When Love Transcend Social Boundaries

Artist:  Unknown
Artist: Unknown

Last Sunday I was pressed to write a prayer for my blog  “The Prayers of Black Women.”  I wasn’t sure of my spiritual request to God; but, I felt my prayer should have been about Black women.

[Please don’t stop reading.  God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts, and you will read the transformation soon.]

Any-who-how, I was proud of my “I’m Black and I’m Proud” prayer.  Yet, I desired another persons opinion [preferably a black person].  So, I asked my son to come and proofread the prayer I had written.

Again, please don’t stop reading.  God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts about what it truly means to be a Black woman; and believe me when I write, my transformation is coming soon.  Sooner than I expect!

Insight:

For the past couple of days my soul has been unease about the image I’m projecting as a woman of color.

In my personal life I have an array of friends from all walks of life.

With great remorse, I have notice when I write I come across as a person of color that do not like people from other race groups.  The image I’m projecting is totally the opposite of my character.  Totally!  And if you keep reading you will soon see God is getting ready to transform the way I have been thinking and writing lately.

Dialogue between me and my son:

Me:  Can you please proofread my prayer?

My Son:  Hum.  Hum.  Okay.  (My son does not like to get involved in my writing projects.  So I was shocked when he said he would help me.)

Me:  So what do you think?

My Son:  If I came across your blog I would not read it.

Me:  Why?  [I was shocked at his bluntness.]

My Son:  Because it doesn’t have anything that could help me.

Me:  Of course not!  It’s a blog for Black women!

My Son:  Isn’t this about prayer?

Me:  Yes.  But it is a prayer for Black women.

My Son:  Shouldn’t prayer be for everyone?

Me:  [Speechless.]

Lesson Learned:

As a former seminar student I recently realized several pitfalls of racism.

In 1 Corinthians 15:31, Paul writes, “For I swear, dear brothers and sisters, that I face death daily. This is as certain as my pride in what Christ Jesus our Lord has done in you.”

Though I am on a spiritual sabbatical, I am an ambassador for Christ; therefore, my color, race, culture, and personal beliefs outside of Christianity should die daily.  But as it was, after finding myself upset with narrow-minded people I began a blog for Black women despite the need to encourage everyone.

Please understand, I am not a racist, my heart grieves for my race.  With such sorrow I find myself disappointed with a group of people who keep allowing themselves to fall prey to the cruelties of society.  My mind can’t grasp why these beautiful men and women continue to be mentally and emotionally castrated.   It is painful to belong to a race and sit idle as it implode.  Hosea 4:6 says, “My people perish for the lack of knowledge.

And because I don’t want my people to perish, sadly, my gender and my race became my cause to write.  When in my case it should have been man’s inhumanity to man who made me want to make a difference by putting into action “the pen is mightier than the sword.”  Because at the end of the day when all has been said and done we are still humans in need of love despite, race, color, culture, personal beliefs, personal choices, professional choices, religious choices, age and gender.

Until humankind understand that life without love and acceptance is all for not.  We will continue to overlook the most important thing to remember about living:  and that is when love transcend social boundaries it makes people do the right thing.  In 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 Paul writes the below about love:

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Black Women Do Contribute to The Rainbow of Love

Photo Taken From:  www.tumblr.com
Photo Taken From: http://www.tumblr.com

About a week ago on a Facebook page I follow titled “White Men Who Love Their Black Women” the administrator posted the following:

I over heard a conversation among several White women today and they were talking about a couple of girls that didn’t seem threatening to them when it came to getting men or their boyfriends. Within the conversation they mentioned some things that they knew these girls possessed that made them seemingly, “less attractive”. The 1st notable remark that was made was the fact that one of the girls was heavy set—that almost automatically took her out of the game (according to these women). The 2nd comment was that another one of the girls was “universally unattractive” (according to them NO ONE would ever deem her pretty under anyone’s microscope). But the grand finale of a statement that was made that the last girl was Black—yes BLACK—that was why she didn’t pose a threat . These White women seemed to think that their White skin ordained them to be a peck above Black women getting White men just because they were White. My thing is this: I’m good as any girl of any color and I’ll be damned to think that a girl just being White and me being Black would take me away from even being considered an option of a White guy or for that, White men! Questions? Comments?

Due to time restraints I could not make a comment.  So today I sit and write my feelings about the brutal honesty of those that publicly spoke on less threatening women when it comes to them dating and them maintaining marital security.

Love comes in multiple colors with surmountable reasons for loving.  Only shallow people with low self-esteem will build outwardly with bitter words for mortar a false wall of security.  The women gathered at this loathing banquet walked away more empty before they sat to fellowship.  It is clear to see these women are not busy living productive lives.  Surely what they say or think about women they consider less than is irrelevant to the cause of women of color progressing in life, personally and professionally.

