Black Women Have It Going On

“Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.” — Proverbs 26:12

If you spend enough time in your backyard, you eventually learn that not every “expert” over the fence actually knows what they’re talking about. In my garden sanctuary, I’ve encountered a specific kind of neighborly drama: the Conversational Moving Target.

We’ve all met this person. He approaches the fence with “special instructions” on how I should be tending to my plants. He speaks with total authority, offering critiques and advice as if he’s a master horticulturist. But here’s where it gets interesting: the moment I start speaking from my actual experience—the moment I show that I know my soil, my seasons, and my seeds—the target moves.

Suddenly, he isn’t talking about gardening anymore. He’s “remembered” something else he needs to tell me, or he’s pivoted to a completely different topic where he can feel like the teacher again. It’s a dizzying dance of Conversational Dominance.

As I watched this play out, I realized that his “know-it-all” attitude isn’t actually about knowledge; it’s a mask. He needs to feel superior just to feel safe. When he realizes he can’t “out-expert” me in my own backyard, he has to change the game entirely to keep his ego intact.

It’s a fragile way to live, always moving the goalposts so you never have to admit you don’t have the answers. But for those of us on the other side of the fence, the clarity is refreshing. I don’t need his validation for my garden to grow, and I don’t need to chase his moving targets to know the truth.

Connecting the Dots:
When someone constantly shifts the subject the moment they are challenged with facts, they are practicing Ego-Driven Expertise. Their goal isn’t to share information; it’s to maintain an image of authority. Recognizing this pattern helps us stop wasting our breath trying to find common ground with someone who is only interested in higher ground.

The Takeaway:
You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, especially when the rules of the conversation keep changing. Their insecurity is not your responsibility to fix.

Daily Prayer:
Lord, thank You for the wisdom that comes from a humble heart. Grant me the grace to recognize when a conversation is no longer about truth, but about ego, and give me the peace to simply walk away and keep tending to the work You’ve placed in my hands. Amen.