Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are steady even when the stories shift! Today is Friday, May 15th, and my faith is anchored in the One who knows the heart of every man. Thank you for walking through this complex week with me.

As a family historian, I often talk about uncovering the truth. But what happens when you are hit with stories that simply don’t match the person you loved? What do we do when the “data” we hear decades later feels like it belongs to a complete stranger—someone we never witnessed, and a version of a person that doesn’t align with the individual we knew?

This is the “Silent Middle.” It’s the place where you have to hold two conflicting images of the same person in your heart at the same time. Because they are gone and cannot speak for themselves, we are left as the keepers of a story that feels like it has been hijacked. It is a jarring experience to hear these “revelations” coming from the very people who were sources of volatility in our own lives. It leaves us wondering: Is the story the truth, or is the story just another weapon?

I am learning that in these moments, my peace doesn’t have to wait for a verdict. I don’t have to “solve” the mystery of who they were to everyone else to honor who they were to me. We can choose to live in our “truly different” reality—one where we love the memory we hold dear, while leaving the judgment of the accusations to God.

The Takeaway for Us

1. The Integrity of Your Experience: Your personal history is valid. The person you knew and the bond you shared are not erased by stories told by people who didn’t truly value either of you.
2. Questioning the Source: A family historian learns that the “messenger” matters as much as the message. If the stories come from a place of past volatility, you are allowed to hold them with a grain of salt.
3. Surrendering the Verdict: When a loved one is gone, we don’t have to become their judge and jury. Real peace comes when we realize that God is the only one who truly knows the “whys” and the “whats” of a life.

Community Challenge

Have you ever struggled because the person you remember doesn’t match the stories being told about them? How do you find peace when you can’t verify the “truth”? This weekend, I challenge you to let the “Silent Middle” simply be. How does it feel to trust your own heart over the whispers of others?

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “Judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness…” — 1 Corinthians 4:5 (KJV)
• Prayer: Father, we lay these conflicting stories at Your feet. We thank You that You alone know the truth of every heart and every history. Give us peace as we navigate the memories of those we loved and the shadows we cannot explain. Help us to walk in the light of the peace You have given us today. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: You are not a traitor to the truth for loving the person you knew. God’s grace is big enough for the whole, complicated story. You can honor the love you had without carrying the weight of stories you never saw. Have a blessed weekend!