Granny’s Wisdom: Do Not Wear Out Your Welcome

This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.
This is my second cousin, Felicia Hayes, and my grandmother, Queen Hayes.

I wonder how many people have heard the phrase “do not wear out your welcome.”  Hum . . . I first heard the expression from my grandmother when I was young.

Back when I was once a kid, and a know-it-all, it seemed my late maternal grandmother would always say those words to my cousins, my siblings and me.  I’m not sure how my family members took her wisdom; but back when I was a child I thought my grandmother was old, uncaring, uneducated, mean-spirited, and truly out of touch with the mental and emotional needs of the young.  [chuckle]

I can remember as if it was yesterday sassing her for this or that.  But nothing stands out more than the time she would not let me go over to my cousin’s house as often as I wanted.   And, sadly, it was late into my adult years before I understood the meaning ‘do not wear out your welcome.’

As I’m looking back on things and reflecting upon how I dismissed her words of caution, I now understand why my life was filled with heartaches.

I hate to admit to myself but I deserved all the bumps I got from being hardheaded; and my self enlightenment really makes me feel foolish about things I had blame on others.

Well, any-who-how . . . It was by divine revelation I found the phrase in the Bible one day.  I was shocked!  It was amazing to read that God gives his children the same warning!

Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you. Proverbs 25:17

The message I get from this passage is:  don’t be so darn clingy!  Get a life!  Explore parts of your life without others.  Enjoy family when can.  And remember a bit of you goes a long ways.

I’m coming to terms with my granny’s wisdom.  My grandmother has passed but her words live on.  And each day that I live I think about her abrasive and unharness wisdom.  I’m learning she was indeed the smartest woman I will ever know and most of all she loved me.

Vocabulary Mondays: Agapae

Photo taken from:  http://ubdavid.org/advanced/practical/practical-christian_21.html
Photo taken from: http://ubdavid.org/advanced/practical/practical-christian_21.html

It has been years since I have used the word agapae.  But I wanted to use it in a short message to a dear friend.  Since I knew I had forgotten how to spell the word I decided to Google it.  I typed the following within the Google search bar:  agodbae, agodba, agotbae and etc.  Yet, nothing I spelled gave me the correct spelling for the word I so dearly wanted to use.  I was becoming frustrated.  I even thought maybe I had learned a word that did not exist.

Let’s just say it took me forever to find the correct spelling of agape, but, nevertheless, I found it!  And I used it!  Hip hip hooray!

Word:  agapae

Part of Speech:  noun, plural

Meanings:

1.  the love of God or Christ for humankind.

2.  the love of Christians for other persons, corresponding to the love of God for humankind.

3.  unselfish love of one person for another without sexual implications; brotherly love.

4.  love feast (  defs 1, 2 ).

Origin and History:

agape
c.1600, from Gk. agapan “greet with affection, love” (used by early Christians for their “love feast” held in connection with the Lord’s Supper), from agapan “to love,” of unknown origin. In modern use, often in simpler sense of “Christian love” (1856, frequently opposed to eros as “carnal or sensual.

 

Gotta Bad Attitude . . . Remember

Inspirational
Author:  Unknown

 

Inspirational Fridays: Giving Is The Best Communication . . .

The First Thanksgiving, painting by Jean Louis...
The First Thanksgiving, painting by Jean Louis Gerome Ferris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

With Thanksgiving quickly approaching I am at a lost for a dinner menu.

 

Honestly, I am so over turkey and dressing, collard greens, black-eyed peas, mashed potatoes covered in turkey gravy, corn, candy yams and sweet potato-pie with a dollop of cool-whip.  But if I met one person that has never feasted on such a lavish Thanksgiving meal I would find the strength to prepare it and cultivate an appetite to eat it once again.

 

Yesterday my cousin Theresa told me I was not the person she once knew.  She said, “You’ve changed.”  She went on to express how she remembered my tearful outbursts and moments later how I would be extremely happy, or short-tempered.  Honestly, I had forgotten those moments and the young woman that felt life was not worth living.  And I find it spiritually amazing how God will allow others to remind you of days gone by.  And how the kindness of others helped transformed your life during difficult moments.  As a result of my transformation I am grateful for all things.

 

So today I am taking the time to search for and post inspiring messages to help someone along the way.  If the message I share is not for you please pass it on.  You never know who will need words of encouragement.  So to kick off my inspirational Friday messages is the below video of a businessman’s compassion for humanity.

 

Happy Friday!

 

 

When Love Transcend Social Boundaries

Artist:  Unknown
Artist: Unknown

Last Sunday I was pressed to write a prayer for my blog  “The Prayers of Black Women.”  I wasn’t sure of my spiritual request to God; but, I felt my prayer should have been about Black women.

[Please don’t stop reading.  God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts, and you will read the transformation soon.]

Any-who-how, I was proud of my “I’m Black and I’m Proud” prayer.  Yet, I desired another persons opinion [preferably a black person].  So, I asked my son to come and proofread the prayer I had written.

Again, please don’t stop reading.  God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts about what it truly means to be a Black woman; and believe me when I write, my transformation is coming soon.  Sooner than I expect!

Insight:

For the past couple of days my soul has been unease about the image I’m projecting as a woman of color.

In my personal life I have an array of friends from all walks of life.

