The Prayers of Black Women: Gathering the Pieces of a Broken Marriage

Artist:  Unknown
Artist: Unknown

A week ago I was in a conversation with a friend.  Immediately, I found myself praying silently.  His words were upsetting.  His confidence was frightening.  And most noteworthy was his self-proclaim spiritual position as an ambassador for Christ.  Scary!  His words were without a doubt bloodcurdling.

If he had not came across as an insufferable know-it-all I could have drummed up some sympathy and informed him that his words were discouraging to his listeners, as they stopped him from making a difference.  With retrospect I must write, arrogant know-it-alls most often do more mental damage than the person that is doing the abusing.  There are effective ways to counsel a person in crisis and using tough love must be implemented at the correct time, or else nothing said or being done will help hurting people move forward with living their lives.

My friend was conversing with me loudly.  He spoke fast.  And with the combination of speaking loud and speaking fast he held the floor.  There was no room to exit the conversation, therefore, I found myself being victimized by his bitter words that held no comfort.  Again!

To my dismay I am realizing that my friend set me up.  He knows my present dilemmas.  He knew I could easily discuss them.  Therefore, he asked conversation starter type questions that would lure me in and prompt me to begin discussing my personal life.  Honestly, he was looking for a conversation that made him feel good about himself.  As why the first question out of his deceitful mouth was “Are you at a drive thru?”  When I answered with a hearty “No” then he proceeded with “What’s going on?”  After I began to tell him of my husband’s legal problems he became immediately argumentative.

He said things to this effect:  What good is your husband to you?  Why don’t you just get rid of him?  I thought you were going to get rid of him?  You sound like my momma.  She is forever complaining about daddy.  We the kids have told her to leave him.  I finally told her stop complaining about daddy.  I told her I was sick of hearing it.

Wow!  Right!  After hearing the bitter words he and his siblings have said and are saying to their aged mom, I didn’t feel sad for me any longer.  I came to his mother’s defense with stating “It is not that easy to leave a person when your lives are webbed together.”  He said, “Yes it is!”

Really!  Personally, I feel a marriage should never be easy to end unless a person’s life or mental wellbeing is being threatened.

I feel people with nomadic character traits can easily leave their spouses quickly without just cause.  But a person that has been married for over 50 plus years just can’t jump up and leave a perceivably abusive spouse.  It is not that easy!  So today I would like to pray for couples that are having marital problems and have been married for more years than they can remember.

Lord in your Holy word you say in Genesis 2:18b, “It is not good that the man should be alone:”

Lord there is numerous things that can be considered as marital problems; therefore, today, I would like to pray for those that are unhappily married.  Can you please spend your vacation with these couples for as long as they need you to stay?  Can you please take your Spirit of Comfort to bandage wounds sustained by marital conflict.  Can you collect their many tears and dry their eyes with promises of a brighter tomorrow.  Can you fill their hearts with love, unconditional love for the spouse they find unlovable.  Can you give those they consort with a spirit of understanding?  Can you give each spouse your spirit of truth on love, marriage, commitment, and divorce?  Can you give them joy where there is sorrow?  And most of all Lord, can you give them peace that surpasses all mankind’s understanding where there is conflict?  So all that loves them will not be affected by their marital woes.

Lord your word in John 6:12 say’s, “Gather the pieces that are leftover.  Let nothing be wasted.”  Please allow these couples to gather up their fragmented marital lives and bring the broken pieces to you so nothing from their marriage will be wasted.

Sincerely your faithful daughter,

Annette

Inspirational Fridays: Guy In The Glass Poem

Artist:  Unknown
Artist: Unknown

Dale Wimbrow

(1895-1954)

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.

Vocabulary Mondays – disperse

Artist:  Artis Harrison
Artist: Artis Harrison

Word:  disperse

Part of Speech:  verb

Meaning: to scatter or spread out

Word Usage:  The crowd began to DISPERSE as the concert came to an end.  (GRE Vocabulary Flashcards)

Inspirational Fridays – Unleashing Your Potential

Rock Creek Golf Course
Rock Creek Golf Course

Frank R. Tillapaugh

Unleashing Your Potential

An endless stream of messages, tasks and events will try to lure us from what God has called us to do.

