When Keshia Thomas was 18 years old in 1996, the KKK held a rally in her home town of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hundreds of protesters turned out to tell the white supremacist organization that they were not welcome in the progressive college town. At one point during the event, a man with a SS tattoo and wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with a Confederate flag ended up on the protesters’ side of the fence and a small group began to chase him. He was quickly knocked to the ground and kicked and hit with placard sticks.
As people began to shout, “Kill the Nazi,” the high school student, fearing that mob mentality had taken over, decided to act. Thomas threw herself on top of one of the men she had come to protest, protecting him from the blows. In discussing her motivation after the event, she stated, “Someone had to step out of the pack and say, ‘this isn’t right’… I knew what it was like to be hurt. The many times that that happened, I wish someone would have stood up for me… violence is violence – nobody deserves to be hurt, especially not for an idea.”
Thomas never heard from the man after that day but months later, a young man came up to her to say thanks, telling her that the man she had protected was his father. For Thomas, learning that he had a son brought even greater significance to her heroic act. As she observed, “For the most part, people who hurt… they come from hurt. It is a cycle. Let’s say they had killed him or hurt him really bad. How does the son feel? Does he carry on the violence?”
Mark Brunner, the student photographer who took this now famous photograph, added that what was so remarkable was who Thomas saved: “She put herself at physical risk to protect someone who, in my opinion, would not have done the same for her. Who does that in this world?”
Keshia’s choice was to affirm what some have lost.
Keshia’s choice was human.
Keshia’s choice was hope.”
Part of Speech: noun
Sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.
The other day as I was reading headlines on Facebook I stumbled across a very sad story. The story was about a seven-year old boy named Kalyb Primm Wiley. He had been placed in handcuffs by his schools security. Apparently the little boy had been picked on by his peers. Feed up with the ill-treatment and feeling helpless the little seven-year old boy began to scream. After he began to scream the unskilled teacher called for help to restrain the yelling child. From the sounds of things the adults in charged didn’t try or was unable to rationally communicate with the child during his meltdown; therefore, he was placed in handcuffs until his father arrived.
When his father got to the school and saw his son in handcuffs he could not believe his eyes. Now . . . I’m not saying white students are not mistreated . . . but a large percentage of white parents would have taken pictures of their child’s inhumane condition. Most white parents whether they like their kid or not would have begun building social coffins for social antics they consider inhumane. The photos taken would have been sent to an attorney, the school district superintendent, their state’s governor, their state’s senator, their city/town mayor, every newspaper in this country and all powers that be. And in the end their child would receive a large monetary settlement from the school district for being publicly humiliated. But so often when black students suffer at the hands of those that are in position of trust nothing is ever done.
I’m following this particular story. I want to see how long it takes the school district in Kansas City, MO to change their policy on children and handcuffs. Especially since those that enforce the rules are not commonsensical in character.
I wonder how many people have heard the phrase “do not wear out your welcome.” Hum . . . I first heard the expression from my grandmother when I was young.
Back when I was once a kid, and a know-it-all, it seemed my late maternal grandmother would always say those words to my cousins, my siblings and me. I’m not sure how my family members took her wisdom; but back when I was a child I thought my grandmother was old, uncaring, uneducated, mean-spirited, and truly out of touch with the mental and emotional needs of the young. [chuckle]
I can remember as if it was yesterday sassing her for this or that. But nothing stands out more than the time she would not let me go over to my cousin’s house as often as I wanted. And, sadly, it was late into my adult years before I understood the meaning ‘do not wear out your welcome.’
As I’m looking back on things and reflecting upon how I dismissed her words of caution, I now understand why my life was filled with heartaches.
I hate to admit to myself but I deserved all the bumps I got from being hardheaded; and my self enlightenment really makes me feel foolish about things I had blame on others.
Well, any-who-how . . . It was by divine revelation I found the phrase in the Bible one day. I was shocked! It was amazing to read that God gives his children the same warning!
Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house– too much of you, and they will hate you. Proverbs 25:17
The message I get from this passage is: don’t be so darn clingy! Get a life! Explore parts of your life without others. Enjoy family when can. And remember a bit of you goes a long ways.
I’m coming to terms with my granny’s wisdom. My grandmother has passed but her words live on. And each day that I live I think about her abrasive and unharness wisdom. I’m learning she was indeed the smartest woman I will ever know and most of all she loved me.
It is wonderful to see another woman of color maintaining marital status as her hubby becomes a “mover and a shaker.”
As I looked upon the picture showing NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his family, I became instantly proud. Their family photo of political triumph says a thousand words.
I believe most can find a reason why this family collectively, and as individuals, will make great ambassadors for New York City. And adding icing to the cake, for me, is the fact that Mr. De Blasio is taking two lovely black women with him on his political journey.
Hip hip hooray!
Furthermore, it’s wonderful to see his wife Chirlane McCray is also a successful woman in her own craft. And if I was still young “I would love to be like her when I grow up.”
In her interview with Huffington Post, Chirlane McCray is grateful, graceful and strong in convictions about her life experiences. I guess, many people feel she will be a great advocate for the black community as well as the gay and lesbian communities. But, be that as it may, I did find it funny neither woman mentioned within the interview how Chirlane McCray’s life successes will impact the world’s view about black woman.
Though I thought the interview went well, again, I did noticed black women as a group being left out among those that are considered less fortunate. And, once again, black women were thrown into groups that have struggled for centuries for equality on many levels.
Yet, society fails to realize black men and black women have been methodically segregated due to social acceptance. Thus, forcing black women to become a group outside of an oppressed race; and giving birth to black women searching for social acceptance without ties to black men.
For me, Chirlane’s successes are and will be pivotal moments for her and those she represent; because after all, black women are considered the lowest on the social totem pole for dating and marrying. And in the year 2013 an interracial couple seems to be slaying the put-down comments of black women yesteryear relationship taboos.
Oh, I’m sure the interviewer and Chirlane McCray did not intend to leave black women out as a struggling group for social acceptance; but it is such a natural response to look over black women in an acceptable way. After all black women have been pushed underneath the social carpet as unlovable and uneducated.
Sometimes society makes me personally feel most are saying, “if we ignore them they will go away.” Therefore, as black women we must make considerable efforts to remember black women along our successful journeys; as we gently say in our personal and professional achievements that black women are here to stay. However, it is moments like Mr. and Mrs. De Blasio’s public triumphs that clearly say black women truly do have it going on.
So, once more, congrats to NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his lovely family for their political win.
WE ALL HAVE GLITCHES AND FLAWS IN OUR CHARACTER… Not one of us is perfect. — RICK RENNER
Larry, I don’t even know where to start this personal message to you about your negative comments towards black people, overweight women, people who have tattoos, and sexual preferences.
Therefore, I guess I will begin with your blog comments about black women and black people. (As a personal side note, actually as a black woman I thought your race specific comments were hysterically funny! I don’t agree with them but I do think they were funny. And I do mean they were entertaining).
I hate to bust your bubble but your words were not shocking. I have heard some black people privately state the same about white people, and so forth and so on. So when you openly expressed your thoughts on why you don’t date black women, or white women that have dated black men, I was not in shock. Mainly, because, as quite as it has been kept there are people from every race, class, and creed that feel the same as you. And sad to write, I was once among those people who felt races should not mix.
Therefore, I’m writing, “You go boy!” You took courage by the tail of ignorance and put your person in the line of social-fire! Gosh! Dude! What the heck were you thinking when you created your website looking for love!
I’m sure your lack of intimacy with a woman that loves being with you speared you on to create a blog that makes you looks like a total jerk-face to a lot of people. Surprisingly, as a woman of color, I see you totally different. I see you as a man that wrote what he felt to find conditional love. And it didn’t matter to you the feelings you publicly and socially hurt in the process, as long as you got the woman of your dreams. Right.
- It’s okay that you don’t find black women physically attractive.
- It’s okay to say you think black people are disgusting to look upon.
