Day Thirty Seven – Removing Clutter

Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is you unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 36:5-7 NIV

Yesterday, I got a call from a friend. She’s leaving today for her yearly holiday vacation. Each year she and her sister fly home to spend Christmas and New Year’s with their mom. She was calling me to let me know she would be gone. And, each year I let her know how much she means to me. 

She was once my therapist. She and I covered a lot of emotional ground. Addressing issues I tucked away as not important. My issues weren’t important because I’d been taught I wasn’t important. Sadly, during my early years of being a young adult with at least one kid in tow, I didn’t know what love looked like; therefore, I equated love with sex! 

OMG! Life is so funny! I can remember at least two or three sessions where she and I worked, truly worked, on my mindset concerning love and the types of love. But! Love nonetheless! Unfortunately, I would find guys that had more baggage than myself. And! Usually they came into our new relationship abusing me emotionally and physically. Every so often I would get lucky and they would only do one or the other. However! Neither is okay! I stopped dating because I kept finding the same type of guy. But! I never stopped the behavior when it came to interacting with family, friends and loved ones.

Oh! Wow! I just realized why I would date guys that had more baggage than myself [eyeroll]! I wanted to be loved. Now, I just might cry! Cause that makes me sad. How can a person be born into a family and grow up feeling unloved. That’s just sad! Let’s pray!

PRAYER: Father God, someone feels unloved and needs to hear from you. Comfort their tormented souls.  Healing them with healthy examples of your love.  In Jesus name I ask and pray.  Amen

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