Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are tall and the truth is coming home! Today is Tuesday, May 12th, and my faith is secured in Christ Jesus! Thanks for stopping by my blog as we peel back the layers of a shared history.

It’s been a few days since I’ve been able to sit down and write. To be honest, trying to chronicle our lives has been a battle. I couldn’t figure out the “whys” behind my missing memories—specifically, why I couldn’t recall a single High School football game of Butch’s. Then, during some deep soul-searching, it hit me: four years. That tiny gap in our ages changed everything about our perception and our presence.

As a family historian, the archives of my mind finally gave up a secret: I wasn’t even in Colorado when Butch was under those stadium lights. I was living in Arkansas. Someone had spotted me skipping school and hanging out in Denver’s City Park, and before I knew it, my mom had me on a plane to live with her older sister. By the time Butch was a High School star, I had already graduated and moved on. We only overlapped in elementary school for a brief moment, yet the stresses of our home made him seem as old as me and me as young as him. My “memories” of his sports glory weren’t mine at all—they were my mother’s recantings that I had adopted as my own. Realizing this has shifted my perspective; the things I held against her weren’t always what they seemed.

The Takeaway for Us

• The Perspective of the Gap: One realizes that age differences in a volatile home can create entirely different “nations” of experience. Four years can be the difference between being a witness and being an exile.
• Adopted Memories: We often carry the stories of our parents as if they were our own. Distinguishing between what we actually saw and what we were told is a vital step in the long walk toward healing.
• The Mercy of “Why”: A family historian finds peace when the “whys” are answered. Understanding the logistics of our past allows us to release the guilt of what we missed and the resentment of what we thought we lost.

Community Challenge

Is there a “missing chapter” in your family history that makes you feel guilty? This week, do some soul-searching of your own. Look at the dates and the ages. You might find that you weren’t “absent”—you were simply in a different season. How does that realization change how you view your parents today?

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” — John 8:32 (KJV)
• Prayer: Father, we thank You for the moments of clarity that solve the mysteries of our hearts. We ask for healing for the “exiles” who were sent away and for the siblings who grew up in different worlds under the same name. Thank You for the truth that releases us from old grudges. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: Your memory isn’t “broken”; it was just protecting the pieces until you were strong enough to put them together. The distance of the past cannot dim the light of the present. The truth is here, and you are free to walk in it. See you tomorrow!