Category: Humor

I Need A Life Sustaining Nugget from God

UnfoldTwo days ago Jeff and I was out looking for property. We’re trying to make my (his) dream come true of living in the mountains in a log home. No I ain’t got it like that! But! I’m willing to work hard for what I want.
Well any-who, we stopped at a local grocery store. A young white woman was getting out of an SUV. It appeared as if she was mean mugging me, Jeff or both. So I stopped looking her way and walked towards the store’s entry.
Her kid nearly knocked me down. He was a kid so I excused his, what appeared to be, bad behavior.
We crossed paths with the lady several times during our shopping trip. Oddly enough we checked out about the same time as she did. It was then when I saw the bigger picture.
She was a mom that has a child that is mentally challenge.
Her attitude was that of a frustrated parent.
My heart sank and all I concluded about her diminished as I could only imagine her life and the challenges she face daily.
So I thought to self this woman needs to know God has not forgotten about her. You know what I mean. Sometimes life can be so brutal that you need a life sustaining nugget from the Creator. So I asked my husband to pull our vehicle up to her so I could see what she needed.
She was finishing with putting her rambunctious kid and items into the car.
I looked at her with compassion. I said, “Mam, I’m a couponer. I have more than I can use. What can I bring back to you?” She was shocked! She looked as if she wanted to cry.
She said, “Wait a minute. I want my mom to hear this.” So she had her mom to roll down the window. I repeated what I had asked the lady to her mom. Her mom sat there speechless.

I spend most of my days trying to do what God expects of His children.  I even try to live my own life and allow others to live theirs.  But the past couple of days I’ve been so drained from toxic family members.  OMG!

Yesterday was a bad day!  I’ve had to cut ties with my oldest son based on a rumor that was a lie.  I’ve had to bridle my tongue when it came to dealing with family members that suffer from mental health issues.  I’ve had to listen to gossip about my actions concerning helping my son’s girl-friend purchase a new and reliable car.  Something that was meant to aid both he and her in continuing their journey to a secure financial future as a couple.  I allowed the rumors of what my son’s girl friend had done to keep from paying me get underneath my skin!  Later finding out she hadn’t done it!  My poor husband has had enough of watching the affects of me dealing with a toxic family.  He finally put his foot down starting with the loaning of the $5,000 to my oldest son’s girl friend that she now refuse to pay.  Now, I’m having to watch my husband suffer emotionally from his decision when it came to giving me the ultimatum about cutting ties with my son.

After years of returning to a family I found toxic I’ve found myself on unstable ground.  I can’t seem to get footing.  Lately, I’ve been seeing myself getting upset with God because he won’t just do away with them all!  Surly he sees they don’t serve a purpose.  They are so toxic that it’s the norm among them.  Really!  You know how babies communicate with each other and they sound silly!  Well that’s my mom’s family!  They sit and plan their future with the gain from peoples death.  They think it’s okay to take other people’s earthly belongings before the person dies!  Then!  Wait!  Then they tell that person that’s asking for their property back that they will decided who will get it once the she dies!  Then you have men wanting to beat up people for telling them the truth about their inabilities of being a man!  They wear unhealthiness like it was fashionable!  And!  In style!  Oh!  Wait!  Being unhealthy is in style!  That’s why Jesus had to die for us all!

But!  My mom’s family!  OMG!  They take greed, stupidity, ignorance, self-pity, deceit, thievery, dishonesty and so much more that decays the soul to heights that the word of God can’t penetrate them.  It’s as if they’ve been turned over to reprobate minds.

Yet!  They go to church every Sunday or most Sundays.  Always speak in such a manner that makes the hearer believe they are true followers of Christ.  Then in the backdrop of life their behavior clearly shows they don’t believe God is real.  Cause the things they do I would be afraid to die in their current state.
The thing that put me back in the pickle barrel of toxic people is the failing health of my mom.  After returning I see why my mom has heart problems spiritually and physically!
Gosh!  Doggit!  Her family is so toxic!
They make mountains out of molehills!  They want understanding but can’t give it!  They want compassion but don’t know how to apply it when it comes to dealing with others!

