Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are tall and the truth is steady! Today is Thursday, May 7th, and my faith is secured in Christ Jesus! Thanks for stopping by my blog as we look at the hands that shaped—and sometimes shook—our foundation.

After reflecting on the “alpha” energy of yesterday’s post, I found myself spiraling into a historian’s curiosity: Who in the world actually raised us? Was it my mother? My father—tried to have a say before my mom shut him down. So was it a village of family members, to our own pity?

The equation of our upbringing was a messy one. My parents were both alphas and both unhealthy, but my father saw something in me early on. He told my mother that I would grow up to “whop” my sisters and that I would be the one to care for her in her old age. That “prophecy” backfired; my mother, fearing my strength, worked early to make me subservient. She tried to “break” my alpha spirit because she couldn’t handle what a man’s pride told her I would become. In doing so, she left me with a natural need for protection—a role that only my brother could fill.

Butch was an alpha who could have gone the distance, but he was raised to self-destruct. Our parents were so focused on being “right” that they failed to see how wrong they both were. Like me, poor Butch slipped through the cracks. When he died at 27, the “biggest loser” in the equation wasn’t my parents—it was me. I lost the best friend I will ever have. I’ve had to learn to live without the other half of my soul, and it has been a long, hard walk. My mother’s attempt to change me only made me realize how much I truly needed my brother to stand in the gap.

The Takeaway for Us

• The Weight of Prophecy: One realizes that the words parents speak over their children can become either a floor or a ceiling. When a child is labeled “the caregiver” or “the fighter” too early, it shifts the entire family dynamic before the child even has a chance to grow.
• The Sibling Half: There is a specific kind of grief that comes from losing a “mirror” sibling—the one who lived the same history and understood the same “cracks.” Living without that other half requires a “Hercules strength” that only God can provide.
• The Cost of Parental Conflict: A family historian sees that when parents compete to be “right,” the children are often the ones who pay the price. The “alpha” spirit isn’t something to be broken; it is a gift to be guided.

Community Challenge

Did a parent ever “label” you as a child in a way that changed how you were treated? How has that label affected your adult relationships? This week, take a moment to ask God to replace those old, human labels with the identity He has for you as His child.

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” — Colossians 3:21 (KJV)
• Prayer: Father, we thank You for being the Parent who never fails us. We lift up the siblings who are walking through life “half-full” because their other half is gone. We ask for healing from the labels put on us in childhood and for the grace to forgive parents who didn’t know how to handle the “alphas” they created. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: You are not a “crack” that someone fell through; you are a cornerstone that God is using to build something new. The world may have tried to break your spirit, but the Creator has preserved your soul. You are whole in Him, even when a piece of your heart is in Heaven. See you tomorrow!