I Truly Love and Enjoy My Non-Black Friends!

Wow!  April 14, 2013 @ 9:13 a.m., I wrote this 750 word blog post.  Today, May 8, 2020, seven years later, it is finally being published without concerns of being judged for grammar.  I’ve come full circle when believing I’m enough and I matter. 

ethnic young woman using laptop while having tasty beverage in modern street cafe
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Laughter!  The other day before I published America New Frontier for African American Slave Descendants I called a White girl friend to get her opinion on what I wrote.  At first I could hear her looking through papers.  But desperate for input I continued to read her my post.  She became silent and the background noise stopped.   She was so quite I thought her cell phone had dropped the call.  So I asked, “Joyce are you still here?”  She responded with “Yes.”  I said, “Okay” and I continued reading.  After I finished reading the post I informed her I was done and awaited for her input.

This is what she had to say, “Hell girl Black women are not the only ones that need to hear this.  White women need encouragement too!  I think your post is great but you need to write to women in general.”  Inwardly, I thought “Okay!”  Did my friend miss the point!  Or did I miss the boat!  Laughter!

This is not a blog of segregation.  It’s a way for me to discuss and share my feelings as a Black women living in America.  I once wrote why I started blogging in my own name.  I never went into detail what I was researching when I discovered how people, groups, race and men felt about Black women being the lowest in lifeforms.   Each internet article, blog, YouTube video, and other social media kept hammering away at Black women and their characters; as if we have no feelings at all!  Yet, everyday somewhere in the world a Black woman is giving birth to another female that will be picked apart until Black women stand together and fight back by refuting ignorance concerning our gender group.

I personally feel these malicious rumors are spreed to keep women of color from advancing personally and professionally.  What am I saying?  I’m saying the world as a whole do not want Black women to raise up and be account for and keep their heads up in the process.  Why?  Because spiritual, emotionally, and mentally we are strong, and where there is strength there is power, and where there is power there is the possibility of becoming number one!  Think on it!  Black women haven’t done anything to the world to hate us, yet, we are the most picked upon and picked apart group of women.  As a matter of fact, I find the world has done its’ fair share in trying to diminish our gender group; its efforts hints extermination for Black women; and, again, we refuse with the aid of God to become extinct.  Hello!

I love being a Black woman.  To say I hate being a Black woman would be an insult to God.  What I hate is ignorance concerning women of color.  I hate we are by forced to coward down.  I hate that sometimes by choice we allow others to dictate our future as people, a gender group, motherhood, marital status, and part of a race.  Therefore, I will say it again.  I will keep saying it.  Black women have the rights to dream and dream big!  And they have the rights to pursue those dreams.  What bothers me is not the ignorant smudges on our character placed by uneducated people, but the fact Black women won’t come together on one accord for the good of our gender group.  I have experienced first hand being sold to the highest bidder by a sister of color.  Nothing hurt worse than knowing she sold me for a meager employment position.  As I stood realizing I had became the “Judas goat”  I gave her a glare only a woman of color understood.  From that day to this she can never speak to me in public or private settings.

So to all my non-Black friends and non-Black people this is not a blog to segregate.  It is a blog to encourage a group of women that is, and have been for a long time, under attack; so, please don’t take my words personal.  I am always there to encourage everyone!  But for the moment I am here to encourage Black women.  We need encouragement.   We need to know we matter.  We need to know that those we say horrible things about us are fools and foolish.  As a gender group we need to come together for the good of Black women and etc.

The Prayers of Black Women – Bad Company

Thursday, April 23, 2020

takeittothelord2
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

1st Corinthians 15:13 states:  Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for this day.  Your word says “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.”  Please help those that continue hanging out with people that aren’t good for them.  Put your loving arms around them.  Whisper in their ears that you love them and you want better for them.  Open their eyes so they can see the true character of their so called friend(s).  Give them your courage to leave and never look back.  Amen

 

Day 2: No Social Media

Yesterday the struggle was real!  OMG!  I can not believe I was having withdrawals from being on Facebook.  Today is a little better but I still have urges to log into my social media account to see what is currently happening in my friends, family, loved ones and the world.  But!  I’m not going to give into my desire.  Instead, I’m committing to cleaning my kitchen and eradicating my emotions from the baggage of others.

