Black Women Have It Going On

Two years ago, I wrote a post during a deep season of physical and spiritual clutter. At the time, I was trying to process the despair of spending seven years tending to everyone else’s wounds while my own went completely unnoticed and unattended. I wrote about how clutter stems from indecision, and how we must hand our burdens to God to heal.

Reading that post today took me right back to that place of struggling. But looking at it now, I see it with an entirely new lens of clarity.

I realize now that so many of those struggles could have been avoided entirely.

The hard truth I had to face was that I stayed in those dark holes because I wanted affirmation from people incapable of affirming me. I sought validation from a circle that didn’t know how to care for my soul.

We must learn a profound lesson about the people we allow into our lives: when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

We waste so much time hoping people will change, or hoping that if we pour enough of ourselves into them, they will finally see us, value us, and affirm us. But the reality is that people can’t give you anything certain except troubles you don’t need and didn’t want.

In 2023, I was just beginning to cry over my losses and ask God to heal my wounded soul. Today, in 2026, the healing has brought wisdom. I no longer look for external affirmation to define my worth. I choose to see people for who they truly are, protect my peace, and leave the troubles behind.

If you’re in a season of clutter and despair, take a hard look at what you are holding onto. Are you staying in a place of struggle just to be seen by people who are blind to your worth?

Let them go. Believe their actions. Your future is too bright to clutter with what doesn’t belong to you.

Blessings to you always! ~Annette