Yesterday, I was very upset. It seems the lies my family have shared with those that would listen were believed. And what came to mind during this brief moment was something I was once told. “Everyone deserves their good name.” That statement holds true for the person that ruined yours. Yet, the part of you that protects and loves you wants to seek revenge despite the truth.
In Humility Matters the author writes:
“An angry reaction is to use words that harm another. Calumny is to speak about another and harm his or her good name. It might be a truthful fact but not necessary for me to promulgate. Slander is to actually speak and promote lies about another and testify false things about another as if they were true. Everyone deserves a good name, and for us to devalue another has an irrevocable and damaging effect on that person’s social well-being. Calumny and slander, however, most harm me because I falsely put myself above the other either in judgment or in vanity. My own being is tarnished. If I do this, I am not to be trusted. If I am not trustworthy, I forfeit the honor of bearing witness.”
And tho my name has been ruined I must find ways to bury old feelings. I must figure out another way to detach from those that ruined my name in the first place. I must finish the task that opened this door of reality of the affects of people ruining my good name; so, I can continue of the path of living a joy filled life.
Several months ago I discovered I had been extremely sad over missed opportunities. Sadness had been with me so long that the emotion masked itself as incurable depression. So, today I’m launching a mini-campaign in finding articles and videos that inspires me.
As I work on transforming how I view life failures I’m inviting you to join me on my journey. I’m hoping to remove my defeated soul from the seat of fear and stretch my spiritual legs to walk, run or jog to reach my dreams.
A young woman told her mother about her life and how things were so hard. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She then pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?”
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, Mother?”
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity — boiling water — but each reacted differently. The carrot went in
strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor of your life. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you changed by your surroundings or do you bring life, flavor, to them?