I am not going to be licked by tragedy, as life is a challenge, and we must carry on and work for the living as well as mourn for the dead.
Death couldn’t get any closer. The number of days were tallied for my beloved mom. She was 85 years old. I don’t know if my wish was selfish or not but, I her daughter wanted her to live beyond that number. If the Universe could have only given me one more year with her. But! Then I would want her to have another year after that. So, there was no winning with me for the Universe when it came to my mom dying. Because! I didn’t want her to die!
Love is a wonderful thing. And being my mom’s chosen and now court appointed personal representative robbed me of the rights to grieve her loss. Her death entered me into a battle when my thoughts were cloudy with grief.
People, oh the many of them, had planned my demise long before the “ole’ girl died.” And! After she died . . . They were hitting me from every imaginable and unimaginable angle! And should you become a personal representative the same could be awaiting for you! Especially if heirs are delusional to what they feel entitled. Therefore, don’t do crazy today. Do you!
Take a deep awaited sigh. Not a breath but a sigh. Put a photo of your loved one on your working station. Remember you were chosen because the deceased knew you could and would represent them well. Stand tall! And plant your thoughts in knowing everything you need is within you. And should you find yourself coming up short give the issues to your attorney.
Yesterday, I was very upset. It seems the lies my family have shared with those that would listen were believed. And what came to mind during this brief moment was something I was once told. “Everyone deserves their good name.” That statement holds true for the person that ruined yours. Yet, the part of you that protects and loves you wants to seek revenge despite the truth.
In Humility Matters the author writes:
“An angry reaction is to use words that harm another. Calumny is to speak about another and harm his or her good name. It might be a truthful fact but not necessary for me to promulgate. Slander is to actually speak and promote lies about another and testify false things about another as if they were true. Everyone deserves a good name, and for us to devalue another has an irrevocable and damaging effect on that person’s social well-being. Calumny and slander, however, most harm me because I falsely put myself above the other either in judgment or in vanity. My own being is tarnished. If I do this, I am not to be trusted. If I am not trustworthy, I forfeit the honor of bearing witness.”
And tho my name has been ruined I must find ways to bury old feelings. I must figure out another way to detach from those that ruined my name in the first place. I must finish the task that opened this door of reality of the affects of people ruining my good name; so, I can continue of the path of living a joy filled life.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. ~Matthew 19:6
Whisper your heavenly love to the wounded soul oh Lord. Heal broken hearts with your divine touch.
For again someone feels they have fallen short of your glory by not guarding their heart. Lord replace their sorrow with joy. Because in all sincerity they thought they were doing what you expected of them as spouses; and as a result of truly trusting their loved ones their hearts were broken by infidelity.
Their spouses silence, without complaint, lead them to believe all was well with the their lives as a couple and as a family. But as infidelity deeds are and were being uncovered the illusion of perfect relationships and family units are being destroyed.
Lord, please help the victims of infidelity in this delicate moment; as you spiritually work on their companions moral values by cutting away relationship deceptions and replacing spiritual corruption with Fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Strengthen these victims Lord with your words, presence and unconditional love. Give them the ability to forgive quickly. As you sustain their marriage with the bonds of holy commitment. So that both will continue nurturing a lasting matrimony. Lord quiet inner turmoil of shame, anger, deception, hopelessness, selfishness, disappointment, lack of trust, and the feelings of loss by replacing each emotion with love and understanding. Amen