How You Made Them FeelAs God would have it I was faced with choices concerning my torn relationship with my grand daughter.  She sees me as a negative in her life and never a friend or a person that cares deeply for her and her outcome.  My truth telling has hurt her beyond her ability to see logic.  As a result, she tell private things about me in order to gain some type of satisfaction in shaming me before others.  As if shaming me will fix what really ills her soul.  Well any who how . . . . She has drawn her line in the sand and set her boundaries.  They are loud and clear.  I must and will respect them.  With that stated, I don’t think she realize once she made her choices her decisions created choices for me.

I wish her well.  At the moment their can never be a point return.  Sometimes you must cut the cancer out in order for the body to survive.

Their World Isn’t Mine

Harriet TubmanYesterday I was in a part of Denver I rarely pass through but my cousin wanted me to go with her to Downing Supermarket [that nasty place].
I’m not sure why my cousin won’t go to a meat market in our area and order smoke neck bones and frozen greens but she doesn’t.  I think she likes hanging out from time to time with the roughnecks of the world.  Not me.
 
Well, anywhohow, I was waiting at the meat counter with my cousin for her turn to be helped.  As I was standing there my nose was wrinkled at the unappealing meat in the display case.  It looked nothing like the meat I purchase at the local supermarkets nor at meat markets.  So, yes, inwardly I question it and its origin.  
 
Thinking to self I said “I wouldn’t purchase this meat.”  Well my thoughts weren’t savory.  Knowing me, I had a few cuss words somewhere in my mental thoughts.  But, don’t worry, I’m asking God to help me with my cussing.
Anywho, a pre-teen was bouncing around the customers.  Her parents said nothing to her about her early adolescence behavior.  So she moved from here to there and then she bounced herself face to face with me and we locked eyes.  Our encounter was brief but the eye to eye contact made her uneasy.  Unbeknown to me, she conveyed her feelings to her parents.   
 
So minutes later I walked back from an area closest to the meat counter and saw a sign about fresh eggs. I stood reading it.
 
When I turned back towards the meat counter the little girls dad said, “Hello.” I exchanged what I thought was pleasantries. Not! The next thing I knew the man says, “Why are you looking at my daughter.”
 
I was truly caught off guard. So I said, I wasn’t looking at your daughter, I was reading that sign but I can look at her if you want me too!”
 
I guess my response caught the young man off guard as his insulting question initially caught me off mine.
 
You could tell he wasn’t easy about me being around his daughter but his feeling were fuel by paranoia that is feed by the community within they live.  It was clear to see from my behavior his world wasn’t my world.  
 
Until now, I was oblivious to his world. I was passing through and had no plans of returning. So the people within it really never mattered.  I thought!  But!  God works in mysterious ways.
 
I praise God for keeping me safe because that young hotheaded gang member could have killed me. I praise Him for allowing me to see the need He has prepared me to assist Him in fulfilling. I praise Him for the avenues He’s going to open for me to help His people. I praise Him for just being God!  My Heavenly father and redeemer!  Amen!

My Prayer Was Answered: April 7, 2018

swarming locustNo sooner than publishing my post “I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God” my phone ranged. It was my middle son. He was returning my call from a few days ago.

Seeing his number on caller ID made my day. As I viewed who was calling I deliberated should I tell him about my painful decision.

He lives hundreds of miles away. He’s happy with his relationship choice. He enjoys his job. He views life as it should be lived. One day at a time. He dislikes drama and avoid making comments when I’m in-raged about his older brother. So I wanted to stay clear of upsetting him.

He could tell something was wrong. I told him what happened. He was disappointed it came to the decision I made. He said something like this: “Well, mom, my brother must live his life. The loaning of this money is a lesson to everyone. If my brother doesn’t get the lesson, the lesson will continue to visit him until he gets it.”

Nugget from God:

It’s a good thing to help others that are in need. If they abuse the resources God sends or sent their way then life lessons will continue until they learn whatever they need to learn.