- It’s okay to say black people look like animals.
- It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has slept with black men.
- It’s okay to say races should not mix.
- It’s okay to say you like everything pink on your mate.
- It’s okay that you don’t want an overweight woman.
- It’s okay that you don’t want a woman who has tattoos.
- It’s okay to call certain types of white people trash.
- It is even okay to express you don’t want a woman who has engaged in group sex.
- And it’s okay to date women without children.
Personally, I don’t agree with your views. I believe every person should live and let live (as why I didn’t and don’t take your comments about black women and black people to heart).
But the problem came once you publicly stated those things in search of conditional love. Most people, especially a successful business person, with an ounce of social decorum would have posted the positive attributes of what they’re looking for in a mate. Later within a private setting they would discard names, emails, and phone numbers of those that didn’t fit their criteria. Do you get the picture!
Instead, you wrote racial propaganda about why you do not date black women; and supported your views by stating non-blacks should not mix the races if it involves black people. Larry, your shallow statement “I think that all races were created equal” was an afterthought to soften the blow of your inhumane statements on people of color.
Don’t back down now man . . . tell the world how you truly feel about black folks!
Larry! Hello! What planet are you from! What planet are you living on! And how can you look at yourself in the mirror every day with your extreme racial views and say you are not a racist. Shakespeare once wrote, “This above all: to thine own self be true.” Larry, I hate to break the news to you buddy but your statements are racial; thus, painting you as a racist. And anyone telling you otherwise is blowing smoke up your heinie. Laughter!
Larry, as a woman of color, I truly wish you all the best in finding the woman you feel you deserve. And remember . . .
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. ~Mark Twain
Last Sunday I was pressed to write a prayer for my blog “The Prayers of Black Women.” I wasn’t sure of my spiritual request to God; but, I felt my prayer should have been about Black women.
[Please don’t stop reading. God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts, and you will read the transformation soon.]
Any-who-how, I was proud of my “I’m Black and I’m Proud” prayer. Yet, I desired another persons opinion [preferably a black person]. So, I asked my son to come and proofread the prayer I had written.
Again, please don’t stop reading. God is working in my life on my misplaced and misguided thoughts about what it truly means to be a Black woman; and believe me when I write, my transformation is coming soon. Sooner than I expect!
For the past couple of days my soul has been unease about the image I’m projecting as a woman of color.
In my personal life I have an array of friends from all walks of life.
With great remorse, I have notice when I write I come across as a person of color that do not like people from other race groups. The image I’m projecting is totally the opposite of my character. Totally! And if you keep reading you will soon see God is getting ready to transform the way I have been thinking and writing lately.
Dialogue between me and my son:
Me: Can you please proofread my prayer?
My Son: Hum. Hum. Okay. (My son does not like to get involved in my writing projects. So I was shocked when he said he would help me.)
Me: So what do you think?
My Son: If I came across your blog I would not read it.
Me: Why? [I was shocked at his bluntness.]
My Son: Because it doesn’t have anything that could help me.
Me: Of course not! It’s a blog for Black women!
My Son: Isn’t this about prayer?
Me: Yes. But it is a prayer for Black women.
My Son: Shouldn’t prayer be for everyone?
As a former seminar student I recently realized several pitfalls of racism.
In 1 Corinthians 15:31, Paul writes, “For I swear, dear brothers and sisters, that I face death daily. This is as certain as my pride in what Christ Jesus our Lord has done in you.”
Though I am on a spiritual sabbatical, I am an ambassador for Christ; therefore, my color, race, culture, and personal beliefs outside of Christianity should die daily. But as it was, after finding myself upset with narrow-minded people I began a blog for Black women despite the need to encourage everyone.
Please understand, I am not a racist, my heart grieves for my race. With such sorrow I find myself disappointed with a group of people who keep allowing themselves to fall prey to the cruelties of society. My mind can’t grasp why these beautiful men and women continue to be mentally and emotionally castrated. It is painful to belong to a race and sit idle as it implode. Hosea 4:6 says, “My people perish for the lack of knowledge.
