Last night I was chatting with a cousin-in-law. He used the word dearth. I had never heard of the word. And I was too embarrassed to ask the meaning. So I wrote the word down on a piece of paper with the intent to use it for today’s post.
It is wonderful to see another woman of color maintaining marital status as her hubby becomes a “mover and a shaker.”
As I looked upon the picture showing NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his family, I became instantly proud. Their family photo of political triumph says a thousand words.
I believe most can find a reason why this family collectively, and as individuals, will make great ambassadors for New York City. And adding icing to the cake, for me, is the fact that Mr. De Blasio is taking two lovely black women with him on his political journey.
Hip hip hooray!
Furthermore, it’s wonderful to see his wife Chirlane McCray is also a successful woman in her own craft. And if I was still young “I would love to be like her when I grow up.”
In her interview with Huffington Post, Chirlane McCray is grateful, graceful and strong in convictions about her life experiences. I guess, many people feel she will be a great advocate for the black community as well as the gay and lesbian communities. But, be that as it may, I did find it funny neither woman mentioned within the interview how Chirlane McCray’s life successes will impact the world’s view about black woman.
Though I thought the interview went well, again, I did noticed black women as a group being left out among those that are considered less fortunate. And, once again, black women were thrown into groups that have struggled for centuries for equality on many levels.
Yet, society fails to realize black men and black women have been methodically segregated due to social acceptance. Thus, forcing black women to become a group outside of an oppressed race; and giving birth to black women searching for social acceptance without ties to black men.
For me, Chirlane’s successes are and will be pivotal moments for her and those she represent; because after all, black women are considered the lowest on the social totem pole for dating and marrying. And in the year 2013 an interracial couple seems to be slaying the put-down comments of black women yesteryear relationship taboos.
Oh, I’m sure the interviewer and Chirlane McCray did not intend to leave black women out as a struggling group for social acceptance; but it is such a natural response to look over black women in an acceptable way. After all black women have been pushed underneath the social carpet as unlovable and uneducated.
Sometimes society makes me personally feel most are saying, “if we ignore them they will go away.” Therefore, as black women we must make considerable efforts to remember black women along our successful journeys; as we gently say in our personal and professional achievements that black women are here to stay. However, it is moments like Mr. and Mrs. De Blasio’s public triumphs that clearly say black women truly do have it going on.
So, once more, congrats to NYC democratic mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his lovely family for their political win.
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but think you can’t
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you’re outclassed, you are:
You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can. –Walter D. Wintle
1747, Scottish, of unknown origin, perhaps related to Gael. colpach “heifer, steer, colt;” colpa “cow,horse.” The Lowland name of a demon in the shape of a horse that was reputed to haunt lakes and riversand to delight in causing drownings. But unlike its equivalents in Dan. (nøkken) and Icel. –Dictionary.com
About a week ago on a Facebook page I follow titled “White Men Who Love Their Black Women” the administrator posted the following:
I over heard a conversation among several White women today and they were talking about a couple of girls that didn’t seem threatening to them when it came to getting men or their boyfriends. Within the conversation they mentioned some things that they knew these girls possessed that made them seemingly, “less attractive”. The 1st notable remark that was made was the fact that one of the girls was heavy set—that almost automatically took her out of the game (according to these women). The 2nd comment was that another one of the girls was “universally unattractive” (according to them NO ONE would ever deem her pretty under anyone’s microscope). But the grand finale of a statement that was made that the last girl was Black—yes BLACK—that was why she didn’t pose a threat . These White women seemed to think that their White skin ordained them to be a peck above Black women getting White men just because they were White. My thing is this: I’m good as any girl of any color and I’ll be damned to think that a girl just being White and me being Black would take me away from even being considered an option of a White guy or for that, White men! Questions? Comments?
Due to time restraints I could not make a comment. So today I sit and write my feelings about the brutal honesty of those that publicly spoke on less threatening women when it comes to them dating and them maintaining marital security.
Love comes in multiple colors with surmountable reasons for loving. Only shallow people with low self-esteem will build outwardly with bitter words for mortar a false wall of security. The women gathered at this loathing banquet walked away more empty before they sat to fellowship. It is clear to see these women are not busy living productive lives. Surely what they say or think about women they consider less than is irrelevant to the cause of women of color progressing in life, personally and professionally.
