Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. James 1:13-14
I’m here, shaking my head at people who give terrible advice. Recently, I was talking with a long-time friend about my mortgage. He told me I couldn’t find a one-bedroom apartment for my current mortgage payment. His comment reminded me of a long-ago experience when I sought help with a utility bill. A customer service representative suggested I sell my house because I couldn’t afford the utilities. I found her suggestion offensive then and now. I’m grateful I persevered through my high mortgage payments. Now! I can live comfortably in a state and city I cherish.
At that time, I aspired to afford living in Colorado. My eagerness to pay my bills punctually might have lent unwarranted credibility to bad advice. Consequently, I could have sold my house and pursued apartment living as suggested by that woman. Wow! I’m really glad I didn’t take that route!
Not everyone who speaks freely and offers unsolicited advice truly has others’ best interests at heart. Therefore, prioritizing self-love should guide your life-changing decisions. With that said, it’s time for me to end this blog and go outside to work in my yard. Have a great weekend!
PRAYER
Lord, it’s the weekend; let us strive to be fruitful in our efforts. Amen.
But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48
Sometimes, you have to embody the words you preach!
Yesterday, I contacted a business regarding an issue with one of their products. In my first call, I spoke with a young Black woman. While she was managing my account, I shared my thoughts concerning the current situation in the U.S. Unfortunately, the call dropped, and I had to contact the company again to resolve the issue. Interestingly, the second representative I spoke to was a White woman. She started the conversation off on a sour note! Frustrated with her attitude, I requested a transfer, but she told me I had no choice but to continue speaking with her. In response, I said I would hang up and call back. I did just that! On my third call, I talked to another Black woman. I got straight to the point because I didn’t want the call to drop, and while she was assisting me, we discussed something that prompted her to say, “I live in a poor state.” The way she expressed it made me feel she felt trapped. We managed to resolve the issue, and the call ended with pleasantries and her feeling unheard regarding a personal disappointment.
To my surprise, she called me on her cell phone! I answered. I usually don’t answer calls unless I recognize the number or anticipate a business inquiry. Our conversation was brief, but nothing I said seemed to alleviate the pain she was expressing. Her responses made it evident that she felt isolated in her struggles as if she were the only one experiencing what she was going through.
This morning, I received a message that my Facebook page was scheduled for permanent removal due to trademark violations. A Meta’s customer service representative offered me the option to file a complaint, but I have none—it’s their business and their rules. I chose to move forward calmly. Although I was surprised that the email didn’t specify the content that was being violated, I responded that I respect others’ rights and understand Facebook/Meta must act in their interests. With that said, “Black Women Have It Going On” remains true regardless of the status of a Facebook page. Let’s pray!
PRAYER
Father God, I express my gratitude for the ability to read, understand, and the freedom to articulate my thoughts. I ask that I never intentionally use my blessings to harm others, regardless of whether they deserve such a response. I urge you to visit every workplace and bring forth the spirit of peace, freeing individuals who feel trapped, believing their current position is the ultimate goal. Show them the many opportunities that await. Amen
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:2
Photo by A. A. Harrison
I live in Colorado and today I’ve come to realize our foothills are considered mountains in other states. And the same can be applied to clutter and or problems. My hardest struggles might be solved easily by someone else and vice versa. And! During my clutter removing journey I’m having to remind myself daily about celebrating small victories. Doing so is part of self love because loving myself has been one of the hardest things in life. Yet, many of my friends have perfected self love and I admire them for their abilities; mainly, because God wants us to love everyone including ourselves. Let’s pray!