Prayer:

Lord each time I write or speak of the money that my son’s girlfriend refuses to repay I become upset. Today, Lord, I’m asking for God’s peace on a good deed that went bad. I want to move on. Help me find ways to replace what the locust have eaten. Amen

I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God

UnfoldTwo days ago Jeff and I was out looking for property. We’re trying to make my (his) dream come true of living in the mountains in a log home. No I ain’t got it like that! But! I’m willing to work hard for what I want.
Well any-who, we stopped at a local grocery store. A young white woman was getting out of an SUV. It appeared as if she was mean mugging me, Jeff or both. So I stopped looking her way and walked towards the store’s entry.
Her kid nearly knocked me down. He was a kid so I excused his, what appeared to be, bad behavior.
We crossed paths with the lady several times during our shopping trip. Oddly enough we checked out about the same time as she did. It was then when I saw the bigger picture.
She was a mom that has a child that is mentally challenge.
Her attitude was that of a frustrated parent.
My heart sank and all I concluded about her diminished as I could only imagine her life and the challenges she face daily.
So I thought to self this woman needs to know God has not forgotten about her. You know what I mean. Sometimes life can be so brutal that you need a life sustaining nugget from the Creator. So I asked my husband to pull our vehicle up to her so I could see what she needed.
She was finishing with putting her rambunctious kid and items into the car.
I looked at her with compassion. I said, “Mam, I’m a couponer. I have more than I can use. What can I bring back to you?” She was shocked! She looked as if she wanted to cry.
She said, “Wait a minute. I want my mom to hear this.” So she had her mom to roll down the window. I repeated what I had asked the lady to her mom. Her mom sat there speechless.

I spend most of my days trying to do what God expects of His children.  I even try to live my own life and allow others to live theirs.  But the past couple of days I’ve been so drained from toxic family members.  OMG!

Yesterday was a bad day!  I’ve had to cut ties with my oldest son based on a rumor that was a lie.  I’ve had to bridle my tongue when it came to dealing with family members that suffer from mental health issues.  I’ve had to listen to gossip about my actions concerning helping my son’s girl-friend purchase a new and reliable car.  Something that was meant to aid both he and her in continuing their journey to a secure financial future as a couple.  I allowed the rumors of what my son’s girl friend had done to keep from paying me get underneath my skin!  Later finding out she hadn’t done it!  My poor husband has had enough of watching the affects of me dealing with a toxic family.  He finally put his foot down starting with the loaning of the $5,000 to my oldest son’s girl friend that she now refuse to pay.  Now, I’m having to watch my husband suffer emotionally from his decision when it came to giving me the ultimatum about cutting ties with my son.

After years of returning to a family I found toxic I’ve found myself on unstable ground.  I can’t seem to get footing.  Lately, I’ve been seeing myself getting upset with God because he won’t just do away with them all!  Surly he sees they don’t serve a purpose.  They are so toxic that it’s the norm among them.  Really!  You know how babies communicate with each other and they sound silly!  Well that’s my mom’s family!  They sit and plan their future with the gain from peoples death.  They think it’s okay to take other people’s earthly belongings before the person dies!  Then!  Wait!  Then they tell that person that’s asking for their property back that they will decided who will get it once the she dies!  Then you have men wanting to beat up people for telling them the truth about their inabilities of being a man!  They wear unhealthiness like it was fashionable!  And!  In style!  Oh!  Wait!  Being unhealthy is in style!  That’s why Jesus had to die for us all!

But!  My mom’s family!  OMG!  They take greed, stupidity, ignorance, self-pity, deceit, thievery, dishonesty and so much more that decays the soul to heights that the word of God can’t penetrate them.  It’s as if they’ve been turned over to reprobate minds.

Yet!  They go to church every Sunday or most Sundays.  Always speak in such a manner that makes the hearer believe they are true followers of Christ.  Then in the backdrop of life their behavior clearly shows they don’t believe God is real.  Cause the things they do I would be afraid to die in their current state.
The thing that put me back in the pickle barrel of toxic people is the failing health of my mom.  After returning I see why my mom has heart problems spiritually and physically!
Gosh!  Doggit!  Her family is so toxic!
They make mountains out of molehills!  They want understanding but can’t give it!  They want compassion but don’t know how to apply it when it comes to dealing with others!

[Sigh] I find myself praying daily things that are crazy and later finding myself asking God for forgiveness for those crazy thoughts.