And because I don’t want my people to perish, sadly, my gender and my race became my cause to write. When in my case it should have been man’s inhumanity to man who made me want to make a difference by putting into action “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Because at the end of the day when all has been said and done we are still humans in need of love despite, race, color, culture, personal beliefs, personal choices, professional choices, religious choices, age and gender.
Until humankind understand that life without love and acceptance is all for not. We will continue to overlook the most important thing to remember about living: and that is when love transcend social boundaries it makes people do the right thing. In 1 Corinthians 13:2-7 Paul writes the below about love:
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
About a week ago on a Facebook page I follow titled “White Men Who Love Their Black Women” the administrator posted the following:
I over heard a conversation among several White women today and they were talking about a couple of girls that didn’t seem threatening to them when it came to getting men or their boyfriends. Within the conversation they mentioned some things that they knew these girls possessed that made them seemingly, “less attractive”. The 1st notable remark that was made was the fact that one of the girls was heavy set—that almost automatically took her out of the game (according to these women). The 2nd comment was that another one of the girls was “universally unattractive” (according to them NO ONE would ever deem her pretty under anyone’s microscope). But the grand finale of a statement that was made that the last girl was Black—yes BLACK—that was why she didn’t pose a threat . These White women seemed to think that their White skin ordained them to be a peck above Black women getting White men just because they were White. My thing is this: I’m good as any girl of any color and I’ll be damned to think that a girl just being White and me being Black would take me away from even being considered an option of a White guy or for that, White men! Questions? Comments?
Due to time restraints I could not make a comment. So today I sit and write my feelings about the brutal honesty of those that publicly spoke on less threatening women when it comes to them dating and them maintaining marital security.
Love comes in multiple colors with surmountable reasons for loving. Only shallow people with low self-esteem will build outwardly with bitter words for mortar a false wall of security. The women gathered at this loathing banquet walked away more empty before they sat to fellowship. It is clear to see these women are not busy living productive lives. Surely what they say or think about women they consider less than is irrelevant to the cause of women of color progressing in life, personally and professionally.
Let’s speak truth: It is not women of color that seek tanning salons to darken their skin. Our skin tone is a birthright given to all colored women by God genetically. Subjectively, if I had problems with people of African descent I would never tan. The process of tanning would be in such a situation as hypocritical. Because to me non-colored people who have problems with Black people due to darker skin pigmentation are jealous, simple-minded, human beings that should have their mouths tape shut. I am only speaking about non-colored people who dislike for the sake of disliking and using color as a scapegoat. IT IS NOT LOGICAL TO TAN WHEN YOU DESPISE OTHER PEOPLE FOR NATURALLY HAVING WHAT YOU PAY TO ACQUIRE! Such actions provoke the question why are you making your skin the color of those you hate for having it!
As far as I am concern, I feel all people are beautiful . . .
And Black women do give to the rainbow of love. The only difference between Blacks and non-colored people are skin pigmentation’s. Outside of that! Nothing else is different when it comes to being human.
Sad to write, but unfortunately the White woman who made the harsh comment about Black women was correct based upon social stereotype. Therefore, at this point what is relevant and not irrelevant is how long it will take Black women to realize we must shift the way people think of us. We must show others as single people and as a group that we are worth dating and marrying (outside of our brown skin tones).
Women of color we need to change the dating and marring game to our home courts! We need to learn positive ways to effectively market us as people and a gender race group. We need to help other Black women that slipped through the cracks of life. We need to create dating and marring game plans that potential mates can understand; and in doing so we will inspire all men from all walks of life to crossover and play on our team as boyfriends and husbands. In addition, we need to first seek to understand so we will be understood.
I can only end that dating and marrying should be a personal choice. How a person arrives to dating this person or that person, and, or, marrying this person or that person again is a personal choice.
In my journey I have learned to cross over and date men from other races. To me the equipment all works the same despite hearsay! Laughter!
Have a great day! And remember Black women really do have it going on!