Finding Peace Amidst Envy: My Personal Reflection

that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45

Hello! Life is usually remarkable, but yesterday, I was briefly in a funk. The woman inside of me gave myself 24 hours to process the emotion of envy. Especially since I knew what bothered me didn’t have a lasting impact on me, either directly or indirectly. So, what triggered envy within me?

Long story short, a messy, deceitful, and mean-spirited neighbor is moving out of Denver before me. When I saw the for-sale sign being placed in her yard, I instantly felt upset! My emotions were all over the place! I experienced a mix of guilt and shame over my envy. And! Sadly, I couldn’t contain those runaway feelings!

Watching my rival move away is really difficult, especially since she’s heading to a town I’ve always dreamed of living in. However, I truly believe that God wants me to sincerely wish her all the best. I’m not there yet, but I’m gradually working on it and staying positive!

I’m documenting this as it happens. I’m giving myself 24 hours to gain more confidence in my own journey. This change will alter my outlook, and I expect spiritual growth to follow.

My attitude toward a real enemy reminds me that everyone faces challenges. Seeking help and forgiveness is a positive step forward. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, sometimes forgiving others can be really hard, especially when the pain runs deep and the wounds feel overwhelming. But I know you understand everything we’re going through and why we feel the way we do. So, I entrust my hurt to you, asking for your help to heal the wounds that seem so heavy. Please bless my enemies on their journey, and let your grace always be with them. Amen.

Day Six – You’re Not Alone

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Good day! I hope to convey the essence of this blog in just two to three brief paragraphs, focusing on God’s omnipresence. He exists in the past, present, and future.

Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity to catch up with a dear friend who means so much to me. Even though she looked a bit pale, I initially thought she had a tough week. Imagine my surprise when she revealed that her week was actually fantastic! I couldn’t help but feel concerned about what might be stressing this gentle soul.

As I shared stories about my oldest and his children, she listened intently. Then, when I touched on an issue I hadn’t realized she was dealing with, her tears unexpectedly flowed. At that moment, I quietly shifted my focus, understanding it was her turn to open up and share her troubles.

She quickly shared her “shameful” feelings regarding something she’d done. I listened, stunned, thinking, “Oh wow!” Given her character, it was hard to believe what I was hearing. My mind immediately drifted to my blog post about “Bad Advice.” I certainly didn’t want to give my friend poor counsel, nor did I wish to hear all the messy details. Yet, she revealed them through her tears and her seeking relief from pain. As her friend, I suggested we find a solution together. We talked about what led to her current situation and began plotting a plan of action despite the heavy atmosphere of her stress!

To lighten the mood, I shared one of my most embarrassing moments. Her expression turned goofy as she was surprised I could be so silly! I believe we both began laughing at once. Then she exhaled! Following that, it was clear to see her emotions of hopelessness making way to let God assist her in overcoming her feelings of shame as she and He work to address and fix the issues that imprisoned her. Over time, her shame will fade away, becoming less and less of a burden each day. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, you are not the source of confusion but the great deliverer. Please spiritually liberate those who are trapped in emotional prisons due to shameful moments. Grant them the capacity to forgive themselves. Help them fix the problem and learn from these experiences to enhance their lives and become better individuals. Amen

Praying Luke 12:48

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. Luke 12:48 NIV

This weekend was exhausting! I encountered family conflict while trying to help a loved one achieve a more positive outcome. Unfortunately, I often ignore signs that my help isn’t needed because I see the unmet need or needs. And this weekend wasn’t different when it comes to how I spring into action when a loved one is having a hard time. After my feelings were hurt once again, I began to question why I help those who don’t want my help, even though they need it! Because it’s not like I don’t have tasks to start and finish in my own life. Yet! Out of gratitude for the blessings I’ve received from God and others, I’ve tried to help people without regard for the harm I may sustain, and, without fail, I always end up emotionally drained. Between you and me, I know that God doesn’t want His children to be unperceptive to how our actions impact our lives. He says, “After you have done all that you can do, stand therefore and know that I am God.” Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Lord, I’m here again in a public space, offering a heartfelt prayer. This past weekend provided me and many others a valuable opportunity to reflect on our actions. Today, I lift up prayers for those who share my spirit, striving to assist those with unmet needs, especially when the person in need may feel that everything is fine. Often, those who oppose our help express their concerns quite vocally and might even convey their frustrations in a hurtful manner. Their sometimes kind yet bitter words can truly sting! So today, Lord, I pray that we hear from you. Please help me and others navigate these feelings and grant us your divine guidance to know when to offer assistance, share your truth, or simply stand in awe, acknowledging that you are indeed God. Amen.

