Saturdays Funnies: Better Than Saying “I Love You”

Photo taken from:  http://www.elephantjournal.com/
Photo taken from: http://www.elephantjournal.com/

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover.  He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.  He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.  Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean.  So was the rest of the house.  He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table “Honey breakfast is on the stove.  I left early to go shopping.  Love you.”

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.  His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious.  Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

Confused Marty asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”

His son replies, “Oh That!  Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said,” Lady, leave me alone.  I’m married!  ~Author Unknown

 

Taboo Tuesdays: What Insect Describes Your Mood Today?

Praying Mantis

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~HARLAN MILLER

I am not in a happy mood when it comes to my marriage, therefore, I would be a Praying Mantis!  Why would I want to be a Praying Mantis?  Well for starters they are very beneficial to the planet; and another reason is 15% of the time they eat their mates.  Now mind you I’m not into cannibalism but this is a morning when I’m asking myself why am I married.

With that written, I would like to ask you what insect would best describe your mood today?