Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are tall and the tomb is empty! Today is Monday, and my faith is secured in Christ Jesus! Thanks for stopping by my blog, where we discuss life, faith, and the long walk toward healing.

In the blurry years of my childhood, there was a strange disparity in the “flock.” My older sisters lived in Louisiana with my grandparents, clothed in the “wonderful Christmases” my mother worked 16-hour days to provide. From their sideline view, they were jealous. They saw me as the “lucky” one because I lived with our mom. But what they lacked was the understanding that I wasn’t being treated as the youngest—I was being treated as the oldest.

I was the one she had to depend on. I was the one who felt the sting of the whippings when the house wasn’t managed “just so.” While my sisters were being raised with the stability of grandparents, I was operating under a survival-mode mentality. My mom didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to be tender; she only had the grit to be a provider.

People often covet the “position” of others without ever weighing the “pressure” of that position. My sisters saw a mother’s home; I saw a 16-hour Gethsemane. I was a “Little Shepherd” forced into a role I wasn’t untrained for, but I had to perform anyway. Today, as a family historian, I realize that jealousy is often born from a lack of information. We can’t judge the “harvest” of someone’s life until we’ve felt the weight of the “iron” they had to carry in the fire.

The Takeaway for Us

• The Illusion of Privilege: One realizes that what looks like “favoritism” from the outside is often “functional necessity” on the inside. Being the “chosen one” to stay behind often means being the one chosen to carry the heaviest load.
• The Jealousy of the Sidelines: Critics and family members often focus on what you have, without ever asking what it cost you to keep it.
• Breaking the survival-mode mentality: Understanding that a parent’s harshness was often a result of their own “limited tools” allows the adult child to stop apologizing for a “privilege” they never actually enjoyed.

Community Challenge

Have you ever been envied for a situation that was actually breaking your back? How do you find the grace to forgive the jealousy of others when they don’t understand the “16-hour grind” you were living through?

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required…” — Luke 12:48 (KJV) (The weight of the requirement often outweighs the joy of the gift).
• Prayer: Father, we thank You for the strength to carry the weights we didn’t ask for. We ask for healing for the “Little Shepherds” who were treated as adults before their time. Silence the voices of jealousy and replace them with the truth of Your grace. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: You are not defined by the years the locusts have eaten, but by the new thing God is doing in your life today. The tomb is empty, and your story is rising. See you Tuesday!