PRAYER
Father God, hold our hands as we learn to love ourselves and others, including our enemies. Amen
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Psalm 40:2 NIV
Photo by Maxim Hopman
I’d been standing in the same section of stuff trying to make unwanted unsure decisions because I know clutter is a sign of indecisiveness. And procrastination only keeps people in the dark holes of life. So! To make a small difference in my life I grabbed four boxes of men’s shoes that went unsold. I placed them on an empty bin and stood there paralyzed. It was clear I wasn’t ready to make a chain of choices since how to get rid of the shoes made me perplexed. However, the one thing I understood and understand is that change is needed if I want to get back in the game of life. Therefore, I need to be equally kind to myself as I have and always am with others. So I give myself permission on this decluttering journey to take 15 minutes for private meltdowns. In doing so, making small life changing choices when it comes to clearing physical clutter may come a bit easier. Mainly, because I’ve given myself a face and told my soul I matter too. And should you find yourself in the same boat as me, I give you permission to be kind to yourself for charity truly starts at home. Blessing to you and yours from me and mine. Let’s pray!
PRAYER
Father God, lift our souls from the depths of despair. Amen
For different reasons people will indirectly/directly involve you in their insanity. And! As long as you’re sitting on the sidelines you can opt to get off the rollercoaster of madness. Hopefully before it’s too late. Because when you start playing their game! With their rules! And! With their agenda you lose everything that makes life a wonderful journey, self-worth. Let’s Pray!
PRAYER
Father God, thank you for another day. Trouble surrounds me. Keep my soul at peace during the storm and my eyes on Christ. Pepper my words with your strength and your love when I speak. Give my heart a song to sing and let my feet dance and rejoice in your goodness. Amen
I have this neighbor and she makes a daily list of things she needs to do or complete. Her house is spotless. Her lawn looks amazing! Her health is excellent. She looks younger than 51 years old. She has a body that would put a twentyish to shame. She drove her ex-husband crazy with her list. She makes her children run and hide for cover when it’s time to do daily chores. She even has her pets on schedules. Each cat and her dog know when to expect their monthly baths! Yes! Her cats get bathe without clawing . . . They know the routine. She has an amazing dating life! She expect the men she dates to give her their best! Some would say she sounds like a “female dog,” but those who value their time and expect the most out of life would say she has it going on. I can tell you it’s Saturday and she is cleaning her home and she is planning to meet some successful guy later for dinner and or a movie. So, how are you spending your time today?
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly be that kind of a friend for your friends. ~ Mark Twain
About a year ago my husband and I were having marital problems. I hated him. He hated me. He blamed me for our financial problems. I blamed him for our financial burdens. It was clear to see my husband and I were at war. And, sadly, those that loved me took my side of things.
With a hint of amusement their marital advice normally centered around sex came at the wrong time in my life.
It was bad enough that I was dealing with a bad marriage. But having to deal with accepting my loved ones as out of control horny women just complicated matters. I wasn’t in need of sex! I needed sound judgment and advice. But what I got was the freak show extraordinaire! And when I write “horny women” I mean they were and are ‘horny women.’ And God bless their little hearts!
Beyond question the conversations between me and my loved ones made me blush of shame. I was so embarrassed for them, especially when they started going into details. OMG! Who were these women? How could I have not known these wonderful women walked on the wild-side of freakishness? Who knew? Cause I didn’t know! And when they became willing to share their sexual adventures I became scared for them!
One Caucasian friend was full of sexual suggestions. First, she told me I was in my prime and I needed to find a young man in his prime (age 36+). What! Sorry! But I’m not into younger men. However, I’m not going to say I didn’t consider having an affair but a younger man never enter my thoughts. And as a mom I would feel creepy having sex with someone around my children’s ages. I was in disbelief that my friend could even suggest that I date a young man! But! Hey! To each their own! Right?!! Right.
Needless to say my facial expression took on many forms as she was giving me poor advice. I knew her indiscreet but caring words were expressed to help me overcome my marital woes. Yet, had I followed her bad advice I would have made matters worse. And, besides, what woman in her prime really wants a sweaty young man pouncing on her fragile and aging body. Seriously!
