Black Women Have It Going On

Good morning from Colorado, where the peaks are tall and the blue skies stretch for miles! Today is May 1st, and my faith is secured in Christ Jesus! Thanks for stopping by my blog as we stand on the threshold of a brand-new month of healing.

By the time you read this, the snow will have melted, and the garden of my life—much like my backyard—will be back to square one. I’m writing this nearly three months ahead of schedule because, as a gardener, I know that overgrowth happens when we neglect the soil. Yesterday, I had a moment that left me feeling low, but I woke up today refreshed and ready to clear out some weeds.

As a family historian, I’ve been documenting the people who shaped my journey. I started with my mother, focusing on her love rather than the struggles. But as I prepared to launch tomorrow’s series for my brother’s 61st birthday, I went looking for a photo and found a “snake” instead. I came across a picture of a childhood friend. Memories of “good times” sparked a desire to reach out, so I tracked her down. She seemed thrilled, we exchanged numbers, and for a moment, I thought the seasons had changed.

I was wrong. Decades ago, when we were both single parents, I gave her money I didn’t have to spare so her daughters could do cheerleading. I “stole” meals from my own children’s table to help hers. She never paid me back; instead, she used that resources to fund a wedding I wasn’t even invited to. Reaching out to her now, I realized she hadn’t changed; she was just a wiser, bigger version of the same snake. As the old saying goes, one should be “neither a borrower nor a lender,” because when you give what you can’t afford to lose to a snake, you shouldn’t be surprised when they strike again. People are in your past for a reason—their season ended, and trying to transplant an old weed into a new garden only leads to getting bit.

The Takeaway for Us

• The Season of the Snake: One realizes that not everyone is meant to travel into your future. Some people are “seasonal” markers of who you used to be, and their refusal to apologize or grow is a signal that their chapter in your book is firmly closed.
• The Cost of “Lending” Beyond Means: There is a heavy price paid when one gives from a place of lack rather than a place of abundance. It creates a “debt of resentment” that can last for decades if not turned over to God.
• Historian’s Discernment: A family historian learns that every photo doesn’t require a reunion. Some images are meant to stay in the archives as a reminder of lessons learned, rather than an invitation to reopen a door that God has already shut.

Community Challenge

Have you ever reached back into your past only to find that the “snake” you left behind has only grown bigger? How do you handle the realization that some people will never offer the apology you deserve? This week, I challenge you to “weed” your contact list—if a connection belongs to a closed season, let it stay there.

Scripture & Prayer

• Scripture: “Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” — Matthew 10:16 (KJV)
• Prayer: Father, we thank You for the discernment to know when a season has ended. We ask for the strength to forgive those who took what we didn’t have to give, and the wisdom to keep our gates closed to known snakes. Thank You for the “square one” moments that allow us to replant our lives with better boundaries. Amen.

The Spiritual Seal

Remember: You are the author of your boundaries, not the victim of your history. If a door was closed for your protection, don’t go looking for the key just because you’re feeling nostalgic. Your garden is growing, and the snakes have no place in the new harvest. See you tomorrow for the start of Butch’s story!