Let’s speak truth: It is not women of color that seek tanning salons to darken their skin. Our skin tone is a birthright given to all colored women by God genetically. Subjectively, if I had problems with people of African descent I would never tan. The process of tanning would be in such a situation as hypocritical. Because to me non-colored people who have problems with Black people due to darker skin pigmentation are jealous, simple-minded, human beings that should have their mouths tape shut. I am only speaking about non-colored people who dislike for the sake of disliking and using color as a scapegoat. IT IS NOT LOGICAL TO TAN WHEN YOU DESPISE OTHER PEOPLE FOR NATURALLY HAVING WHAT YOU PAY TO ACQUIRE! Suchactions provoke the question why are you making your skin the color of those you hate for having it!
As far as I am concern, I feel all people are beautiful . . .
And Black women do give to the rainbow of love. The only difference between Blacks and non-colored people are skin pigmentation’s. Outside of that! Nothing else is different when it comes to being human.
Sad to write, but unfortunately the White woman who made the harsh comment about Black women was correct based upon social stereotype. Therefore, at this point what is relevant and not irrelevant is how long it will take Black women to realize we must shift the way people think of us. We must show others as single people and as a group that we are worth dating and marrying (outside of our brown skin tones).
Women of color we need to change the dating and marring game to our home courts! We need to learn positive ways to effectively market us as people and a gender race group. We need to help other Black women that slipped through the cracks of life. We need to create dating and marring game plans that potential mates can understand; and in doing so we will inspire all men from all walks of life to crossover and play on our team as boyfriends and husbands. In addition, we need to first seek to understand so we will be understood.
I can only end that dating and marrying should be a personal choice. How a person arrives to dating this person or that person, and, or, marrying this person or that person again is a personal choice.
In my journey I have learned to cross over and date men from other races. To me the equipment all works the same despite hearsay! Laughter!
Have a great day! And remember Black women really do have it going on!
Do not allow to slip away from you freedoms the people who came before you won with such hard knocks. ~David Herbert Lawrence
It has been said that American slaves were not ready for freedom. Hum? With a hint of sarcasm, I can’t help but wonder why people forced and kept in captivity would be ready for advancement. With sincerity I wonder if those that made such a comment were correct.
After growing mentally, emotionally, acquiring knowledge on many subjects, and becoming aware of the importance of ethnicity, as a woman of color I see slavery as a sad life changing event for African-American descendants in a wonderful way. Don’t get me wrong I feel slavery was horrible. It was brutal. It made captive men and women feel helpless and hopeless. It kept their descendants in continual fear. And most of all it made humans feel non-human. But it changed the course of life for many African slave freed descendants.
Think on this: The only reason slavery was permitted to run rampant is because God had greater purposes for the descendants of African captives. But in order for God’s plan to come about he allowed the puppeteers (slave traders/slave owners) to control new captives and enslave workers with fear; hence, giving slave traders and slave owners the illusion of having total power. For at any time during any part of the slave trade process God could have removed all fears. Allowed each captive to speak the same language. And take control of the situation because of the simple fact the newly captive and slaves outnumbered their oppressors. Instead God remained silent for a greater purpose and allowed slavery to stay as an economical institution for over four centuries. As a descendant of slaves, I feel God’s purpose was and is allowing America to become the new frontier for African American female slave descendants.
Remember this: It is up to the American Black women as people and a gender group to welcome the opportunities. Opportunities that were literally paid for with the blood of those that came before us. Only a defeated person will lay and wallow in self-pity and allow opportunities to pass them by. As I have told my grand-daughter when she wanted to join drama and choir and felt the doors were closed . . . keep going back until someone recognize you are serious about joining those activities. I also made known that eventually someone will get tired of seeing her face and give her a chance to prove she is worthy for an audition. She was frustrated! She was feed up with my “go back’s.” And reluctantly she took my advice. Today she is in drama and loving it! It took her half the school year to get into drama but she made it! In addition to joining drama she was recently selected to sing in the school talent show. She is so excited! Life is grand for her and again she loves it!
As Black women we have to work harder to meet our goals. Most often the struggles are daunting and make our goals seem less important, but don’t give up and don’t give in. Keep going! If you can’t get in the front door hell try a side door. If the side door won’t open check the back door. If the back door is locked go through a window and if the window is locked cut a hole in the roof throw down a rope and make your dream happen! Successes only come to those and for those people that are hungry for their desires to materialize! So again I quote David Herbert Lawrence, “Do not allow to slip away from you freedoms the people who came before you won with such hard knocks.”