With great remorse, I have notice when I write I come across as a person of color that do not like people from other race groups.  The image I’m projecting is totally the opposite of my character.  Totally!  And if you keep reading you will soon see God is getting ready to transform the way I have been thinking and writing lately.

Dialogue between me and my son:

Me:  Can you please proofread my prayer?

My Son:  Hum.  Hum.  Okay.  (My son does not like to get involved in my writing projects.  So I was shocked when he said he would help me.)

Me:  So what do you think?

My Son:  If I came across your blog I would not read it.

Me:  Why?  [I was shocked at his bluntness.]

My Son:  Because it doesn’t have anything that could help me.

Me:  Of course not!  It’s a blog for Black women!

My Son:  Isn’t this about prayer?

Me:  Yes.  But it is a prayer for Black women.

My Son:  Shouldn’t prayer be for everyone?

Me:  [Speechless.]

Lesson Learned:

As a former seminar student I recently realized several pitfalls of racism.

In 1 Corinthians 15:31, Paul writes, “For I swear, dear brothers and sisters, that I face death daily. This is as certain as my pride in what Christ Jesus our Lord has done in you.”

Though I am on a spiritual sabbatical, I am an ambassador for Christ; therefore, my color, race, culture, and personal beliefs outside of Christianity should die daily.  But as it was, after finding myself upset with narrow-minded people I began a blog for Black women despite the need to encourage everyone.

Please understand, I am not a racist, my heart grieves for my race.  With such sorrow I find myself disappointed with a group of people who keep allowing themselves to fall prey to the cruelties of society.  My mind can’t grasp why these beautiful men and women continue to be mentally and emotionally castrated.   It is painful to belong to a race and sit idle as it implode.  Hosea 4:6 says, “My people perish for the lack of knowledge.

And because I don’t want my people to perish, sadly, my gender and my race became my cause to write.  When in my case it should have been man’s inhumanity to man who made me want to make a difference by putting into action “the pen is mightier than the sword.”  Because at the end of the day when all has been said and done we are still humans in need of love despite, race, color, culture, personal beliefs, personal choices, professional choices, religious choices, age and gender.

Until humankind understand that life without love and acceptance is all for not.  We will continue to overlook the most important thing to remember about living:  and that is when love transcend social boundaries it makes people do the right thing.  In 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 Paul writes the below about love:

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

America New Frontier for American Female Slave Descendants

Do not allow to slip away from you freedoms the people who came before you won with such hard knocks.  ~David Herbert Lawrence

It has been said that American slaves were not ready for freedom.  Hum?  With a hint of sarcasm, I can’t help but wonder why people forced and kept in captivity would be ready for advancement.  With sincerity I wonder if those that made such a comment were correct.

After growing mentally, emotionally, acquiring knowledge on many subjects, and becoming aware of the importance of ethnicity, as a woman of color I see slavery as a sad life changing event for African-American descendants in a wonderful way.  Don’t get me wrong I feel slavery was horrible.  It was brutal.  It made captive men and women feel helpless and hopeless.  It kept their descendants in continual fear.  And most of all it made humans feel non-human.  But it changed the course of life for many African slave freed descendants.

The process of slave choice was methodical.  Before deporting African’s to their destination and to fulfill their future owners purposes as slaves each captive would be inspected.  Their chins were licked for body salt content; they were also examined for tropical diseases, and, as a result, only the best African captives were kept and shipped.  If an African did not pass the tests performed they would be set free.  Other words with out question the cream of the crop Africans made it to America.  Thus, meaning the American Black woman came from strong African genetic lineages.

Think on this:  The only reason slavery was permitted to run rampant is because God had greater purposes for the descendants of African captives.  But in order for God’s plan to come about he allowed the puppeteers (slave traders/slave owners) to control new captives and enslave workers with fear; hence, giving slave traders and slave owners the illusion of having total power.  For at any time during any part of the slave trade process God could have removed all fears.  Allowed each captive to speak the same language.  And take control of the situation because of the simple fact the newly captive and slaves outnumbered their oppressors.  Instead God remained silent for a greater purpose and allowed slavery to stay as an economical institution for over four centuries.  As a descendant of slaves, I feel God’s purpose was and is allowing America to become the new frontier for African American female slave descendants.

Remember this:  It is up to the American Black women as people and a gender group to welcome the opportunities.  Opportunities that were literally paid for with the blood of those that came before us.  Only a defeated person will lay and wallow in self-pity and allow opportunities to pass them by.  As I have told my grand-daughter when she wanted to join drama and choir and felt the doors were closed . . . keep going back until someone recognize you are serious about joining those activities.  I also made known that eventually someone will get tired of seeing her face and give her a chance to prove she is worthy for an audition.  She was frustrated!  She was feed up with my “go back’s.” And reluctantly she took my advice.  Today she is in drama and loving it!  It took her half the school year to get into drama but she made it!  In addition to joining drama she was recently selected to sing in the school talent show.  She is so excited!  Life is grand for her and again she loves it!

As Black women we have to work harder to meet our goals.  Most often the struggles are daunting and make our goals seem less important, but don’t give up and don’t give in.  Keep going!  If you can’t get in the front door hell try a side door.  If the side door won’t open check the back door.  If the back door is locked go through a window and if the window is locked cut a hole in the roof throw down a rope and make your dream happen!  Successes only come to those and for those people that are hungry for their desires to materialize!  So again I quote David Herbert Lawrence, “Do not allow to slip away from you freedoms the people who came before you won with such hard knocks.”