Today I got a question asking if my husband’s daughter got the email we sent her nearly a week ago. Yes, she got the email and with her dad’s permission I’m posting her response.
I am not upset at all. Every statement is the truth. I know that about myself. I put unrealistic expectations on Jake. A friend of mine (who likes to counsel me for free) helped me see through the crap that I believe should be true. She helped me realize that I was spoon fed to be totally dependant on a man and he should take care of your every need. You shouldn’t have to work and you should be in tons of debt to reach that ‘American dream.’ The exact line is..’you aren’t a real member of society unless..’ And for so long I have believed that. I am 22 years old and have a monstrous amount of debt because I was told at a young age that that is how you are successful. No, it makes you stressed arena sick. There are ways to have those great things, like a house or a new car, without being overcome with a great amount of debt. It is called saving. Something Jake and I were never taught and are trying to teach ourselves now. It is very difficult. Because we were taught you weren’t anyone unless you have tons of material items. His step-dad is very materialistic. His mom isn’t but his step-dad, just like my mother, make you feel terrible about your accomplishments if they aren’t to their standards. I am working on my attitude everyday. Every morning I wake up and I think of something I am thankful for. I may not like my job but my coworke just gave me all of her Thursdays and my Fridays back. That means 30 hours a week instead of 10. And that means I will also quality for insurance through the union. I may hate getting up early but it keeps a roof over my head, it keeps food in my cabinets and so that I am able to buy Layla’s meds. I am working on not being too hard on Jake. That one is really hard because he isn’t great at staying on top of important things. And when he doesn’t stay on top of it it makes me feel like he has not been truthful with me. So many times in the past he has not been. We are working on it and d everyday is a new day.I love you!