As unique as God’s children are, so will the unique experiences that will aim to distract us from the business at hand.

Only if we have set our priorities and realize the significance of what we are doing for God’s greater glory, can we keep on keeping on.

We can then stay on course.

Grammatical Wednesdays – Subject vs. Noun

Nouns

Last week I discussed the eight parts of speech.   As I noted last week “parts of speech defines how words are being used.”

This week I will like to discuss subjects that are also known as nouns.  Nouns can be a person, animal, place, thing, or abstract idea.  Stop!  Wait!  Explain!  What is an abstract idea?

An abstract idea is an idea that can be interpreted in many different ways. Some examples include:Betrayal, Charity, Courage, Cowardice, Cruelty, Forgiveness, Truth, Love, Anger, Fear, Grief, Happiness, Jealously, Sympathy, Insanity, Knowledge, Wisdom, Right/Wrong, Duty, Fame, Justice, Liberty, Friendship, Greed, Innocence, Rules, Social Norm, and Religion.Usually these abstract terms are difficult to define alone, but easier when in context. For example: What is Right? vs. What is the right answer to this math equation?

For most people it will be easier to answer the second question, because it is in context.

Other words:

The question “What is Right?” is a proper question and “right” is abstract idea.  However it is hard to figure that ‘right’ is the abstract idea because of limited information.  Therefore, when the question is asked in the following way “What is the right answer to this math equation?” it gives more detail.  As a result it is becomes easier to find ‘right’ as a abstract idea, thus, making “right” a noun.

NOTE:  If you are an English guru and notice I have made an error in my interpretation please contact me with the correct answer.

Taboo Tuesdays: Learning to be Happy in Your Skin – Part II

Last week I shared the following story:

MA Concerned Mom asked:

I have asked my friends and family a million times but nothing works maybe someone can give me something else to try? I have a daughter who is 5 she is half african american half white. She is a beautiful girl but she HATES her color (carmel). Ive tried explaining to her that she is beautiful and no matter what color she is she is beautiful. Ive tried explaining everything to her it dont work! My son is very pale color and she seems to be so jealous of him I even have a hard time getting her to go to her.dads house or family’s cause she dont want to be around “colored” people. Its like she resents them for her color! She often ask who God punished her and made her brown or if she can paint herself white. Please someone have tips? Im out of ideads..

Taboo Tues Blog PhotoWhen I read the story something about the content tapped into my hidden issues of self-hatred.  I immediately recognized the unhealthy emotions as painful childhood memories.  Honestly, I wanted them to remain buried.  Mainly because they are suppressed memories from my childhood.   I didn’t know how to deal with them.  Yet something bigger, something greater, did not want my feelings of hopelessness to stay buried.  Apparently it is time I visited the giants that seemed so much bigger to the little girl in the photo.

Coming across the plea from a hopeless mother has changed my life.  The story casts light on my life learned lessons about self-hatred.

Now that I am an adult I am wiser than the little girl within that continues to feel helpless, unloved, and ugly.  Unknown to her I can go to the giants of rejection, abuse, and self mutilation.   I can knock on their door without fear.  I can barge my way into restraint places as a protector of hers and my mental well being.  And most of all I give my spirit the authority to emotionally rescue the little girl in the photo and join her with the woman I have become.

Love yourself, for if you don’t how can you expect anybody else to love you? ~Author Unknown

Vocabulary Mondays – disparity

Artist:  Artis Harrison
Artist: Artis Harrison

Word:  disparity

Part of Speech:  noun

Meaning: inequality; difference

Word Usage:  There is much DISPARITY between my perception of the judicial process and the actual manner in which it works. (GRE Vocabulary Flashcards)

 

Inspirational Fridays – The American Dream

Photo Source:  www.sodhead.com
Photo Source: http://www.sodhead.com

An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

“Only a little while” the Mexican replied.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family’s immediate needs” the Mexican said.

“But” the American then asked, “What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said: “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed: “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you could buy a bigger boat and, with the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked: “But senor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied: “15-20 years.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said: “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO – an Initial Public Offering – and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The American said slowly: “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”

Source:  Roger Darlington