I think as a person gets older they recognize their body is becoming fragile. And because of aging the perception of people really seek to find the truest meaning of intimacy to sexual pleasures.
Honestly, I no longer thirst for sex like a young woman in heat. I stopped allowing men to abuse my body years ago. And as I’ve grown older I want intimacy instead of acrobatic sexual encounters.
I would calmly write, after years of searching for wholeness, my age, my soul, and my spirit are now on one accord. And all the parts of me agree that I’m older and passed the desires of uncontrollable lust. Unconstrained lusts that make people do foolish things for sex! So, like I said, my friend’s suggestion, if taken, would have only complicated matters. And I’m so glad that my prayer “Lord, help me grow old gracefully” won out.
But when I didn’t take her advice on getting a younger man she came up with another plan to help me. I inwardly thought, “Does this woman ever quit giving bad advice!” because her second plan was funnier than the first. Below is the conversation between her and myself one-day:
Joyce: It looks like I’m going to have to pull out the blue boy since my hubby will be working late hours. Me: (Inwardly Thinking) “blue boy?” (Finally asking) Joyce what the hell is a ‘blue boy?’ Joyce: It’s my toy! Me: Your toy! You got one of them things? Joyce: Yeh! Don’t you? Me: Hell! No! (laughing historically) Joyce: Well! I’m going to buy you a BIG black one when I get some monies! Me: Oh, no! I don’t need one of those things! Joyce: Yes, you do, little Missy!
I was so appalled that my friend would state that she was going to by me a sex toy. I thought she was overstepping her boundaries. And, regrettably, I didn’t have the nerves to tell her such. However, I did have the grit to discuss the matter with others.
After sharing the story with those in my circle I found out many of them had sex toys! OMG! What’s wrong with people! Why has society become so sex craved?!!! What ever happened to modesty?
Each found my reaction to my friends’ statement hilarious. They laughed and made jokingly comments as if I was out of touch with the birds and the bees. But I have news for them: As long as I am alive I will always have sexual thoughts. I will always want to be sexually pleased by my husband as I am pleasing to him. And if I gotta have a toy what does that say about my husband ability to satisfy me? And how will having a toy make my husband truly feel as a man? And what types of sexual deviants will I open when allowing such into my bedroom? I don’t even want to imagine what would or could happen!
Flash back moment: I just thought about that movie by Tyler Perry. Now what was the title? Hum . . . Temptation! That’s it! That movie was so true to life. I could only stand to watch it once. Once was enough for me to get the message about self-destruction being nicely wrapped in a pretty package of promiscuity and naïvety. Well any-who-how . . . The conversation that pushed me over the edge when it came to owning sex toys was with a younger family member.
Family member: You need to get you a toy. Me: You got one of them, too? Family member: Yeah! Don’t you? Me: Hell, no! Family member: You should get one. As a matter of fact mines need new batteries. I’m working on my second one! That’s all I give to brides at bridal showers. Me: (Laughing too hard to say without chopping my sentence.) I don’t think so! Family member: Why not? Me: I like the real thing. Besides I would never want my kids to find such should I die. Family member: What the hell will you care. You’re dead!
I must admit her last statement was true. I would be dead and my cares for this world would no longer be an issue. But I’m a wife to a wonderful over the road truck driver. I’m a mother of three awesome black men. I’m a step-mother to four beautiful white women. I’m a grandmother with eight grandchildren. I’m a daughter to a wonderful and lively old woman. And even though I don’t like my sister’s, I love them and respect them despite of our differences that keep us apart. I have some amazing nieces and nephews that I love as if they were my own children. I have wonderful aunts and uncles and a host of cousins I consider closer than siblings. I have an array of friends that I love like brothers and sisters. And with so much love abound I’m realizing I’m blessed! Truly blessed! And the one legacy I want to leave all that love me and all that I love is self-respect.