Let’s speak truth:  It is not women of color that seek tanning salons to darken their skin.  Our skin tone is a birthright given to all colored women by God genetically.   Subjectively, if I had problems with people of African descent I would never tan.  The process of tanning would be in such a situation as hypocritical.  Because to me non-colored people who have problems with Black people due to darker skin pigmentation are jealous, simple-minded, human beings that should have their mouths tape shut.  I am only speaking about non-colored people who dislike for the sake of disliking and using color as a scapegoat.  IT IS NOT LOGICAL TO TAN WHEN YOU DESPISE OTHER PEOPLE FOR NATURALLY HAVING WHAT YOU PAY TO ACQUIRE!  Such actions provoke the question why are you making your skin the color of those you hate for having it!  

As far as I am concern, I feel all people are beautiful . . .

And Black women do give to the rainbow of love.  The only difference between Blacks and non-colored people are skin pigmentation’s.  Outside of that!  Nothing else is different when it comes to being human.

Sad to write, but unfortunately the White woman who made the harsh comment about Black women was correct based upon social stereotype.  Therefore, at this point what is relevant and not irrelevant is how long it will take Black women to realize we must shift the way people think of us.  We must show others as single people and as a group that we are worth dating and marrying (outside of our brown skin tones).

Women of color we need to change the dating and marring game to our home courts!  We need to learn positive ways to effectively market us as people and a gender race group.  We need to help other Black women that slipped through the cracks of life.  We need to create dating and marring game plans that potential mates can understand; and in doing so we will inspire all men from all walks of life to crossover and play on our team as boyfriends and husbands.  In addition, we need to first seek to understand so we will be understood.

I can only end that dating and marrying should be a personal choice.  How a person arrives to dating this person or that person, and, or, marrying this person or that person again is a personal choice.

In my journey I have learned to cross over and date men from other races.  To me the equipment all works the same despite hearsay!  Laughter!

Have a great day!  And remember Black women really do have it going on!

 

The Black Man’s Country Club

Michael getting ready for his senior photo's.
My son Michael getting a haircut for his senior photo’s.

Initially I was not sure how to speak on The Black Man’s Country Club.  But you can find them in every city, every town, and every state on any corner and probably every country, I’m sure.  For those of you that did not know your local Black barber shop is considered “The Black Man’s Country Club” well . . .  now you know.

It is a place where Black men gather to receive professional haircuts and discuss current and past events.  I tell ya!  I love being among these Black men and talking stuff from a Black woman’s point of view [chuckle].  However, you must earn the right to speak among your captive audience.   So enter if you dare to venture women of color in “The Black Man’s Country Club” but do not look for a date.  Your presence in the establishment should be a desire to fellowship with men you have something in common.  Being Black in America!  And I can guarantee you; you will have the time of your life.

I’m being honest and real when I write, “do not look for a date.”  Again, these men are there to get haircuts and discuss sports, local, national and global issue from a Black man’s point of view.  Every now and then, if they have cultivated a friend relationship with a woman or women, they will discuss man/woman interactions; but they really do stick to discussing current and past events. Remember, they are not looking to be pick-up, hit-on and carried out like a sack of potatoes by desperate women.

And if you are going to stop by “The Black Man’s Country Club” take a young Black male with you.  There is always a little boy in need of a haircut, perhaps it is your son, your nephew, your cousin, an extended family member, a church member or a neighborhood kid.  It doesn’t matter who the kid is.  It doesn’t matter if his parents are misusing monies they should spend on him getting a haircut.  The importance is you making a difference in this young Black life.

It is nice when you watch the camaraderie among Black positive men; it is even nicer when they extend the right hand of fellowship to young Black men; so taking a young Black boy to a place where there are influential men of color is a good thing.  And the deed done could be the act that changes a child’s life for the rest of his life because after all we were created to make a difference.

Remember:  Black women have it going on!

 

One of The Reasons I Love Living

IMG_9165

Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with everything they got” ~ Author Unknown

I don’t normally post photos of my loved ones.  I usually keep them private for safety reasons.  But, since, I am blogging about being a proud woman of color I thought it would be great if I allow others to see my IMG_7069IMG_7031 - Copygrand-daughter that I am so deliciously proud of.  She is one of the reasons why I love living!  And why I love being a Black woman!  She represents everything I once was and everything I had hope to aspire.  The failures of those that had the power to help create in me the things I desired as a human has encouraged me to be a better grand-parent and mentor.  I am her inspiration!  And she is mine!

She believes in me.  She encourages me when I feel less than.  And most of all she loves me unconditionally.

The above two photos are of her now.  The below two photos is when she first came to live with us.  She was hurt.  Angry at me and wanted to return home.  But we made it through.  She is a bundle of love and joy.  She is ever amazed at my abilities and always gives thumbs up when she thinks I have done something over the top.    You should hear our conversations.  Our relationship is love in action.  And she will be dearly missed when she returns to her mom.  Daily I give her instructions of acquiring a successful life.  I tell her don’t stop till you get there and don’t depend on a man or others to give you nothing but love.  And if those in your life can’t love you . . . keep stepping and love yourself.

