It’s not a secret among my family and friends that I am a black Republican. Most black people who are Democrats ask me, “What the hell are you thinking?” And as usual I respond with laughter as they stand there ready to aggressively argue politically. Sadly they forget I have the same freedoms as they to choose whatever. However, this morning a friend sent me this video via email. I thought it was priceless and filled with humor. And I enjoyed the video for so many reasons. My only hope in sharing this video is that others will see the humor in political nitpicking. Have a great rest of the weekend everyone! –Annette
Several weeks ago someone posted a mock question about a woman dating a man in prison. I and many others responded. In addition, I also blogged about the question. I noticed my answer and a few others were passed over and did not receive any thumbs up! But the below answers received at least 2 or more likes:
If he’s going to be out soon, I would continue to befriend him but make no commitments until he comes out and lives the new life he is claiming. I’m sure you’ve been told this but it’s easier to submit and do the right thing when you have no other choice and the temptation is not there. The real test will be when he gets out. Take your time and date him when he comes home act like you are meeting the new him for the 1st time and get to know the new him.
First of all, you really dont know anymore than what he is telling you. Now there is a thing called jailhouse religion, so be very careful. As for as the diploma goes, that aint nothing new either. Just take your time and as Chase stated, give him 6-12 month on the outside. Love is funny but the hurt that came come with it, well baby that aint no JOKE!!!
Girlfriend being locked up or having your freedom taken away is a humbling experience for anyone. Unfortunately some people only turn to the bible when they get into situations beyond their control. But regardless of when he turned as long as he acknowledges the word of God and establishes a spiritual relationship for himself, God can give him the peace wisdom and understanding to seek his will and way for his life. No one better in this world than you can answer this question, if you are making the right decision? It’s your choice. If you are willing to settle with someone who has obviously done some things to afford his freedom to be taken away, and you feel, he will no longer, once he gets his freedom again, do those things, and you care enough to believe in his ability to change and do right by you and the law, do what makes you happy, but don’t be naïve in your decision, weigh your pro’s and con’s, and be sure that is what you want, it’s your life and you will have to live with your decision. Take care, Be Blessed!
And this one really took the cake.
Yeah just pray
But the one from a man was not surprising!
Sister. NOTHING redeems a brother getting out of “lock” like a woman that’s stod by him,and encouraged him to be a better person. That’s one of a billion reasons we love yall! However,give him some time to walk the walk that he,s talking. If he shows signs of reverting back to “old behaviors”,admonish him with the word of God first..and then your personal feelings. If he doesn’t show signs of positive,continued growth,you may have to step back abit..give him something to aspire to. Good luck,and God bless you both! P.S. I once was..but now am..a new creature in Christ! (from prison to Praise!)
Each reply is confirmation to a single and lonely Black woman that it is okay to date any-old-thang! I just gotta ask. Black women what are you thinking? Really! It appears no one thought to ask “What is wrong with this picture.” The projected imagery the question posed for a Black woman dating an inmate was a slap in the face.
In college we did many mock questions. Several of them were intense. One of them involved a husband/expected father that had several burdens when it came to deciding the fate of his dying wife and his unborn child. But the question submitted on my Facebook page for Black women was insulting because of the low expectations for women of color.
From each response it was clear to see no one thought to ask the “Five W’s.” Who, what, when, where, and why. However, in everyone’s defense we knew who, we knew when, and we even knew where. But again no one stopped to ask ‘what is wrong with this picture’ and why would a woman date someone in jail?
I’m sure my questions come across as having the “better than” attitude, but I’m not. I have learned over the years to reach for the stars; and that includes the men I choose to share my life with. Therefore, I began my response with, “Why is this woman dating a man behind bars?” Because as I see things, I’m sorry but a man incarcerated is not a good dating choice. As a woman that promotes advancement for color women I would have never posed such a question for Black women to entertain.
Black women in order for our men to advance with us we must raise the bar. Until the bar of expectation is raised our Black men will continue to fail in education, fail to gain employment, fail in dating, fail in marriage, fail in spiritual wholeness, fail in parenthood, and fail as being mentors for men that have lost their way in life. Other words, if they go to jail for bad behaviors don’t reward them by dating them in jail. And for goodness sake refrain from corresponding with them they have family.
Let me be the first to admit, I think it is sad that many Black men are living their life behind bars. I think it is even sadder when Black women are comfortable with entertaining the idea of dating incarcerated men.
Personally, I would rather cross the color line and date a successful man from another race than settle for someone that undoubtedly have social issues.
