Granny’s Wisdom: Do Not Wear Out Your Welcome

This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.
This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.

I wonder how many people have heard the phrase “do not wear out your welcome.”  Hum . . . I first heard the expression from my grandmother when I was young.

Back when I was once a kid, and a know-it-all, it seemed my late maternal grandmother would always say those words to my cousins, my siblings and me.  I’m not sure how my family members took her wisdom; but back when I was a child I thought my grandmother was old, uncaring, uneducated, mean-spirited, and truly out of touch with the mental and emotional needs of the young.  [chuckle]

I can remember as if it was yesterday sassing her for this or that.  But nothing stands out more than the time she would not let me go over to my cousin’s house as often as I wanted.   And, sadly, it was late into my adult years before I understood the meaning ‘do not wear out your welcome.’

As I’m looking back on things and reflecting upon how I dismissed her words of caution, I now understand why my life was filled with heartaches.

I hate to admit to myself but I deserved all the bumps I got from being hardheaded; and my self enlightenment really makes me feel foolish about things I had blame on others.

Well, any-who-how . . . It was by divine revelation I found the phrase in the Bible one day.  I was shocked!  It was amazing to read that God gives his children the same warning!

Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you. Proverbs 25:17

The message I get from this passage is:  don’t be so darn clingy!  Get a life!  Explore parts of your life without others.  Enjoy family when can.  And remember a bit of you goes a long ways.

I’m coming to terms with my granny’s wisdom.  My grandmother has passed but her words live on.  And each day that I live I think about her abrasive and unharness wisdom.  I’m learning she was indeed the smartest woman I will ever know and most of all she loved me.

Old School Wisdom: A Lady Never Kisses and Tells

Photo taken from:  The Queen Bee of Bees
Photo taken from: The Queen Bee of Bees

Please do not ask me why but I belong to a group where white men and black women search for interracial love.  And, yes, I am married, so please don’t add more to my belonging to this group other than:  I joined for nostalgic reasons.  My husband knows I am associated with the group and he is okay with me being a member.  But my blog post today is not about why I joined such a group.  Actually the subject is more in line with  “A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.”

A couple of weeks ago I noticed the group heating up with activity.  So one day I zipped cyberly into the room where I quietly watched the dialogues between the sexes.

After a young woman had blown the cover of a married man he started calling all the women in the group “hoes.”  And the unconventional responses from the young women failed to put the disrespectful young man in his proper place; therefore, he became more abusive because he knew he was saying things that upset the women.  Sadly the administrator(s) of the group supported this young man’s abrasive behavior.  Especially since he/she/they did not temporarily or permanently remove him from the community.  So, me, as an old schooler sitting and watching the conversation unfold witness rejection at its worse and low self-esteem at its peak.  But what bugged me most was the following question asked by another man within the group:

Lets talk about blowjobs. What are your thoughts, feelings, opinions and knowledge on the subject?

When I told my husband I had a problem with the question my husband said, “You got a problem with that question?  With all the other [implicated deleted] going on and you got a problem with that question?”  Regrettably, I must confess my husband in private spoke like a true man!  Ugh!

Oh!  But my hubby didn’t stop with the above [not so funny] statements he then continued his humor by saying, “He was running a primary election trying to find the right candidate.  He was being Democratic.”

It’s obvious my husband finds the question humorous while I’m totally offended by it.  For the record, I am not a prude but, I am a person that believes ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells.’  And I felt any woman who responded to the question would be foolish!  Because the question was posed to scout-out desperate naïve women that would be willing to do anything of a sexual nature for a chance at love.

However, there is one thing my husband and I both agree on, and that is “the guy was trying to fill a job position.”  And every women that answered his question was possibly considered for the job.

Word to the young:

If an acquaintance is willing to discuss sexual preference before they cultivate a meaningful and lasting relationship with you, then they are looking to satisfy their sexual appetite and any person will do!  Don’t you be that any person unless you are looking to be a one-night stand! And even when a woman has a one night-stand she holds true to ‘A Lady Never Kisses and Tells’!