[Sigh] I find myself praying daily things that are crazy and later finding myself asking God for forgiveness for those crazy thoughts.

Prayer:  God, I need you to give me your peace that surpasses all understanding as I help my mom during the last phase of her life.  Let me be a good daughter not because I seek applause from onlookers but because your word says, “Honor thy mother and thy father.”  I ask your protection from the arrows of those that tend to do me harm physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I ask that your word continue to be truth in my life even when my way is cloudy.  And, most of all, God can you please give me a life nugget today.  Something that will feed my hungry soul on this journey you’ve aloud to unfold.  Amen

Taboo Tuesdays: Do You Give To Panhandlers?

For years I have always given to street beggars because I felt blessed.  As a single mom I knew I needed to pay parts of my wages forward as a gift of gratitude.   I was thankful I had a job.  I was grateful I could scrape by and take care of me and my children without the aid of others.  Sure times were hard.  I could have used the money to do an activity with my kids.  However, the image of people standing in the frigged cold of Colorado begging always haunted me.  So, when I found extra (in reality there were no extras) I always shared with no strings attached.

But in this day and time panhandling has been kicked-up-a-notch!

I don’t give to panhandlers like the days of old but I do continue to give.  Normally my financial gifts are given to aid sick children or women fighting breast cancer.  But when I give to a panhandler I give to the person that has the most creative sign.  Because if I’m going to give a very small fraction of my hard-earned taxed dollars to a panhandler I need something in return!  Meaning, the person that gets my money, that it now non-taxed to him/her, they need to work for it in some-type of humane capacity.

And what took me down memory lane of giving to panhandlers is the video below of a man who is upset because he got scammed:

Saturdays Funnies: And They Didn’t Feel A Thing

Photo taken from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/
Photo taken from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/

(Bellevue, WA)

On Saturday, police broke up a disturbance between a couple arguing over which one was drunker. Both were arrested and taken to Overlake Hospital for treatment of injuries to their heads.

The police are charging them with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace, but not assault.

They each injured themselves and not the other.

It seems, according to police and witnesses, that the couple were taking turns bashing their heads into the drywall walls and the wooden door of their apartment in order to prove they were so drunk that they couldn’t feel the pain.

Saturdays Funnies: How To Insult Intelligent Women

Photo taken from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/
Photo taken from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/

(Bangkok, Thailand)

A member of the ruling junta who oversees Thai Airways International has ordered the carrier to hire more-attractive stewardesses.

“We have received a lot of complaints that our air hostesses are not pretty enough, too old and unsmiling,” Air Chief Marshal Kaset Rojananil said.

In an interview published in “The Nation”, the airline has been hiring too many college-educated women, he said, adding: “Intelligent women tend not to be good looking.”

Saturdays Funnies: Wrong Email Address

Photo credit: Internet
Photo credit: Internet

A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Quote for Today: We raise girls to cater to the fragile egos of men

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Photo credit: Rex
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Photo credit: Rex

We raise girls to cater to the fragile  egos of men. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We tell girls ‘you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man……

We teach girls shame – close your legs, cover yourself!! We make them feel as though by being born female they’re already guilty of something.  And so girls grow up to be a woman who cannot see they have desire.  They grow up to be women who silence themselves. They grow up to be women who cannot say what they truly think. And they grow up – and this is the worst thing we do to girls – they grow up to be women who turn pretense into an art form.  ~Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Taboo Tuesdays: There Are NO Perfect Parents

Photo taken by: A. Harrison
Photo taken by: A. Harrison

For the past couple of months I have corresponded with a female family member.  She lives with a man, age 28, that has custodial issues with his child’s mother.

