Saturday Funnies: In Praise of Women Over Forty

Life After 40As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, “What are you thinking?”  She doesn’t care what you think.  If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it.  She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified.  They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.  Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.  Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.  They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.  Women get psychic as they age.  You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.  Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.  Older women are forthright and honest.  They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one.  You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her!  Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.  Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal.  For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.  Ladies, I apologize.  For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, here’s an update for you.  Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.  Why?  Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!


 

Author is unknown but this is an embellished version of “In Praise of Older Women” by Frank Kaiser


 

Saturday Funnies: The Due Process of Elderly Women

Apparently a young man was running late for work when he saw a car accident.  He called his boss to leave a message about his delay.   But afterwards he finds himself giving a blow-by-blow account of what was taking place between a man and elderly women.  This is truly the funniest story and voicemail I have ever heard.

 

Inspirational Fridays: Giving Is The Best Communication . . .

The First Thanksgiving, painting by Jean Louis...
The First Thanksgiving, painting by Jean Louis Gerome Ferris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching I am at a lost for a dinner menu.

 

Honestly, I am so over turkey and dressing, collard greens, black-eyed peas, mashed potatoes covered in turkey gravy, corn, candy yams and sweet potato-pie with a dollop of cool-whip.  But if I met one person that has never feasted on such a lavish Thanksgiving meal I would find the strength to prepare it and cultivate an appetite to eat it once again.

 

Yesterday my cousin Theresa told me I was not the person she once knew.  She said, “You’ve changed.”  She went on to express how she remembered my tearful outbursts and moments later how I would be extremely happy, or short-tempered.  Honestly, I had forgotten those moments and the young woman that felt life was not worth living.  And I find it spiritually amazing how God will allow others to remind you of days gone by.  And how the kindness of others helped transformed your life during difficult moments.  As a result of my transformation I am grateful for all things.

 

So today I am taking the time to search for and post inspiring messages to help someone along the way.  If the message I share is not for you please pass it on.  You never know who will need words of encouragement.  So to kick off my inspirational Friday messages is the below video of a businessman’s compassion for humanity.

 

Happy Friday!

 

 

Inspirational Fridays: Aging With and Without Regrets

As my sister celebrated her birthday this year she was and is unquestionably delighted to turn 50. I on the other hand did not look forwards to turning another year older.  Yet my 52 birthday was creeping closely and did manage to arrive on scheduled.   My birthday is never late!   Honestly, I really wish after I had turned 30 my birthday would come around once every 10 years.

It appears my regretful and wounded soul continues to look for the life that was lost so long ago.

My person questions all of life’s ambitions, my life’s ambitions, to a point where I’m silently asking the following:  What makes the aging graceful and ready to grow older and old?  What makes the aging mean and bitter as they do grow older and old?  And what will I become as I age and my physical beauty continues to fade?  Will I be a sweet old woman that has few regrets?  Or will I become an old bag of bitter bones that is mean because I failed to live my life to its fullest?

Truthfully, I would say at this point I am becoming by default ‘an old bag of bitter bones that is mean because I failed to live my life to its fullest.’

Are you shocked at my brutal conclusion of my self awareness examination?  Are you shocked that I can be as truthful about what I inwardly harbor?  Don’t be shocked because there are other’s just like me.  Perhaps you are like me.  Maybe you are worse than me.  But it is never too late for us to change the course of our lives as long as we continue to breathe hope.

At this moment my beloved Colorado is under flood watch.  Because of flooding many of the smaller cities and towns have been force to evacuate. Lives are being uprooted by force of nature and people have to take shelter of safety in unfamiliar places.  Uncertainty about the course of their lives looms over the evacuees’ heads as they wait for the storm to subside.

After carefully watching video footage of flooding areas in Colorado I have come to the conclusion, it is the amount of life’s storms and their surges that determines if we will age gracefully or bitter.

And regrettably sometimes our personal lives from beginning to end are under flood watch or in the eye of the storm.

At least my life is consistently under storm watch; and often my poor choices continue to place me in the midst of raging floods.  And, since, I didn’t know how to swim to safety I have found myself spiritually and emotionally drowning over and over again.  As a result, I regret a few things I have done, moreover, my biggest regrets are the things I failed and continue to fail to do; therefore, for me aging is a big reminder how I wasted my talents and my life.

With remorse I must write, my life [outside of my children] was squandered on people and things that could not validate my existence.  In a nutshell, I confess, I spent the majority of my life looking for validation from people who had never been validated themselves.   So when I turned 50 I felt life was over for me.  I felt nothing about me depicted a life of success and that included the children I dearly love.

But as I continue on this journey we call life, every day I am reminded people age 50 and over that are living wonderful lives with little to no regrets.  And Lillie McCloud is one of those people.  She is an amazing singer.  She has an amazing outlook about her life.  She does not regret putting her singing career on hold to raise her children.  At the age of 54 she feels now is her time to fulfill her dream.  I just love her confidence during her X Factor audition.  She selected the right song. She wore the right outfit. Her persona said what she stated “I’m here to win” as she sang Cece Winans’ song “Alabaster Box.” Everything about Lillie says age 50 is where it’s at!  Check her out: