into a social hornets nest.  The group topic I chose to comment on was about a young 25-year-old Pakistani woman.  She was several months pregnant and married a man 20 years older with five motherless children.  The price she paid for not seeking family approval on the man she married was death.

What makes this crime worse than horrible is she was stoned to death by those that should have loved her most, her family.

And what socially puts this on the Richter scale as being the most horrible crime done in the name of God are the religious head-hunters.

But this crime had nothing to do with religion.  Her father clearly stated, ‘she had insulted all of our family by marring a man without our consent.’  He said nothing about them persecuting her for religious reasons.  Yet, those that dislike any form of religion say’s differently; including one of the groups I belong to on Facebook.

Their viewpoints on the matter are why I’m writing this blog post.  Because according to the admin she first expresses the matter as “not directly religion based, but an honour killing.”  Then she turns around and writes, “However, religious laws which are rampant, which treat women as chattels and not as people, and which place their only value in marriage and breeding are responsible for the attitudes which make honour killiings so common.”  

It’s a sad state of affairs when a group of people have nothing better to do with their time outside of bashing religion and religious groups.  And it is even sadder when the group fail to accept reality that no one, no religious entity, or social group is perfect; not even theirs.

I feel the statements of the admin smacks of headhunting.  And after viewing the news clipping of an overseas television station that stated the crime was cultural and not linked to Islāmic faith practices my thoughts were confirmed that the group was out for religious blood.

Apart from pointing out the group’s efforts for blaming religion, I felt the administrator and those within the group straddle-the-fence when it came to addressing the real issues about what lead up to the untimely death of the young woman.  Blinded by religious prejudices each group member failed to see the true culprit(s).  Yet, they were hell-bent in their dogmatic practice in making sure I understood their cock-eyed viewpoints on the subject; which was by the way religious practice was behind the stoning.

As I saw things, their viewpoints held validity for those that hate religion and those that do not follow God.

One gentleman basically stated religious people were brainwashed.  And that those who choose to believed in God were delusional because they believed in “imaginary friends in the sky.”  Oh isn’t he cute!  Just a bit of sarcasm! He went on to tell me that he needed to teach me theology because I knew nothing of the word of God. I felt his tainted knowledge kept and keeps him prisoner of his self-absorb very flawed character.  I got his point!  But his arrogance stopped him from getting mine.  I knew he wanted me to understand that if I understood the word of God as he deduced it, I would not be so apt to follow Christ.  Hum . . . Whatever!

Honestly the real gem of his religious mockery was him babbling that I was trying to convert him!  Convert hell!  I was defending my faith and my rights as a follower of Christ to state what I felt was truth in this particular “honour killing.”

Then after Mr. I Have Courage Behind The Computer Screen tried to shame me for being a follower of Christ among his peers, his little goonies chimed in!  And the insult game was on!

Each person tried to tell me that I didn’t know what I was talking about.  They were spewing out their rehearsed anti-religion scrap quickly!  They wanted the key players to know they were on top of their positions as being group gophers.  And to make sure they got group acknowledgement for their efforts in setting this indoctrinated idiot straight, they would every so often ask for a pat on the head after their self-destructive comments.

I knew exactly what I was stating and why I made my comments.  I knew they were talking about honour killings.  I also knew they were straddling the fence by agreeing with ‘not directly religion based, but an honour killing’ misleading statement.

Honestly, as a logical person, I want to know what does that statement really mean?!!!  And how is their key-board courage helping these defeated women?

Farzana Parveen is just one of many women that will be killed this year in Pakistan.  Many of their deaths will be administered by family members.  And thinking for themselves will be their crimes.  These types of killings, (no! wait!) any type of killing is wrong!  For any reason!

As an American, as a woman, someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s niece, someone’s aunt, and someone’s mother, I feel the women in Pakistan should have the right to marry the man of their choice!  They should have the right to marry for love.  They should have the rights to decide if they want to continue cultural tradition in allowing their family to pick their husband.  But they should not be killed for any reason; and certainly not because they used their brain.

These women are not cash cows!  Yet, cultural practice deems them so!  And because Farzana Parveen used her brain to stand up for her dignity she was stoned to death.  The organ that made her Farzana Parveen was smashed out of her body.  And no one stepped up to the plate to help her.

The men in her family that brutally attacked her and the men on the streets of Pakistan that sat/stood by and watched this unthinkable crime publicly dishonored themselves.  There is no honor in a mob killing let alone killing a helpless pregnant woman!

And as for supporting my argument below:

“Call it what you may but this was not a religious honor killing. This senseless act was a killing of selfishness. It had nothing to do with religion but everything to do with monetary disappointments. And sadly religion of any kind, mainly Christians, are being blamed here for this horrific act. Only far left wing and far right wing groups would partake in an inhuman act; and, thus, called themselves justified. The ex-boy friend was upset because he had something to gain from the marriage of convenience and lost it when she married for love. The father was upset because the man she married didn’t have as much as the man he choose. So after she failed to leave the man she loved and professed her love in court the father was angered even more because of his monetary losses! Therefore, they killed her out of anger and the rest went along because they failed to use their small brains. So! No! This was not a religious act! This was a crime of economy! A crime that can be considered as a selfish monetarily motivated act and it didn’t happen in America! And all involved should be captured and tried for murder.” –Annette Harrison

Tune in next time!  But remember to prayer and or do something to help other’s.

Granny’s Wisdom: Children are Precious Gifts

Natisha Hillard

Yesterday an article about a child molestation case came across my Facebook feed.  I would like to write that the case is and was an isolated situation, but I cannot write such because sexual crimes against children are on the rise.  And sadly the victim in this particular case was 4 months old when she became sexually exploited. Sickening!  Right!

What logical adult would have sex with an infant?  What rational human-being would want to have sex with children?  And the most important question:  What type of mother would give her permission for her child or children to be sexually used?

Anyone that would consider having sex and have had sex with a child has fallen away from the moral blueprints of humanity.  Because crimes against defenseless people are horrible!  But crimes against children are shamefully horrific!

And when a mother is negligent in protecting her young it goes against the laws of nature.  Maternal instincts should always trump foolish thoughts!  Maternal instincts should be so strong that women act like civilized “mama bears” when they feel their young being threaten.

And this ‘mama bear’ finds the story of Natisha Hillard‘s inconceivable actions as a woman and mother baffling!

Who is Natisha Hillard?  Too me, she’s a beautiful young black female with a pretty name that has made one of the worst mistakes any woman and or mother can make (outside of killing her young).  Her story is disturbing and very bone chilling.  She sold her infant daughter to a man who has a nefarious appetite for infants and child pornography.

She met the creep online!  And from the sounds of things she didn’t hesitate in selling him her infant for five hundred dollars.  And worse yet, she stood by and watch the crime take place!  To me her actions states, “She was also sexually stimulated by watching a child, her child, being molested!”

It’s a sad day for humanity each time people such as Natisha loses touch with what it means to be human.

Sexual crimes against infants should be punishable by death.  I do believe in the state of Louisiana sexual exploitation of a minor 12 years old and younger carries a mandatory death penalty.  And for sex offenders that do not live in Louisiana to ask the courts for leniency is asinine!  Especially since they are not facing death!

Words of wisdom from an older woman to younger women:

Children are irreplaceable!  The quality of life is priceless!  And to take either or both for granted is wrong.