About a week ago on a Facebook page I follow titled “White Men Who Love Their Black Women” the administrator posted the following:
I over heard a conversation among several White women today and they were talking about a couple of girls that didn’t seem threatening to them when it came to getting men or their boyfriends. Within the conversation they mentioned some things that they knew these girls possessed that made them seemingly, “less attractive”. The 1st notable remark that was made was the fact that one of the girls was heavy set—that almost automatically took her out of the game (according to these women). The 2nd comment was that another one of the girls was “universally unattractive” (according to them NO ONE would ever deem her pretty under anyone’s microscope). But the grand finale of a statement that was made that the last girl was Black—yes BLACK—that was why she didn’t pose a threat . These White women seemed to think that their White skin ordained them to be a peck above Black women getting White men just because they were White. My thing is this: I’m good as any girl of any color and I’ll be damned to think that a girl just being White and me being Black would take me away from even being considered an option of a White guy or for that, White men! Questions? Comments?
Due to time restraints I could not make a comment. So today I sit and write my feelings about the brutal honesty of those that publicly spoke on less threatening women when it comes to them dating and them maintaining marital security.
Love comes in multiple colors with surmountable reasons for loving. Only shallow people with low self-esteem will build outwardly with bitter words for mortar a false wall of security. The women gathered at this loathing banquet walked away more empty before they sat to fellowship. It is clear to see these women are not busy living productive lives. Surely what they say or think about women they consider less than is irrelevant to the cause of women of color progressing in life, personally and professionally.
Let’s speak truth: It is not women of color that seek tanning salons to darken their skin. Our skin tone is a birthright given to all colored women by God genetically. Subjectively, if I had problems with people of African descent I would never tan. The process of tanning would be in such a situation as hypocritical. Because to me non-colored people who have problems with Black people due to darker skin pigmentation are jealous, simple-minded, human beings that should have their mouths tape shut. I am only speaking about non-colored people who dislike for the sake of disliking and using color as a scapegoat. IT IS NOT LOGICAL TO TAN WHEN YOU DESPISE OTHER PEOPLE FOR NATURALLY HAVING WHAT YOU PAY TO ACQUIRE! Suchactions provoke the question why are you making your skin the color of those you hate for having it!
As far as I am concern, I feel all people are beautiful . . .
And Black women do give to the rainbow of love. The only difference between Blacks and non-colored people are skin pigmentation’s. Outside of that! Nothing else is different when it comes to being human.
Sad to write, but unfortunately the White woman who made the harsh comment about Black women was correct based upon social stereotype. Therefore, at this point what is relevant and not irrelevant is how long it will take Black women to realize we must shift the way people think of us. We must show others as single people and as a group that we are worth dating and marrying (outside of our brown skin tones).
Women of color we need to change the dating and marring game to our home courts! We need to learn positive ways to effectively market us as people and a gender race group. We need to help other Black women that slipped through the cracks of life. We need to create dating and marring game plans that potential mates can understand; and in doing so we will inspire all men from all walks of life to crossover and play on our team as boyfriends and husbands. In addition, we need to first seek to understand so we will be understood.
I can only end that dating and marrying should be a personal choice. How a person arrives to dating this person or that person, and, or, marrying this person or that person again is a personal choice.
In my journey I have learned to cross over and date men from other races. To me the equipment all works the same despite hearsay! Laughter!
Have a great day! And remember Black women really do have it going on!
Initially I was not sure how to speak on The Black Man’s Country Club. But you can find them in every city, every town, and every state on any corner and probably every country, I’m sure. For those of you that did not know your local Black barber shop is considered “The Black Man’s Country Club” well . . . now you know.
It is a place where Black men gather to receive professional haircuts and discuss current and past events. I tell ya! I love being among these Black men and talking stuff from a Black woman’s point of view [chuckle]. However, you must earn the right to speak among your captive audience. So enter if you dare to venture women of color in “The Black Man’s Country Club” but do not look for a date. Your presence in the establishment should be a desire to fellowship with men you have something in common. Being Black in America! And I can guarantee you; you will have the time of your life.
I’m being honest and real when I write, “do not look for a date.” Again, these men are there to get haircuts and discuss sports, local, national and global issue from a Black man’s point of view. Every now and then, if they have cultivated a friend relationship with a woman or women, they will discuss man/woman interactions; but they really do stick to discussing current and past events. Remember, they are not looking to be pick-up, hit-on and carried out like a sack of potatoes by desperate women.
