As life would have it I was born to two wonderful parents; but sadly they never realized they were great people in their own rights. Because of their emotional deficiencies they could not, would not, co-parent children they created together. Life for me was like living on a battlefield of never-ending arguments. Nevertheless, today, I still consider myself bless for their genetic participation for my existence. Life was hard but I persevered through the rough times, and I thank God for the good times that came few and far between life trials and tribulations.
I became a mother at the age of 17. It was clear I was too young to realize my mistake. Without life experience and no one to guide me I entered adulthood unprepared. I married my son’s dad before I finish high school. I had my son soon after high school graduation. Be still my sad and beating heart. Right at this moment I feel the adults in my life failed me; but they were not alone. So many of my high school classmates either married too young, became parents too soon or did nothing to mention with their lives. Now that is really sad.
And worse yet, not soon after I had given birth to my son I left my husband for cheating and beating me. Yeah! Can you believe he hit me because he got caught cheating? Needless to write the woman he cheated with conceived and had a daughter. My, my, the odd of creating a good and healthy life style was not in my favor. I came out of high school making foolish choices for my life. Did you catch the “my life” part? Sadly too many people don’t realize the lives they are living are theirs. As a result they make poor choices and live lives of continual havoc. Any-who-how, I moved to Louisiana to attend college at Grambling. Hum. That never happened! See a pattern here! I’m making poor choices again!
By the time I turned 19-20 I met this really nice guy. He was older. He had more to offer than my immature husband, but again he was not a good choice. He carried a gun and he lost his life because of a gun. However, before his death he did try to change the course of my life. He wanted more for me and my young son. He brought me a one-way plane ticket to Colorado and encouraged me to apply for college. I took his advice but I did not attend the traditional college or university. Instead I applied for a medical assistant program where I graduated with a 98% GPA. Good choice short-lived.
After graduation I worked for one of Colorado up and coming Black gynecologist. I ran the front and back office and assisted in examines. I knew my stuff. The doctor was proud to have me on staff. He tried to encourage me to return to school and build upon my skills in the gynecology field, but youth and stupidity won again. Once again, I made a poor choice by quitting my job to work for a credit card company. Credit card Company! Hello! By this time my parents should have seen the self-destructive warning signs. Nope. They were too busy doing them. So I continued down the wrong road with a little person in tow.
I’m just shaking my head in disbelief. It is hard to acknowledge my parents failure in assisting me to acquire a successful and full life style. It is even harder to accept their poor or lack of parental skills. It makes me angry to shed light to their inability to help me get on the track. Truly they saw the warning signs. My father was excellent at expressing how I would never amount to anything. Mainly because he felt I did not know “the kings English. I was a woman and I was Black.” Yes, you read right! My father said those horrible things to me his daughter.
Looking for acceptance I continued dating ALL the wrong men. I never felt comfortable with any man from any walk of life. I’m not saying I am a lesbian. I’m not saying I have problems with women that date other women. Hey to each its own. I’m saying I struggled in selecting men that fit the life style I desired or wanted. Believe it or not, every man I dated or married came with more baggage than I was carrying. Yet in the midst of chaos I managed to gain and or acquire the below successes:
I am a proud mother, grand-parent and wife. I am an unpublished author. When I was a single parent I brought two houses. I have my high school diploma as well as a Medical Assistance diploma. I have my Bachelors of Science in Organizational Management with an Emphasis in Human Resources. Several years ago, I was a year away from receiving my Masters of Divinity with an Emphasis in Youth Ministries, but the stresses of life hindered me from completing the program. I am a photographer that prefers to shoot weddings. I have encouraged each of my son’s to attended college. Presently I have one son attending a state college where he is pursuing a degree in education and administration. I have another son attending a university where he is pursuing a degree in Computer Science. This particular son speaks and read Japanese and excels in Latin. I have acquired temporary custody of my grand-daughter that came to me unruly. She did not want to attend college. She boldly told me a degree had no value. Let’s just say grandma whipped her into shape. She is now onboard for college. She is planning to attend college as everyone else has done and is doing. Her economic change has given her the ability to dream and expect more out and from life. I try to vacation at least twice a year. My husband and I are lovers of nature; therefore, we go camping as often as time permits. But we camp Annette’s style in a luxury travel trailer. A fellow camper told me our camper was like a home away from home. She got it right! With all said and looking back on my accomplishments, I guess during parts of my life I was making a few good choices, and the decision to write about “Black Women Have It Going On” is one of my best life choices.