What I leave behind should not become a final moral issue for my family, friends, and loved ones to deal with. And more importantly I do not want my son’s to see nor neither handle such a personal item as a sex toy. The thought of them discovering such a thing makes me sick as their mom and as a woman. I know my words sound prudish but I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I just think people are jumping off the cliff of self-respect and killing themselves morally because they can’t control their sexual impulses.
They’re born everyday! They walk among us and they seek who the can destroy. They spiritually feed off misery and the ignorance of others becomes their playground.
Some believe such people come from homes where there is no love and or where hate is taught. But that is not true! Mean-spirited people come from all walks of life. They are born to every race and every gender; and prejudice of any kind makes it harder to discover such people. For example, I learned in the circle I once traveled that all whites were bad, most if not all white men molested children, white people smell, white people have no color, white people are from the devil, and finally “all white people are rich”. And even though I know better now by understanding people are people, there are still people (white, black, blue, purple and brown) that buy into racial nonsense. And that’s the reason I’m blogging about mean people coming from all walks of life. And had it not been for my encounter this past weekend, as a black woman, with a mean-spirited white man I know I would have not come up with such a blog post; because, like I stated, had I not known about the evils of humanity or understood mean-spirited people I could see where the confrontation could have gotten out of control.
The Simple Truth Is
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. We all have the ability to be bad. We all can become sexually deviant. We all have the capability to smell when we forego bathing. We all have skin pigmentation. We all have the ability to do the devil’s bidding. And not all white people are rich! People are people despite race, creed, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. What make us different spiritually when it comes to our existence are choices. Really, it’s just that simple.
Choices
People chose to be cruel. And sadly they use race, gender, sexual preferences, religion, politics and such to carry out their unkind deeds. They’ve rehearsed role-playing so much in their small minds that they seek the perfect conditions to be spirit exterminators. It’s never hard to figure out their agenda after cavy encounters. They’re usually standing/sitting with smirks of satisfactions on their faces. They are usually braggers that are empty vessels. And they try to fill their emptiness by insulting people publicly or privately as they exercise the power of choice.
Lesson Learned
Never stoop to their level. Recognize mean-spirited people for who they are [empty vessels] and remove yourself from their presence [period].
A few years after my mother died, I remembered more vividly the times in childhood when she had made gloomy days seem cheerful. When something special to do inside, such as new paper dolls or a coloring book. Later, when I was in school, I always knew that on a rainy day I would come home to the smell of cookies baking in the oven . . .
I remembered, too, that in my childhood my mother had always balanced grief with comfort, pain with joy . . . To compensate for my childhood illnesses, for example, she used to read me stories which made the afternoon fly, or she would show me how to knit doll clothes out of the scraps of yarn which she had saved in a worn, brocade knitting bag . . .
Whatever the specific method used, my mother had learned, long before I knew her, how to balance pain with pleasure.
Elizabeth Skoglund
Today’s Prayer:
Lord somewhere in the world there are people in mental anguish over life’s trials and tribulations. Often such pain is psychologically unbearable. During these moments sometimes people don’t have the ability to hold their heads high with the assurance of knowing God’s powers to set things right. Because of their inability to see your spiritual support most times every breath taken produce questions of their existence. Lord to be honest it is during these times when emotional pain makes a person feel every so often they do not have much use for others. And everything accomplished is tarnished with the shadow of sorrow; as it seems to their misfortune they were not given loved ones to uplift them during moments of afflictions. Hum . . . Lord, it is within our moments of tribulations that we see the hand prints of God on our lives. Therefore, I’m asking for your Holy presence among those who have yet to learn how to balance pain with pleasure. Lord I’m asking that you teach them that sorrow only last for a moment. Lord, I’m also praying they learn how to allow thoughts of joy to diminish their temporary gloomy day(s). So, again, Lord, I’m asking that you turn on your spiritual lights for these people that they might see how to truly balance pain with pleasure; and in turn they will enjoy living once again. Amen.
Black Women Have It Going On 