It seems he has problems keeping a job and a roof over his head.  And now that she lives with him, it seems he struggles with keeping a roof over her head.  Should he gain custody of his child, the hand-writing on the wall clearly shows he won’t be able to keep a roof over his child’s head either.  Yet, my young impetuous family member feels she and this guy are more suitable to raise the child than its mother!

Ooh!  I forgot to add, my young and gullible family member is only twenty-one years old.  She seems to believe living life as an adult is stupid.  Well at any rate with her childlike behavior she has been told by whoever, whomever, she is more suited to raise another woman’s child.  And with that noted I want to say the following:

It pisses me off to the highest of pisstivity when parents move on and find foolish people who believe they would make a better parent to children than the custodial or non-custodial parent.  And, trust me when I write, it really does rip my seat of toleration when these foolish people truly believe they are better than the parent in question.

Children don’t come with manuals.  And every parent (male or female) will make mistakes in parenting.  And I don’t give a hoot who spouts they are the better parent!  There are no perfect parents!  There are parents that do the best they can with what they have.  There are parents that are good parents because they do exceptional jobs at parenting!  But there are no perfect parents!  Like there are no perfect children.

 

Saturday Funnies: New Entrance Policy in Heaven

Photo credit: Unknown
Photo credit: Unknown

New Entrance Policy in Heaven
(Author Unknown)

One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and something had to be done.  So the Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at the gate and ask everyone how they died.  If it was a grisly story they told, they could go ahead into Heaven.  But if not, they had to go to Hell.

The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what’s happening.  “You see, Heaven is quite full today, and we have to ask everyone how they died.  If it sounds good, you can go ahead.  But if not, you go to Hell.”

“Ok,” the man says. “Well, for awhile I’d been suspecting my wife of cheating on me. So today I thought I’d leave work early and catch her.  Sure enough, I got to my apartment and she was lying naked on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching for the man but couldn’t find him.

Then I remembered that we lived on the 25th floor of an apartment building, and we have a balcony. And there was the man, hanging off my balcony. I beat at his hands and he just wouldn’t let go, so I ran and got a hammer and beat his hands until he fell into the bushes below. I saw he was still alive so I got the refrigerator and pushed over the edge on top of him. But the strain of the effort gave me a heart attack and I died.

“Wow!” St. Peter said. “That really is bad! You can go ahead…”

The next man walked up and St. Peter gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story.

“Ok,” the second man said. “So I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building, and everyday I do exercises on my balcony.  Well, today I fell over the edge, but luckily I caught the railing of the balcony below me.”

“Suddenly, this man came running out and started beating at my hands.  He ran back inside and I thought I was safe, but then he came back out with a hammer and beat my hands again. I finally fell off, but luckily I landed in the bushes below and they saved my life. But that wasn’t enough for the man because he pushed his refrigerator over the edge and it landed on me and killed me.  And now I’m here.”

“Wow, that’s a good one too! You can go ahead…”

The third man walked up and St. Peter again gave his spiel about Heaven being full and the man would have to tell his story of how he died.

“Ok,” the third man said. “I don’t know what happened. I was hiding naked inside this refrigerator…”

Should We Legalize Mercy Killings?

Love What Is It GrayUntil today I have never heard of dignity dying.

As I sat in silence watching the below video of a mother discussing how she put a pillow over her dying son’s face, I wonder about her choice. Upon later reflection, I asked myself could I aid or not aid one of my children in suicide.  Especially, since, at this point I’m not face with such a difficult situation.  And even if I tried to put myself in such an awful place I will always have the same answer.

One would think my strong faith in God and my belief “thou shalt not kill” take precedence over a person’s dying wish such as taking a life.  But I honestly believe I’m wired to respect life.  And God’s instructions just solidifies what I believe naturally.  But, I do, with a humanitarian frame of mind understand why this mother helped her son do the task of suicide.

Please understand, I’m certainly not in a position to say she was wrong.  She was a mother.  She was faced with a dilemma.  And she acted in thoughts of kindness by ending the suffrage of her son [period].