Black Women Have It Going On

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” — 1 Timothy 5:8 (NKJV)

The sky wasn’t the only thing heavy with a storm that afternoon; my spirit was, too.

I was miles away from my own front door, sweat on my forehead, with a hammer and screwdriver nearby. I was busy hanging curtains at my pastor’s house, pouring my time and energy into DIY projects for his wife. On the surface, it looked like “good fruit”—helping leadership, being a servant, being “kind.” But underneath, it was that familiar, frantic “yes” of a chronic people-pleaser.

I had left my children at home. My middle son, not even twelve years old, was the “man of the house” while I was busy building someone else’s kingdom.

Then, the lightning struck.

It wasn’t just a flash in the distance; it was a violent, direct hit to our home. While I was busy being “helpful” elsewhere, my children were navigating a terrifying, shaking house alone. When I finally drove up, the air was thick with the scent of ozone and fear. My children were distraught. The house was silent—every appliance, from the TV to the microwave, was fried. Only the refrigerator and stove remained, standing like cold monuments to my absence.

Guilt didn’t just knock; it took me down.

In the silence of that darkened house, I remembered the words of a worker at the local fabric store. She had seen the lopsided nature of my relationship with this couple long before I did. She had looked at me and warned: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

At the time, I brushed it off as cynicism. But standing in my kitchen, I realized it was a prophecy. My “good intention” to please my pastor’s wife had created an emotional vacuum for my children. I was so busy avoiding the discomfort of saying “no” to an adult that I had ignored my responsibility to be the “secure base” for my kids.

Yesterday, I told you that people will drag you into their selfish world. The pastor’s wife knew I was a single mother. She knew my plate was full. Yet, she continually demanded my time. Because of her position, she didn’t even have to use force. She just had to hold out a “need,” and I—the pleaser—abandoned my own post to fill it.

The lightning didn’t just fry my electronics; it burned away my excuses. Truth matters. Your presence matters. And sometimes, the most “godly” thing you can do is stay home and guard your own.

A Prayer for Priorities

Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for the times I have prioritized the approval of others over the peace and safety of my own home. Thank You for Your protection over my children, even when I wasn’t where I should have been. Help me to hear the warnings You send through others, and give me the courage to say “no” to the demands of the selfish so I can say “yes” to the needs of my family.
Amen.