Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are tall and the truth sets us free! Today is Wednesday, May 27th, and my faith is secured in Christ Jesus! Thanks for stopping by my blog as we look at “How to Eat the Elephant.”

As I write this unnamed series, I share my thoughts with my husband long before they go public. Yesterday, something incredible happened. For the first time, he came alive emotionally. Usually, he is tough as nails, keeping his private wounds behind a locked door, but the idea of a parent being an “enemy” struck a chord that made him animated and full of energy. Seeing him open up like that was a gift I didn’t see coming.

It made me think about a question my first therapist, Dr. Rod Cooper, once asked me: “If I gave you an elephant to eat, how would you eat it?” Back then, as a people-pleaser, I probably gave an answer just to satisfy him. But today? Today, I would carve that elephant into pieces I know I could digest with ease. I would study the undesirable parts, acknowledging the struggle it takes to process them, until finally, I had eaten the whole thing and moved on to the next adventure.

Unearthing the truth that my mother was my first real enemy was a power-shift. Being a mother myself helped me differentiate childhood rivals from the real architects of chaos. It explained why I never guarded myself from toxic people—I had been conditioned to make myself available to them. But as I have these life-changing breakthroughs, my husband is right by my side. He believes my mom and brother were in that house with me all along, waiting for the right day to make themselves known. If they were there, and they were, it was with God’s blessing, and there is something truly awesome about the thought of Heaven’s permission to finally be understood.

The Takeaway for Us

1. The Elephant Strategy: Healing from deep family trauma is a massive undertaking. One must realize that the only way to process it is one “piece” at a time—studying the hard parts, digesting the truth, and then moving forward.
2. Naming the Architect: When we identify a parent as our first “enemy,” we break the conditioning that makes us stay available to toxic people. Awareness is the first boundary we ever truly own.
3. The Contagious Breakthrough: Your healing is never just about you. When you are brave enough to eat your elephant in the light, you give the “tough” people around you the permission to start facing their own hunger for the truth.

Community Challenge

If you had to look at your past as an “elephant,” which piece are you currently trying to digest? Is it a parent’s deceit, a sibling’s loss, or your own conditioning? This week, readers are challenged to stop trying to swallow the whole thing at once. What is one small piece of truth you can sit with today?

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” — Luke 10:19 (KJV)
• Prayer: Father, prayer is offered for the couples who are unearthing their elephants together. We thank You for the breakthroughs that soften “tough” hearts and for the therapists who give us the tools to digest our history. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: One must realize that being “present with the Lord” means our loved ones finally see the truth without the veil of earthly pride. A sibling’s return and a spouse’s awakening are proof that God’s blessings are found in the pieces of the elephant we finally choose to face. See you tomorrow!