The Prayer’s of Black Women

March 15

A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

A couple of months back a friend took over her daughter’s broken relationship. It became [to me] a Facebook tell all shame a thon. It was done to shame the cheating boyfriend and restore the jilted daughter’s honor. Unfortunately, mom and child became victims of bad advice; mainly, because those that care for them wanted the best for them. Sadly, we live in a time where we avoid pain in an effort to feel wanted. And we rob the soul of searching and seeking greater understanding of our existence.


Father God, thank you for another day, please bless all who read this simple prayer with at least one friend that is faithful to their relationship and be a beacon of your truth. Amen

A Sibling’s Love and Sacrifices

Owner of Photo Unknown

The story about the heroic actions of a brother named Bridger touched and will continue to impact my life.

I belong to a very large family.  My experiences with them leave me questioning the true meaning of family.
My mom died in May.  My world was shattered! 
The next thing I knew I had two adult women come at me sideways. They felt they had the rights to speak to me in tones of disrespect.  From their behavior and voices I became me, brutally honest.  I told them they weren’t my nieces.  Both women became besides themselves.  It was clear to see they felt they could reject but frowned on being rejected.  
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.  1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV
It was apparent the younger sister was following the older sister as each put their heads together to bring down their giant, this giant, the one they created in their minds.  So I quietly stood my ground as each did what they felt needed to satisfy their delusional souls.  But!  It wasn’t the hate and hateful actions of the two women that throw me for a loop it was the actions of my oldest sister once again that caught me off guard!
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Well! I tried to be understanding and put myself as the executor in my oldest sister’s position. And I kept her in the loop of things as I talked to this person and that person concerning our mother’s estate. Only for me to find out she is, as I suspected, part of the reason why these two out-of-control women have made it their objective to destroy me.
My mom had 5 children, three girls, one boy and one unaccounted for. My mom taught me to be responsible for and to my siblings. The older two children raised by my saintly grandmother never learned that lesson. They were selfish as kids, especially the middle oldest girl and they grew into selfish adults. Neither women have ever came to my aid when I found my back against the wall. Instead they joined my enemies to do whatever evil as my mom watched.
While writing this long ass story, I’m gaining understanding that my mom’s youthful decisions paralyzed her when it came to correcting her older children’s behavior. And, sadly, their jealous ways were passed onto their children.  And each are okay with their destructive behaviors when it comes to me and my family.
My mom is gone. I can’t exit the final act of our journey together until her estate is settled.  The life I crave dances behind curtains of unknowns. But one thing I know that’s worth the wait is cultivating stronger relationships with my children and friends.
Bridger’s story brings joy and sadness to my heart at the same time.
His sister is blessed beyond her ability to comprehend the sacrifices her 6 year old brother gave to protect her life.  Their parents have done a great job at teaching them about love and life.  Way to go!  
Every younger sibling wishes and long for the protection of the oldest sibling. In my case I didn’t get that. What I got was a life conviction of being tied to sisters that weren’t worthy of my loyalty and love on any level. Yet the love I have and held for the woman responsible for my beautiful life I love kept me trying to give birth to something not wanted.
My mom’s death released me from her one-sided mindset of what family should have been.  And as I read the below Facebook comment on Denver 7 ABC I grew new understanding about family, life and love:
Jéanne Botes Best brother ever! Not just for saving her, but for not abandoning her when things got tough and leaving her to face that horror alone. That’s the real meaning of family! 

His Daughter’s Response to: A Message of Hope to His Daughter

Photo credit:  Annette Harrison
Photo credit: Annette Harrison

Today I got a question asking if my husband’s daughter got the email we sent her nearly a week ago.  Yes, she got the email and with her dad’s permission I’m posting her response.

I am not upset at all. Every statement is the truth. I know that about myself. I put unrealistic expectations on Jake. A friend of mine (who likes to counsel me for free) helped me see through the crap that I believe should be true. She helped me realize that I was spoon fed to be totally  dependant on a man and he should take care of your every need. You shouldn’t  have to work and you should be in tons of debt to reach that ‘American dream.’ The exact line is..’you aren’t  a real member of society unless..’ And for so long I have believed that. I am 22 years old and have a monstrous amount of debt because I was told at a young age that that is how you are successful.  No, it makes you stressed arena sick. There are ways to have those great things, like a house or a new car, without being overcome with a great amount of debt. It is called saving. Something Jake and I were never taught and are trying to teach ourselves now. It is very difficult. Because we were taught you weren’t  anyone unless you have tons of material  items. His  step-dad is very materialistic. His mom isn’t  but his step-dad, just like my mother, make you feel terrible  about your accomplishments if they aren’t  to their standards. I am working on my attitude everyday. Every morning  I wake up and I think of something I am thankful for. I may not like my job but my coworke just gave me all of her Thursdays and my Fridays back. That means 30 hours a week instead of 10. And that means I will also quality  for insurance  through the union. I may hate getting up early but it keeps a roof over my head, it keeps food in my cabinets and so that I am able to buy Layla’s  meds. I am working on not being too hard on Jake. That one is really  hard because he isn’t great at staying on top of important  things. And when he doesn’t  stay on top of it it makes me feel like he has not been truthful with me. So many times in the past he has not been. We are working on it and d everyday is a new day.

I love you!