Where the Spirit Is

“SEEK MY FACE, and you will find not only My Presence but also My Peace. To receive My Peace, you must change your grasping, controlling stance to one of openness and trust. The only thing you can grasp without damaging your soul is My hand. Ask My Spirit within you to order your day and control your thoughts, for the mind controlled by the Spirit is Life and Peace.

You can have as much of Me and My Peace as you want through thousands of correct choices each day. The most persistent choice you face is whether to trust Me or to worry. You will never run out of things to worry about, but you can choose to trust Me no matter what. I am an ever-present help in trouble. Trust Me, though the earth give way and the mountains full into the heart of the sea.” Romans 8:6 Psalm 46:1-2 taken from Jesus is Calling

Over the past two to three weeks, I have experienced significant stress, particularly due to the extensive media coverage and private conversations regarding President Trump’s actions. Usually, once our new president is sworn in, I go about my life and let things unfold as they may. However, the private conversations about his actions and their potential impact on Black America have been exhausting. Those discussions have greatly affected me because many in the Black community have turned away from God. Instead of seeking divine guidance, they look for the loudest and most self-serving voices to represent us when we, as a community, should first seek God’s presence and then address the issues at hand. Sigh. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. I ask for Your spirit to surround the United States and its people. I implore that peace be granted to all, regardless of our leadership. I pray that when our President makes decisions, his actions reflect Your will. Amen.

Day Forty Two – Removing Clutter

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,”
Ephesians 3:20

Yesterday, I did something unexpected and amazing! I took down the once white faux plantation blinds in the kitchen window. Sadly they had turned several shades of brown, ranging from near white to a dark dirty scary splotchy browns. And adding to their unsightly appearance was the heavy gray dust that probably was hosting a party for germs of all sorts. Honestly, I’d seen the condition of the blinds a month or so ago from the outside and made a mental note to clean them. Yet, cleaning those blinds didn’t seem as important to me as nursing my depression, disappointments, anger, and etc. But, yesterday, as I stood at the kitchen window listening to Priscilla Shirer, I felt the spirit of the living God move within me. It was clear it didn’t matter what choir I did as long as I did something to show I was still in the game of life. So, I got the small ladder we use to climb in bed. Took it to the sink cabinet. Climb up. Unlatched the brackets holding up the blinds. Took the blinds down. I filled one side of the sink with one third of water and added a large amount of Clorox to a few drops of Dawn. The process of washing the blinds was not easy because my mind is filled with everything. Yet, I managed to clean the blinds and was blessed with a feeling of accomplishment at the end. A feeling I’ve been longing to experience but couldn’t because of my mindset of feeling overwhelmed. Let’s pray!

PRAYER:

Father God, most times we are blind to the meaning of our emotions. Please remove the scales off our spiritual eyes that prohibit us from seeing spiritually and let us see why we do what we do. Afterwards, give us your peace, your understanding and your strength to make necessary changes that will help us grow in you. Amen

Day Thirty Three – Removing Clutter

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV

When I was a young, single and a mom, I would pray the 31st Proverbs over my life. Then one day I realized God had fulfilled my request. I was alone when I discovered my prayer had been answered and I remember casting the sweetest smile of becoming one of my greatest desires. My children are grown and two of them live miles away from me. They are living their best lives as I seek to regain traction after my journey was interrupted by the foolishness of others. Yet, even on this stressful journey God is teaching me I must rejoice in good times and in bad times. Progress isn’t happening as fast as I would like but it is happening. Just the other day I decided to unload boxes [I stress boxes] of coupon finds of shampoo and conditioners to charities. Not sure of the recipients but I don’t have time to try and sell the items, as I need the space. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Jesus, let us rejoice everyday in knowing you’re our shepherd! Amen

Day Twenty Seven – Removing Clutter

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
John 14:27

When I was a young woman my dad would always say, “My home is my sanctuary.” Meaning his home was his sanctuary. He was so at peace with apartment life that he kept his door slightly opened as he sat at his kitchen table in nothing but his whitety tighties! It’s clear to see he disregarded how his behavior could have made his neighbors uncomfortable. But! My son’s who were used to wearing bed/street clothing in our home quickly suggested to their grandfather to put clothing on during one of their visits. My dad told them, “This is my house.” So, as young men who wanted to spend time with their grandfather they overlooked what temporarily made them uncomfortable.