And if you are going to stop by “The Black Man’s Country Club” take a young Black male with you. There is always a little boy in need of a haircut, perhaps it is your son, your nephew, your cousin, an extended family member, a church member or a neighborhood kid. It doesn’t matter who the kid is. It doesn’t matter if his parents are misusing monies they should spend on him getting a haircut. The importance is you making a difference in this young Black life.
It is nice when you watch the camaraderie among Black positive men; it is even nicer when they extend the right hand of fellowship to young Black men; so taking a young Black boy to a place where there are influential men of color is a good thing. And the deed done could be the act that changes a child’s life for the rest of his life because after all we were created to make a difference.
It is God’s will that your honorable lives should silence those ignorant people who make foolish accusations against you. 1 Peter 2:15
Last week I opened a post listed on my Facebook feed. Since the title was intriguing I got hooked. I wanted to hear the message to Black men. I thought from the title it would be inspirational, character building and race supportive. It was nowhere near positive male and race affirmation. The message was a tongue lashing from a man who has pent-up aggression over his childhood and Black women were the cause of his misery. Laughter! Oh my! was my first response. I could not believe he was ignorantly babblative and proud of it. Wait, get this, worse yet, I can’t believe I watch the YouTube video and afterwards watched another of his demeaning video’s about Black women. I don’t know if I was in shock, horribly amazed or rightly shamed as a woman of color. Below are some points he tried to make about Black women in American:
Black women do not use correct grammar
Black women are not good candidates for dating, marriage and motherhood
Black women are so destructive
Laughter! Really! Now! The above bullet points are just a few he mentioned. Am I wordless at this point? Yes and no. Mainly because I have never heard a man of color speaks so badly and boldly about women of color privately or publicly. However in later blog posts I will discuss his points [stressing points] of views about Black women. I’m not upset at the young Black man. It is clear to see he is confused about the “facts of life.” Frederick Douglas once said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
He is a person with a lot of pain. His video messages displayed and display a broken man. He kept talking about his mother and her inability to affirm him as a person and as her child. He also spoke about how his mother said he was like or looked like his “ugly ass daddy.” Yes, he went there. Laughter. He even went on to discuss how Black girls told him that he was too black to date. Really. Are you serious [chuckle]. I could not believe he went there . . . but he did! He really needs a reality check, because countless pre-teens, teens, young adults and adults alike experience relationship rejection by the opposite sex from their race. But they don’t go postal and begin video blogs about the negative side of possible counterparts. Honestly healthy people say “better luck next time” when they don’t score with the opposite sex or same-sex. So, again, really! He truly needs to grow up. To me his childhood disappointments have become delusional pain that hinders him from accepting the “facts of life” and preventing him from becoming a man. People like him scare me.
No self-respecting man or Black man would publicly or privately bash possible counterpart of his race or any other race for that matter and feel proud. So like I said this young Black man is very confused and he needs to accept the “facts of life.” What are the “facts of life?” Well in his case I have listed a few below:
Every child wants the perfect family; meaning mommy and daddy living in the same house in marrital bliss. (And when I write every child I include all generations.)
Every child would like to have a cookie cutter mom, where she’s never raised her voice, she never gets angry; she allows you to jump on furniture blind folded and later kisses your boo-boo because you fell off your make-pretend mountain.
Every child would like to have a father with a strong protective and providing image where you know as long as dad is around you will be safe and you will have a roof over your head and a Harvest of Plenty.
Every child would love to have wise parents to guide them along life journeys.
Everyone wants acceptance from the opposite sex or same-sex in a naïve way.
No child born grows up wanting to parent poorly, but life circumstances change perceptions and reactions to life choices.
Only a fool will bask in their foolishness when diminishing the image of another human. I found this young man’s words poison to the soul. I don’t want his poison to spread and kill the hope and dreams of Black intimacy, because we were born to procreate within our race. Now. Now. I’m not saying intimacy can’t cross color lines, I’m just saying his words were racial genocide; and he is too foolish to realize it. Furthermore, after he spoke poorly of his mother, it confirmed he has a problem with being a Black man. As he strongly bashed and blamed Black women for this or that I’m afraid his weak-minded followers failed to hear the undercurrents of race hate. Simply putting it, he don’t like himself as a Black man; therefore, he doesn’t want other Black men that are searching for purpose to like themselves either.
As I pointed out earlier I have privately and publicly heard Black men speak ill of Black women but never to this degree. So as an American Black woman I am taking a stance. I won’t give his YouTube video any traffic. I won’t go on his turf and bash him as he has verbosely bashed American Black Women. But I will discuss his self-hatred viewpoints with sound arguments. Until next time, stay encouraged while remembering Black women have it going on despite Black men that are delusional.