Prayer:  God, I need you to give me your peace that surpasses all understanding as I help my mom during the last phase of her life.  Let me be a good daughter not because I seek applause from onlookers but because your word says, “Honor thy mother and thy father.”  I ask your protection from the arrows of those that tend to do me harm physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I ask that your word continue to be truth in my life even when my way is cloudy.  And, most of all, God can you please give me a life nugget today.  Something that will feed my hungry soul on this journey you’ve aloud to unfold.  Amen

Everyone Deserves Their Good Name

Broken People
Photo taken from the internet.

Yesterday, I was very upset.  It seems the lies my family have shared with those that would listen were believed.  And what came to mind during this brief moment was something I was once told.  “Everyone deserves their good name.”  That statement holds true for the person that ruined yours.  Yet, the part of you that protects and loves you wants to seek revenge despite the truth.

In Humility Matters the author writes:

“An angry reaction is to use words that harm another.  Calumny is to speak about another and harm his or her good name.  It might be a truthful fact but not necessary for me to promulgate.  Slander is to actually speak and promote lies about another and testify false things about another as if they were true.  Everyone deserves a good name, and for us to devalue another has an irrevocable and damaging effect on that person’s social well-being.  Calumny and slander, however, most harm me because I falsely put myself above the other either in judgment or in vanity.  My own being is tarnished.  If I do this, I am not to be trusted.  If I am not trustworthy, I forfeit the honor of bearing witness.”

And tho my name has been ruined I must find ways to bury old feelings.  I must figure out another way to detach from those that ruined my name in the first place.  I must finish the task that opened this door of reality of the affects of people ruining my good name; so, I can continue of the path of living a joy filled life.

A Life Cut Short: Marin’s Story

This drug seems to appeal to incredibly smart, talented, and particularly sensitive people. To me one of the most important battlefronts for today’s parents is the prevalence of prescription narcotics and the role they play in the social lives of young people. They’re regarded by young people as “harmless” because it’s just something your mom was prescribed for her back. It’s no big deal. But it’s essentially heroin. And once the prescription drugs are difficult to obtain, heroin is the next best solution. And it seems it’s almost impossible to kick…for many. Thanks everyone, for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. —Rachel McIntyre

Today, I had barely gotten the sleep nuggets out of my eyes when I stumbled to my computer.  I needed to check my Facebook message center.   I had made a promise to a young woman with a small family that I would teach her the art of couponing.  Yes, I will teach others how to coupon.  I think all people should coupon [chuckling to myself].

Well any-who-how, as I sat at the computer the first post that stared me in my face was from this guy I feel hates blacks.  Honestly his posts usually scream I hate everything and especially blacks.  And when he spreads his hate among his 2,000 friends, I try not to make comments on them.  And when I make comments I’m usually involved in delusional conversations that sickens me to my stomach.  Because from where I’m perched in life, I feel and have seen everyone with the ability to mess up their lives, to want something for free, to think they’ve been discriminated against for various reasons and such.

Why am I friends with him?  I don’t know!  I have mix emotions about him being on my feed but there are days when I learn from his disdain.  There are days when I enjoy his wittiness on some subject matters he and I do agree on.  But this post isn’t about him nor me.

This blog post is about the awareness of drugs, drug abuse, and realizing the misuse of drugs can affected anyone.  Those who do drugs I keep close to my heart and in my prayers.  Drugs are the things in life that do not and will never discriminate.

Drugs are given life when a person takes advantage of another human-being.  Drugs are given life when those that feel they won’t become dependent on them take or use them for whatever reason.  Drugs are given life when its value is worth more than the lives they destroy.  So please take a moment to watch this video of a family tragedy that has turned into a forever heartache.

 

Day Twelve: Some People Should Kick Rocks

KIck RocksI first heard the saying “kick rocks” from my husband.  He had gotten upset on several occasions with one of his family members.  Later he would say, “They can go and kick rocks.”  Not wanting to appear ignorant I never asked what the expression meant.  Yet from time to time I would use the saying in similar situations.

The other day I posted something on Facebook about me learning of Jodi Arias and a friend commented “Thanks for keeping us updated! Would not wanna b out the loop on this, lol.”  I tried to play the comment off as a jokingly jester but truthfully I wanted to tell him to go “F” himself.  And had I known the truest meaning for ‘kick rocks’ I would have put the saying as my response.

According to the Urban Dictionary telling someone to go and “kick rocks” has several meanings.  And even though there were three meanings each contained basically the same connotations.  Apparently telling someone to go and kick rocks mean “fuck off.”