Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado! This week we’ve spent some time talking about hurt, what gets handed down from one generation to another, and what happens when we finally recognize that some of the things we received don’t have to be passed along. I’ve shared pieces of my own journey because I believe sometimes the best way to teach a lesson is to be honest about the road we’ve traveled. I wasn’t a perfect parent. I made mistakes. There were times I wasn’t there for my children the way I should have been. But through counseling, I learned that acknowledging where I fell short didn’t make me a failure. It gave me an opportunity to change. I learned to apologize. I learned to listen. I learned to tell my children how much they meant to me. And I learned that asking my sons for forgiveness didn’t take away my authority as their mother—it showed them that I was willing to take responsibility for my actions.

I’ve also learned that healing doesn’t mean we forget what happened to us. It means we stop allowing what happened to us to determine what happens through us. My past may explain some of my behavior, but it doesn’t have to dictate what I give to the future. Maybe that’s where the real work begins. We can acknowledge the anger without handing it to our children. We can acknowledge the fear without teaching the next generation to live afraid. We can acknowledge the rejection without allowing it to determine how we love. We can acknowledge what we were never taught and then become willing to learn something different. And if someone once handed us a snake because that’s all they had to give, we can make a different choice about what we place in the hands of those coming behind us.

God can take what was meant to continue as a cycle and give us the courage to change its direction.

That’s grace.

That’s growth.

And sometimes, that’s healing.

The Takeaway for Us

1. You are not responsible for what someone handed you, but you are responsible for what you choose to carry forward.

2. Apologizing doesn’t erase the past, but it can open the door to healing.

3. What happened before you does not have to determine what happens after you.

The Call to Action

Before we close this week, take a few quiet minutes with God and ask yourself:

What did I receive that I don’t want to pass on?

Then ask:

What do I want to give the next generation instead?

Maybe you want to give them patience where you received anger.

Love where you experienced rejection.

Communication where there was silence.

Safety where there was fear.

Forgiveness where there was blame.

And perhaps most importantly, the freedom to become who God created them to be.

You may not be able to change your family’s history.

But with God’s help, you can change what your history produces in the future.

Scripture

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (KJV)

“The God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble…”

I love this Scripture because it reminds me that God doesn’t waste our experiences.

The comfort we receive can become comfort we give.

The wisdom we gain can become wisdom we share.

The healing we experience can become a doorway through which someone else finds hope.

A Weekend Prayer

Father, thank You for bringing us through another week. Thank You for giving us the courage to look at the things that have shaped us, even when some of those things are painful.

Help us recognize what we have been carrying that You never intended for us to pass forward. Give us the humility to apologize when we are wrong, the wisdom to listen, and the courage to change.

Heal the places in us that still hurt. Help us forgive where forgiveness is needed, and help us understand that our past does not have to determine our future.

Lord, take what we have experienced and use it for Your purpose. Let the lessons we have learned become wisdom for someone coming behind us.

And when we are tempted to pass along what was handed to us, remind us that we can choose something different.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Until Next Week

This week reminded me of something I don’t want to forget:

Hurt people can hurt people.
But healed people can stop the hurt.
And healed people can help others heal.

Whatever was handed to you, you don’t have to hand it all forward.

Let God help you decide what stays with you and what ends with you.

I’ll see you Monday for another 15 Minutes with God.