Now! I totally disagree with my dad’s actions when it came to him sitting around in his undies with the door open and in the presence of others. But! I wholeheartedly agreed with him that our homes are our sanctuaries! And! With each new day we need to protect its tranquility. As why I’m on this clutter removing journey because I DO NOT function well in chaos, never have and never will! Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, give those that seek peace your peace. Amen

Day Twenty Five – Removing Clutter

October 21 2023

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Well! Several days ago, I made it to the Salvation Army with my donations! When I opened the sliding door to the middle cavity of my van the guy said, “Wow! You got this car filled!.” Oh! Yes! I did have my car filled! And, I plan on filling it again until my home no longer has clutter. And, yes, I even donated those really nice storage bins because I’m not playing. I gotta get my home cleared, clean and remodeled.

Today I’m packing the car with items that can hopefully benefit Habitat For Humanity. All the items I’ve purchased within the last 20 years to upgrade the upstairs and or finished the basement of my home are outdated and taking up prime real estate in my garage. So! They gotta go! Including those 2 cases of red Christmas lights [tire screech]! I might want to rethink giving away the red Christmas lights! Especially since things are so expensive now! Ok! I’ll keep the cases of Christmas lights but I gotta give up something else to make space for them on a shelf. This is a Winnie the Pooh moment, think think think. I know! I can donate those ceiling fans I couldn’t sell on Facebook MarketPlace years ago. Clutter problem solved!

Side note: I haven’t posted in a couple of days because I fell off the wagon when it came to removing clutter from my home. Life happens! However, this morning I’ve dusted myself off from the fall and I’m back in the saddle! I have a house to clean and remodeling projects to complete! Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, sometimes we fall and our hurt determines how long we stay down. Today, Lord, I ask that you whisper in the ears of those that feel defeated they are loved. Loved by you, your son, the Holy Spirit and people like me that believe in you. Amen

Day Twentytwo: Removing Clutter

October 15, 2023

The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.
PSALM 33:11

As I write about my experiences with renovating my mom’s home and dealing with the snaky ex, I’m quickly reminded that some things perceivably hard and or bad gotta work a certain way to bring God’s plan to the forefront for our lives. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, thank you for your strength and always let it be front and center on our journey. Amen

Day Twenty-one: Removing Clutter

October 10, 2023

They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
Titus 1:16 ESV

Why was I crying about the missed opportunity when it came to working with my friend? Well, I’ve done DIY projects forever. Twenty years ago I remodeled my first home I’d purchase for $43,500 and later sold it for $175,000. I made a nice profit of $131,500! As a result, I was able to pay off several student loans, pay several creditors off, move my children and myself to a better neighborhood and pay cash for a new car to boot! So, after years of remodeling my current home, I felt I could increase the estate’s finances by renovating my mom’s home after she had died. The task was easier said than done! Remodeling my own home on my own time and dime is one thing but when I entered into the construction arena with little to no knowledge, I became easy prey! Therefore, I found myself doing jobs that were harder than what I’ve ever done because of the outrageous bids I got. I became extremely tired and physically sick from it all. So, I cried because I knew my friend had the resources to help me. I didn’t know how to contact her. My ex rents her basement apartment and knew I was struggling. Yet, he never said a word to either she nor I to lighten my load. What a snake! It has always been about him! Never about the kids and surely never about the woman that gave him two wonderful gifts he claims he loves. And tomorrow always comes with him saying “I’m a nice guy.” What a freakin snake! Sigh. Let’s pray!

PRAYER

Father God, protect your children by covering them with the blood of Jesus. Amen.