Everything Else Is An Inconvenience

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem.  Everything else is inconvenience.  ~Robert Fulghum

multiethnic couple talking
Photo by Jack Sparrow on Pexels.com

Yes, this is another unpublished post from 2013.  I read as if I wasn’t the author.  I was surprised about the content.  I had forgotten those feelings concerning my husbands infidelity.  He apologized.  I apologized.  We’re back on track building our life as a couple.     

Yesterday I was speaking to a loved one.  They shared some of their heartaches, disappoints, and the frustration as to how to continue on striving for financial freedoms.  Little did they know I am drowning in life’s problems but I took a moment to pray for them; afterwards, I prayed for them throughout my day.  I asked the Lord to grant peace in their life.  I prayed their mate would appreciate the little things they were doing.  I requested that their child would say I love you just because.  I guess most of all I prayed that the person in sorrow knew someone cared.

Life is funny!  Not a “HeHe HaHa” funny.  But a funny where when you feel everything is going okay then something happens to push you back into a crises.  Or it may seem like you are being pushed into a crises.

My marriage appears to be over.  My friends are giving their advice as to how I should stay in it by saying such as, I should have an affair or affairs with men 20 plus years younger [yikes!] or call it quits.  I know I should not laugh but I am laughing as I write about the end of my once wonderful marriage.  I don’t think we planned, no, I know we didn’t plan to find our marriage in disrepair but it is.  He avoids me.  I feel his avoidance is a way of hoping I will return to the state of catering to his every need (spoken and unspoken).  But I don’t see a way out or even a way to repair our marriage if he is not willing to change.

No I’m not a woman that has made a man feel less than a man.  I have loved my husband with all of my innermost being because he loved me first.  He saw me as a beauty when others had given me up for lost.  As stated, I loved him because he did love me.  He says he doesn’t want a divorce but he doesn’t work at making our “hanging-on by a thread” marriage whole again.

I know I should not discuss my marital problems with friends, family and loved ones, but I have such wonderful people in my life.  I value their opinion.  It doesn’t mean that I will always take their advice but I do respect their suggestions; even the ones that will make me seem and feel like a heel the next morning.  Laughter!  I’m not sure about having an affair but I have entertained the thought.  I have never been unfaithful to any mate and I’m not sure if I could start now, but I tell you I have had some great fantasies that consisted of good looking men. Yeah, baby!  Thank God I have not allow my inward hurts to manifest because I would have given my poor hubby the boot!  Laughter!

And when I speak to male friends about the problems my husband and I are facing I’m told I spoiled him.  Spoiled him!  Unheard of!  At least that is what I thought.  But as I find the energy to live today I am seeing my mistakes as my husband’s friend, lover and wife.  I’m not sure if I want to save this marriage because he is putting up a fight for things to remain the same; but things can’t remain the same because I have changed.  I’m stronger.  I’m wiser and I am self loved.  I’m afraid my husband will wake up and find himself alone again.  He is a nice guy but his unharnessed faults are eroding our relationship.

The Prayer’s of Black Women: Overcoming Infidelity

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. ~Matthew 19:6

Artist:  Henry Lee Battle
Artist: Henry Lee Battle

Whisper your heavenly love to the wounded soul oh Lord.  Heal broken hearts with your divine touch.

For again someone feels they have fallen short of your glory by not guarding their heart.  Lord replace their sorrow with joy.  Because in all sincerity they thought they were doing what you expected of them as spouses; and as a result of truly trusting their loved ones their hearts were broken by infidelity.

Their spouses silence, without complaint, lead them to believe all was well with the their lives as a couple and as a family.  But as infidelity deeds are and were being uncovered the illusion of perfect relationships and family units are being destroyed.

Lord, please help the victims of infidelity in this delicate moment; as you spiritually work on their companions moral values by cutting away relationship deceptions and replacing spiritual corruption with Fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Strengthen these victims Lord with your words, presence and unconditional love.  Give them the ability to forgive quickly.  As you sustain their marriage with the bonds of holy commitment.  So that both will continue nurturing a lasting matrimony.  Lord quiet inner turmoil of shame, anger, deception, hopelessness, selfishness, disappointment, lack of trust, and the feelings of loss by replacing each emotion with love and understanding.  Amen

Your Loving Daughter ~Annette