Don’t Be Upset with Black Men That Are Delusional

It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you.        1 Peter 2:15

Last week I opened a post listed on my Facebook feed.  Since the title was intriguing I got hooked.  I wanted to hear the message to Black men.  I thought from the title it would be inspirational, character building and race supportive.  It was nowhere near positive male and race affirmation.  The message was a tongue lashing from a man who has pent-up aggression over his childhood and Black women were the cause of his misery.  Laughter!  Oh my! was my first response.  I could not believe he was ignorantly babblative and proud of it.  Wait, get this, worse yet, I can’t believe I watch the YouTube video and afterwards watched another of his demeaning video’s about Black women.  I don’t know if I was in shock, horribly amazed or rightly shamed as a woman of color.  Below are some points he tried to make about Black women in American:

  1. Black women do not use correct grammar
  2. Black women are not good candidates for dating, marriage and motherhood
  3. Black women are so destructive

Laughter!  Really!  Now!  The above bullet points are just a few he mentioned.  Am I wordless at this point?  Yes and no.   Mainly because I have never heard a man of color speaks so badly and boldly about women of color privately or publicly.  However in later blog posts I will discuss his points [stressing points] of views about Black women.  I’m not upset at the young Black man.  It is clear to see he is confused about the “facts of life.”  Frederick Douglas once said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

He is a person with a lot of pain.  His video messages displayed and display a broken man.  He kept talking about his mother and her inability to affirm him as a person and as her child.  He also spoke about how his mother said he was like or looked like his “ugly ass daddy.”  Yes, he went there.  Laughter.  He even went on to discuss how Black girls told him that he was too black to date.  Really.  Are you serious [chuckle].  I could not believe he went there . . . but he did!  He really needs a reality check, because countless pre-teens, teens, young adults and adults alike experience relationship rejection by the opposite sex from their race.  But they don’t go postal and begin video blogs about the negative side of possible counterparts.  Honestly healthy people say “better luck next time” when they don’t score with the opposite sex or same-sex.  So, again, really!  He truly needs to grow up.  To me his childhood disappointments have become delusional pain that hinders him from accepting the “facts of life” and preventing him from becoming a man.  People like him scare me.

No self-respecting man or Black man would publicly or privately bash possible counterpart of his race or any other race for that matter and feel proud.  So like I said this young Black man is very confused and he needs to accept the “facts of life.”  What are the “facts of life?”  Well in his case I have listed a few below:

  • Every child wants the perfect family; meaning mommy and daddy living in the same house in marrital bliss. (And when I write every child I include all generations.)
  • Every child would like to have a cookie cutter mom, where she’s never raised her voice, she never gets angry; she allows you to jump on furniture blind folded and later kisses your boo-boo because you fell off your make-pretend mountain.
  • Every child would like to have a father with a strong protective and providing image where you know as long as dad is around you will be safe and you will have a roof over your head and a Harvest of Plenty.
  • Every child would love to have wise parents to guide them along life journeys.
  • Everyone wants acceptance from the opposite sex or same-sex in a naïve way.
  • No child born grows up wanting to parent poorly, but life circumstances change perceptions and reactions to life choices.

Only a fool will bask in their foolishness when diminishing the image of another human.  I found this young man’s words poison to the soul.  I don’t want his poison to spread and kill the hope and dreams of Black intimacy, because we were born to procreate within our race.  Now. Now.  I’m not saying intimacy can’t cross color lines, I’m just saying his words were racial genocide; and he is too foolish to realize it.  Furthermore, after he spoke poorly of his mother, it confirmed he has a problem with being a Black man.  As he strongly bashed and blamed Black women for this or that I’m afraid his weak-minded followers failed to hear the undercurrents of race hate.  Simply putting it, he don’t like himself as a Black man; therefore, he doesn’t want other Black men that are searching for purpose to like themselves either.

Like I expressed he babbled too much thus losing his argumentative points and the focal attention of his audience.  Well he lost the attention of those that are wise enough to see he exploits his race for notoriety and possible YouTube fame.  For a wise Native American named Iroquois Maxim once said, “In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations.”

As I pointed out earlier I have privately and publicly heard Black men speak ill of Black women but never to this degree.  So as an American Black woman I am taking a stance.  I won’t give his YouTube video any traffic.  I won’t go on his turf and bash him as he has verbosely bashed American Black Women.  But I will discuss his self-hatred viewpoints with sound arguments.  Until next time, stay encouraged while remembering Black women have it going on despite Black men that are delusional.

Every great dream…

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. -Harriet Tubman

As a woman of color I have grown into my ethnicity.  Currently as I research a life crisis I have stumbled across many online articles on Black women, their value to society globally and their place within the human race.  Appalled.  To say the lease.

Normally I blog under another name.  However, the issue [well to me it is an issue] at hand about the worth of Black women has forced me to creatively write for and about women of color and blog in my name.  And who better than . . . Since I am very connected to my blackness that loves being a woman of color!